Relationships & Awakening

Part of the spiritual awakening process involves the natural attraction of like energy to like energy. As we continue to delve into self-awareness and consciousness, people who were once very important in our lives may seem to become difficult to be around, and this can lead to feelings of turmoil, guilt or melancholy. It is important that you remember that people come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. This is a spiritual cliche which is a simple aspect of the law of attraction. When you are operating on a certain vibrational frequency your energy will draw people to you who suit that resonance and who naturally vibe with your own energy.

This can lead to difficulty with personal relationships however, as we find ourselves growing in different directions than our loved ones. I myself have had to say goodbye to close friends in the past few years, simply because we stopped "clicking". Now, this isn't to say we stop being friends with people because we feel we are on a different level than them; this isn't about picking and choosing our friends. This is about friends simply sliding out of our lives for what at the time may seem like ridiculous or even hurtful reasons.

A couple of years ago I prayed to the Universe to send me a close girlfriend, I had moved from city to city so many times in the decade previous that I found myself without a close friend who I could sit and talk with in person. So I was really yearning for a physical friendship, and the Universe delivered. I met a woman who was so much like me in so many ways that we automatically became thicker than thieves. And the friendship nourished me in so many ways, for a while.

When the friendship began to demand more of me than I was equipped to give, rather than let it flow naturally I tried to bend, and be who I felt I should be in the relationship. I allowed myself to be bossed around at times, to have my life put under the microscope of a nosy friend, and ultimately the balance shifted to the point where I no longer felt comfortable in the friendship. I talked to my friend several times, in very low key ways, keeping it light and airy so as not to rock the boat, and for a while things would be good but eventually the balance would shift again and I'd find myself feeling somewhat choked by the friendship.

When the Universe began giving me signs that the friendship no longer suited me spiritually or mentally, instead of faithfully letting it ease into a gentle acquaintanceship, I fought for it. I felt threatened at the thought of losing my friend, so I tried harder to be who I felt she wanted me to be in the friendship. This was exhausting and eventually things just came to a head.

A few weeks ago the Universe just closed the door on the friendship, and it hit me like a tonne of bricks as my phone stopped ringing, and our nearly daily visits became a non-entity. I mourned for a few days, and felt angry for a few days, and tried to understand what I had done wrong. Of course, as a spiritual person this is what we do; we examine ourselves trying to ascertain our responsibility in a situation, to see where we can grow, how we can improve, to see if our ego is tricking us in some capacity.

In the end I have come to accept that the friendship was more work than play in the end, and while we had everything in common when we first met, we have nothing in common now. This is not to say I am better than her, or vice versa; we simply grew in different directions.

And this is a very common occurrence during awakening; you will find yourself quite like a magnet with some people being drawn to you inexplicably, and others being repelled. You will know immediately within your intuition whether a person is beneficial to your experience or detrimental to it. And if someone who has been in your life for a long time suddenly becomes less involved, perhaps this is simply the natural balance of relationships as you grow, evolve and walk your spiritual path.

So be sure to value your relationships, and yet do not cling to them. This was a lesson which was hard for me to learn, as one of my biggest issues in this life is a fear of abandonment. And yet in the last decade I have had a few significant relationships with people I love dearly come to a sudden and unexpected end. My usual response is to internalize and try to figure out what I did wrong. But in truth, there is no blame - people simply grow in different directions.

You may find over the next 13 months that many people suddenly drop out of your life, and while it may seem confusing or saddening it is imperative that you understand that neither you or the other person has necessarily done anything "wrong"; chances are the reason for you being in each others life has come to a close, and the season has ended. So give thanks for the time you've had together, and then release them from the bonds of expectation; let them move on their own path, as you continue down yours. And you never know, your paths may again cross in the future, as you grow towards one another again.

And of course, you'll find new people moving into your life, and it will often feel like kismet, and synchronicity as you meet people who you resonate with on a deeply connected level. This is the Universe providing you with a much more nurturing atmosphere within which to continue growing.

Let go of those who no longer gravitate towards you, and welcome people who are drawn to your glow. Know that relationships are also reflections of who we are in our lives, and sometimes when we make internal philosophical changes our dear ones may not understand, or tolerate these changes. You are not obligated to be someone you are not to please another person. So value who you are, and who you are continuing to become, by gently releasing old bonds of friendship which no longer nourish your soul.

All paths lead to the same destination inevitably, and yet the paths themselves are infinite, and we are each free to choose which path we take. Choose yours with love and respect for yourself, and let yourself be surrounded by people who uplift you, who value you, and who expect nothing of you that you don't expect of yourself.