Saturday, February 21, 2015

Anger Is Not Real: Understanding Our Fears

Animals operate via instinct, and biology. Animals can show fear, they can demonstrate territoriality, protectiveness, possessiveness, hunger, desperation, and even madness in rare cases. Yet there is one thing animals do not demonstrate, something which humans demonstrate all too often, which isn't germane to who we truly are; Anger.

Anger is not a true emotion; it simply doesn't exist in and of itself, it is a man-made emotion which is generated at it's core and foundation by fear. Fear that is usually attached to a lack of control. Fear is the root of all anger, and until people are willing to deeply reflect and introspect upon their anger, they will never be able to truly overcome it.

And we need to overcome our anger on this planet, because it is driving us towards the brink of extinction.

There is a lot of anger in the world, anger which people are quick to demonstrate now in every day circumstances. It is frightening, which definitely creates more anger. And in this way, anger has become like a snowball, spreading more fear everywhere it goes, which in turn becomes more anger, and around we go.

You show me an angry person, and I'll show you their experiences, their childhood, their violations and mistreatments, and show you how their fear transformed into anger.

What makes you angry? Think about it for a moment. Be open minded, and for a moment think about something that simply pisses you off beyond reason. You know what grinds my gears? I get ticked off royally at snobbery, and elitism. Why? Now I could sit here and list off reasons to you, to try to justify my anger towards societies different treatment of people based on their income, but truly it would only be my ego trying to validate an emotion that serves no purpose. The real reason I get angry at snobbery is because I'm afraid of being judged as a bad person for being poor. It's fear that spurs my anger, plain and simple. I am afraid that the world may not take me seriously, or respect me, or understand me, or see value in me, because I do not have a lot of money.

Pretty silly, yes? No. We all do this my friend. While my example may not apply to you, you yourself exhibit anger over some thing, or behavior, or action, and at the core it is not anger that makes you feel this way; it is fear.

Fear is a vulnerable feeling and emotion; when we are afraid we fear being exposed, or being left open to be hurt or mistreated.We fear having no control, over the behaviors, feelings, and judgments of others. We share our fears with those we are closest with, yet don't go around broadcasting our fears, lest we be taken advantage of because of them. So instead of wearing our fear in public, we disguise it as anger, and righteousness, and eventually we begin to believe the disguise is a valid part of who we are. But it isn't - it is simply covering up the truth which is based on a very simple fear.

Every act of violence a person can perpetrate upon another living being, is motivated at some level by fear. Now you may automatically feel like NO DEE - you are WRONG here... But bear with me. For a moment.

Let me use some of the most heinous exhibitions of anger to draw an analogy. For starters, let's look at people who abuse children, or animals. You may not see them being motivated by fear, you may simply see a sick mofo who needs to be taught a lesson! You may feel outraged by their absolutely disgusting lack of morality, compassion or common sense. And yet I am sure if you looked more closely at the abuser, to their own childhood perhaps, or some life experience, you would find someone who was once abused themselves, and never learned to express their fears about it, and instead developed an angry disposition by which to protect themselves. In this way their anger is a byproduct of their own painful past. I am not justifying their angry behavior or abuse! Not by a long shot. I am simply trying to draw you to see this from a new perspective; their evil acts are not committed for the sake of being evil; they have let their fear transmute into something so horrendous and monstrous that they only know how to express themselves in ugly vile ways.

I was abused growing up, and yet I did not grow up to become an abuser myself. Why? Why didn't my fear transform itself into an anger that cripples my ability to treat others with compassion? I think the reason why is simple: the love within me is too strong to be overcome by fear or anger. I am no angel, I've done things I regret in my life, yet I've tried to learn from my mistakes, and my empathy makes it impossible for me to willingly do harm to anyone or anything else. My fear makes me vulnerable, yet I see within it a strength, so I am not afraid to be honest about my fears. I rather want to celebrate my fears, in the hopes that I will understand them enough to overcome them, and then share that with you so you too can better understand your own fears, in order to surpass them.

Another example in our society, all the crap going on in the middle east - terrorism, extreme religious zealots; you may just see a bunch of angry men using fear and murder as a way to control their reality. But I try to see a little deeper into this; seeing men who were once boys, children, who were raised in a society which does not value life in the way other cultures do. Boys who were indoctrinated into a fearful response to the western world, boys who were trained, and conditioned to meet their fear with violence in order to overcome their fear. I see boys who became violent murderous men simply because they had shitty role models. This war on terror? It's an absolute joke - terrorism will never cease to exist on earth until such a time as every parent on this planet endeavors to raise their children to LOVE instead of FEAR.

Love creates bridges, love uses commonality and compassion to create inclusion.

Fear creates walls, and uses our differences and chaos to create separation.

The next time you feel angry, about anything whatsoever, bit it huge or small, take a moment to explore where that anger you're feeling is coming from. Go deep - dare to go as deep as you humbly can. I'm quite sure you will find your anger is a byproduct of a fear that is so deep seeded within you, that you may not even be consciously aware of it. Yet through a conscious desire to become self-aware, you can and will become consciously aware of everything that "makes you tick", and this is what leads to revelation, liberation, and sovereignty.

You are not an angry person, and this isn't an angry world. You are a complex being who has been raised within the context of the culture and society around you, who has been taught what to think and believe by people who have no better idea about life than their forefathers before them. This world is a complex collective of billions of individual thoughts, feelings, fears, hopes, and yearnings. When you see people exhibiting anger, rather than think about how different they are from you, look instead into the core of them to see how similar you are. For no matter how outwardly evil, vile, or different you may perceive them to be, at the core they are a person who was once a child, who was raised differently than you, who lacks a level of self-awareness that enables them to operate out of love rather than fear.

We were all born in much the same way - we lived within warmth and security for 9 months, then arrived into this 3 dimensional world of density, form, and matter with no ability to communicate ourselves. We spent the first year of our life using crying, and grunts and small sounds to communicate our needs. It wasn't until we began to learn and comprehend language that we began to understand fear, and anger.

Fear and anger are taught, and learned, and are in no way indicative of who we are as biological beings on this planet. Anger is not a part of our biology, instinct, or genetic makeup. It is a byproduct of fear, and all fears can be overcome and transcended through self-awareness, and a willingness to open ones mind to see beyond the small confining space we are trained to occupy.

I challenge you to view anger in this way now, moving out into the world and observing anger as it happens around you. Witness the anger in others, through their words, their actions and behaviors, and then allow your empathy to envision what has led this person to use anger as a means to protect themselves from what they fear.

Explore the fears within you - by exploring the things that make you angry. Go deep, see where your anger begins - because this is where your fear stagnated to become an obstacle within you. I assure you, when you are able to see your emotions in this clear way, you will be able to overcome the things you fear in a liberating and eye opening way.

Choose Love - it is truly the only emotional motivator that matters.

No comments :

Post a Comment

Your feedback is always welcome; please be constructive