My cousin has sparked something within my own spirit, and I find myself feeling inspired to re-explore my own journey up until now. I know my journey is nowhere near "over", as indeed it never ends; we are always going to have more to learn, know, discover, and reveal along the path of self-aware awakening. But I look back to the days when I was first beginning to truly sense my Divinity, and something deep within me sighs contentedly. It feels grand to share what I know with my cousin, and grander still to know that I can learn with her, as she embarks upon her own journey.
I had spent so long with people in my forum and website community's who were all going through what I was going through at relatively the same time. We all discovered and explored together, and shared our epiphanies as they occurred, and glorified in our elation at realizing our Oneness, and our connectivity to the Love and Light of the Universe. As time went by the website retired, and the forum has long since fallen quiet; and as with all things, a new phase began in my life. My journey which had been so public, and shared was all of a sudden quite solitary. So in the last few years I have become accustomed to keeping my revelations to myself, and in this way I learned to experience the brilliance of my awareness in a very intimate way within myself. No more did I rush to my computer to share my latest vision, or call a dear friend to talk about my most recent meditation. I had become a solitary woman learning how to validate myself, and wear my excitement internally, for no one else to see.
I knew this was a necessary part of my journey, in fact it seemed that everyone I had previously been connected to spiritually were going through a similar time of introverted spirituality. We all seemed to become quiet, and turn within at the same time. So it felt natural, pure, and authentic and I did not question it.
But to be honest, something magical also disappeared at that time, as I had grown so used to sharing in the elation of spiritual ideas and breakthroughs. The last few years I found the spark had all but vanished within me, as I had no one to bounce my ideas off of, and no one to share theirs with me in turn.
Then my cousin came into my life and the old vibration began to whir again, and my Chakra's burst wide open as I recognized her as a twin flame within my soul family. And she revitalized me in ways I am only just now beginning to truly grasp. You see, I don't think spirituality is meant to be kept inside, to ones self. I think it's natural to want to share what we're experiencing, and in essence "witness" to others who are also experiencing the magic of an Awakening themselves.
My kindling relationship with my cousin has inspired me to open up and become more transparent again, and what better place to do that than here? My blog began as an ardent desire to assist others on their own journey of self-awareness and awakening. And in the last couple of years I found I had less to share, less to say, as I had grown so accustomed to keeping my peace deep within me. But now I feel as though there are so many things I want to share with you!
My hiatus feels to be over. I needed a break, as my beliefs shattered a few years ago, and I reached a new level of awareness that proved my previous beliefs to be nothing but fear-generated fairy tales. I struggled in the last few years with aligning my spiritual knowledge with my every day life; so much of what I now feel to be true is so less complex than it once was. No more do I feel I have all of the answers; indeed it was that belief that held me back in so many ways. It is human of us to want to define a feeling, or an understanding, and label it as 'the truth' - case closed. But I know now that what I believed to be unbreakable, was in essence so fragile at it's core that exposing it to the Light of Truth was all it took to shatter it completely.
That is why I closed the Awakening Starseeds website a few years ago. It is why I withdrew. It is also why I've burned so many bridges with old spiritual friends and acquaintances to be honest. When you slowly come to realize that everyone you thought was "right" is just another dogmatic facet of humans creating God in their own image and likeness, it can cause a depression. And it did for me.
And yet here I am, recharged, and ready to open my delicate petals to the Light again, to rise above the rubble of my previously well laid plans, and begin to explore who I am now in light of all I've come to know, and understand.
So Dee, you're asking, what is your point? As always, I do have one, it just required adequate preamble to get to it...
The journey of Awakening spiritually and discovering who we are as aware beings in this Universe, is never ending. And while we can find things that feel like the bottom line - it is best to never rest to comfortably upon your beliefs at any given juncture. You see, the truest truth of all Universal Truth is that we can not possibly know the Truth. We can find glimmers of it, and snatch moments of it, within kernels of radiant understanding, and moments of sublime epiphany. But to live within the Truth absolutely, for all time, requires us to be more than we are. And as long as we live within the skin, and the limited processing system called the brain, we simply are not capable of holding the whole Truth at all times.
So what is the point if we can't know the whole truth? Perhaps that is the point in and of itself; to admit we cannot know the truth in it's full glory, and to be okay with that.
Do any of us truly feel we know who or what God is? Can any of us be so bold as to presume to know the essence of the creator of all life and vitality in this Universe?
We don't even know if our Universe is a singularity, or if there are others. We haven't even been able to leave our own solar system to explore beyond. We are at the dawn of enlightenment with science, and we can now send probes and satellites into space to see further than we've ever seen before, and yet we are still here on Earth, imagining, hoping, and guessing.
To believe we have all the answers is to lie to ourselves. And I get that now. Firmly and fully, and above all else, humbly.
My previous hubris at having any answers has been fully shed; my arrogance has given way to a new found sense of awe and wonder.
The questions far outweigh any answer we could attain; indeed it is the questions that have shaped our very civilization! We have built whole cities, nations, and ideologies based on religions which at best are just guessing at God. We are living a life which has been set in place by our forefathers, who are no longer alive, based on their dreams, their goals, their fears, and their insecurities. All of our economic, political, and religious beliefs and goals are based on both hopeful and joyful imagining, and fearful dogmatic anxiety.
I'm ready to begin the next phase of my own Awakening, and I hope you feel welcome to join me. I will share what I can, and try to not get caught up in the details. The truest goal I have personally for my Awakening, and indeed for yours, is to achieve a sense of self-awareness in which there is no room for the lies we've lived before.
So I shake it all of, and stand here anew, ready to start upon this next cycle with a clean conscience, and a deep faith in the Universe. I know nothing 100%. I hope for much, and fear even more. But what I know for sure is nothing at all, because I have an open mind, and an open heart.
And in order to seek the truth, one must be willing to shed that which is false. My cousin is embarking upon her own journey, and I choose to continue upon my own alongside her. And I invite you to stay connected via this blog, or the links above to the forum or facebook group, so that we can all share our journey together, with unity, in the spirit of sharing knowledge, and learning together.
I wish us all clarity, peace, and humility.
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