Monday, January 20, 2014

The Truth about the Law of Attraction: Avoidance vs. Involvement

I think our collective search for enlightened self-awareness is a beautiful sign of our changing times, and a testament to the human spirit and will to be more than we currently are. On the journey of awakening, we encounter ideas and ideologies that test our boundaries, flex our compassion and force us to hold ourselves up to scrutiny as we attempt to see the ego clearly in order to grow beyond its limited and clingy insecurities.

One of the major tenets of the new age spirituality is the Law of Attraction; this is a large part of the movement, and one which is open to much interpretation, and ironically it's depth seems to grow as we do as individuals. In the beginning of a journey of self-awareness the LoA seems like a magical realm we can access if we act, think, and speak in proper or positive ways.

As we grow and evolve, we come to realize that one simply cannot play at attraction to bargain with the fates; one must shift their entire state of being in order to be in alignment with the fullness of the physics of this Universe.

One of the pitfalls along the journey, in regards to the Law of Attraction, which can catch you up and stick you in one delusional spot, is the notion that since like attracts like, you must surround yourself with only positive people, and remove all negative people from your life. I have seen people walk away from relationships, marriages, parents, family and friends because of this very issue, and witnessed the outcome as a result. It is never what you hope it will be.

The Law of Attraction promises more of what you put out there; if you remove negative people from your life because you only want positive people in your life, you will surely soon be surrounded by negative people. This is because the sub-thought, or the underlying motivator is fear; fear of the negative people, and all they bring with them. The Law of Attraction is a lesson machine, and there is certainly much more to be learned from our adverse relationships than our harmonic ones.

Ridding yourself of negative relationships will only serve to teach you about abandonment, disloyalty, and running away; you cannot escape karma. It is wiser to learn how to relate to these negative people in a more positive way. Rather than disassociating yourself from the negative people about you, it would be wiser to focus on what you can learn, and how you can help.

I learned this lesson in a poignant and super intimate way myself, through the relationship I have with my mother. While she is not a negative person per se, our relationship was negative, critical, and painful for me. I walked away from the relationship finally and stayed away for three years. During that three years I learned to come to terms with my feelings, guilt, anger, and thought I had done the "right" thing. Life was certainly more peaceful without the arguments we would have had. And yet, I missed my mother. And at the end of the experience, nothing was gained; in fact three years had been lost.

When I let her back into my life I learned immediately that nothing had changed; we still had communication issues, respect issues, and a massive imbalance in our relationship. So I began to ask new questions; rather than asking "why does this happen to me every time we talk?" or "How can she be so cold?" I began to ask "What is it about me that sets her off?" and "How can I adjust my behavior in order to bring out the best in her?"

When I adjusted my perception it all fell into place, magically. My mother wanted to nurture me, and I had never realized I was defensive towards that, feeling as though she was treating me like a child. She wanted to feel a motherly sense of control and power, so I allowed her to take on more a parental concern roll in my life again, and when I stopped being critical of her, she immediately stopped doing so with me. It has been a growth period in the last few years between us, as our power struggles gave way to a real and authentic relationship. We enjoy one another in a way we never did previously. When I got out of her way long enough to let her be my parent again, and stopped being defensive long enough to let her nurture, she became comfortable with me. And this allowed her to accept me more openly for who I am in return.

I am pleased to say, that after decades of unhealthy toxicity between us, we are now truly mother and daughter again. Neither of us are perfect, but neither of us are fixated upon the others faults. And for once, we can just enjoy each other "as is."

In this way, the LoA has truly "rewarded" me with "more of the same", in that I put in the genuine time and effort to see my part in the negativity in the relationship, and the entire dynamic of the relationship shifted as soon as I had the revelation I needed.

So this brings me to another pitfall regarding the Law of Attraction; this is a mentality I see many spiritualists exuding which needs addressing, as it is detrimental not only to the individual, but to the very planet itself.

"If I don't think about it, it isn't an issue."

Many new agers seem to have this idea that if they don't think about it, it ceases to be an issue; and they act as though this is positive thinking when in fact it is apathy and avoidance.

Sure, where you put your focus your energy intensifies. Yet if you look around you to the world at large, we are living in very uncertain times; there is so much cataclysm around us, hunger, war, tyranny, injustice, and none of these wrongs will be righted by turning a blind eye towards them.

The LoA would be best utilized by lightworkers and spiritualists who understand that shining a positive light upon the negative aspects of this world will exponentially benefit everyone, and everything.

None of us are here to experience an easy Nirvana; if we were, we would all move to Tibet and sit upon mountains with monks, chanting, taking up vows of celibacy and silence, so we can do kindness all day and meditate our way to higher levels of personal awareness.

We are not on that mountain however, and there are very real issues all around us that impose themselves upon our empathy and compassion, and ignoring them does not make them go away. Enlightenment is not something to seek for the sake of having it, nor is it something that comes easily; truly enlightened souls know that difficulty is the truest path to ease.

So do you want to really explore the LoA, and truly flex your awakening journey? Get involved. Get involved in anything that ignites the passion within your spirit. There are so many causes upon this planet that will fire your chakras and get your empathy boiling, and this involvement will connect you to others who are working towards a common cause; you will learn together, grow together, and discover real and valid ways to be the change you wish to see in the world.

I challenge you to challenge yourself; follow the path of least resistance and yet keep your eyes open and be aware of the world around you. Paying heed to the heartache of your fellow man will not drag you "down", but perhaps it will help you figure out a way to lift others UP.

The Law of Attraction is a universal law of physics; science, not a mystical system of barter or exploitation. Rather than focusing on what you can get out of it, try to see what you can put into it.

To paraphrase, for a little tongue-in-cheek fun;

"Ask not what the Law of Attraction can do for you, ask what YOU can do for the world around you."

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