My Experience With Death

You hear stories of people having near death experiences, or NDE's, while undergoing major surgeries, and these stories are generally always so positive, poignant, and full of emotional wonder and awe. I have heard these stories and my eyes have filled with tears as I felt the beauty each person described; the white light, the angelic music, the shimmering shapes of loved ones waiting to guide one Home to the great beyond. My own mother had an NDE at age 8 when she drowned in a community swimming pool. She described a dark tunnel whisking her formlessly towards a brilliant white light, with a host of angelic singing that would move anyone to tears, and then that beautiful light moving further away as she was resuscitated. Her story stuck with me always, and even as I read the books by Dr. Michael Newton PhD, called Journey of Souls and Destiny of Souls, I always felt that the moments after death would be beautiful and inspiring.

My own personal NDE is not as beautiful. I did not actually die, however I assure you the reality of death was no less stark. I lay in hospital five weeks ago on a dose of pain medication so high it caused severe hallucinations, and my arms were paralyzed; I was in and out of reality and the first two days were confusing, painful and frightening. I lucidly recall floating between realms, in a haze of drugs and discomfort, and at one horrifying moment I just knew in my very cells I was about to die. I heard confusing voices around me, and I was trapped in a prison of pain I could not describe verbally as I could not make my mouth form words. I was seeing horrifying visions due to hallucination and I just keep thinking "Oh my god I am dying, and it is the worst experiencing Ive ever had - why won't it just happen? Please make it fast! This is awful!"

Death did not come. But the result of this experiencing was no less profound upon me. I came "back" from that experience changed, forever, and deeply.

I see so clearly now; more clearly than I have ever seen before. I know what is important, what is "real" as opposed to what is illusion, and I am in constant communion with this knowledge.

Let me share a few inarticulate thoughts, in the hopes of spreading a wave of Love that will ripple throughout the www and into the world of form and format itself.

• Life is fragile and phantasmic and it does not have any guarantees - LIVE IT. Every moment.
• You are a beautiful and formless lump of clay which lays ready to be shaped and molded - YOU are the ARTIST.
• If you are displeased by any part of your self, your life, your experience - CHANGE IT.
• Do not wait for God to grant you miracles - create them NOW.
• You are surrounded by infinite potential in the form of fluid energy which is the very LOVE energy of God/Creation/Universe -- it is within you - without you - around you - and IS you.
• The past is to be learned from and LET GO OF.
• The future is limitless but is being shaped by your fears as strongly as by your hopes - choose to pay heed to your hopes and to learn from your fears and LET THEM GO.
• LOVE is the only TRUTH - everything that does not resonate with love is man made and therefore FALSE.
• Every moment can be a miraculous revelation of peace and love - the only thing standing between you and the love and peace of God is your THOUGHTS.
• THOUGHTS are programs running in the computer of your brain - what you DO WITH THEM is up to you - the PROGRAMMER.
• Angels are human, and walking among us.
• Gratitude must be verbalized and exercised.

• LOVE LOVE LOVE.

Please love yourself, dearly and deeply. See yourself as more than the sum parts of your experiences in life, and know that you are a work in progress, and that anything that makes you uncomfortable about yourself is completely editable.

If you cannot love yourself then there is truly NO MEANING to life.

Start with self love - when you can feel that - and let the love of the Universe flow through you - then love is limitless and loving others is effortless. And that is truly the most rewarding way to live ones life - in LOVE with all others.

This does not mean we will not have strife or struggle, or that we will not fall into the pit of 3D polarity - life is a pendulum and nothing is static - and yet when we fall into 3D we can exercise the beautiful option of regaining equilibrium and REMEMBERING LOVE.

Love is all there is. Anything else is a byproduct of the mind. And the mind should not run the program - the programmer must be in charge.

Own your thoughts.

Love Love Love,