Raising Your Frequency Through Meditation; Achieving Ascension

I talk a lot about meditation, chakras, and energy work. Right now I'd like to talk about what these things lead to; the goal many of us share which is to attain a higher rate of vibrancy - ascension.

Ascension in the biblical sense means we all leave our physical bodies behind and rise into Heaven. In the Spiritual or New Age sense, it is quite the same - yet we do not have to die to do it.

When you meditate, or do yoga, or go on Shamanic voyage, or perform energy work or lightwork of some kind, the desire is Universal and the same from each one of us; rising above the humdrum tedium of the every day world, to achieve a state of peace, higher thinking, Oneness, and calm.

Yet, do you ever wonder what would happen if you continued to rise higher than you typically do?

There is no end to how "high" we can soar, literally, when we are opening ourselves up Universally and rising vibrationally so that we are achieving a higher state of being. There are "limits" to the physical body of course, there are "places" where the vibration is so high, the frequency too intense, and the physical body is just too dense to manage operating within the chaotic-like waves of energetic activity. So we rise as far as we desire to, within the context of being a Human, and there are levels of dimensional reality that we can access which are truly transcendent and blissful. There is no need to fear going "too far" - it's not possible.

It is so human and natural to fear this "place" the first few times you "get there". It's alien to the human body to be bombarded by such rapidly vibrating energy and light, and it can cause the nervous system to respond with anxiety, which can cause heart palpitations, sweats, shaking. Yet if you remember that you are okay, and what you're accessing is always there, surrounding you, and you're simply accessing it consciously for the first times, it becomes easier to assimilate.

Meditation or yoga, chanting, chakra work, all these and more are basically all tools meant to lead to the same destination; which is indeed not a place, but an expansion of consciousness. When you let the stress within the physical body slide off, by oxygenating your blood and brain, and you feel your body begin to truly un-clench as relaxation settles into each limb and part of your body, you then will begin to think, and perceive from a different state of "mind". This is a higher aspect of your reality, and you can rise even higher into it.

Never attempt energy work or astral travel when you are not confident or sure that you are okay - your own thoughts about a thing make it manifest. If there is doubt within you, or fear, you may well create a negative or fearful experience. So be sure you first understand why you are trying to access a higher dimensional resonance.

The reason any of us want to rise upwards vibrationally is to connect to Source; Love, Light, and positivity. This in fact is closer to the true state of your soul, and you'll recognize it as such as you begin to feel those waves of bliss physically roll down your body. You will know intuitively that all is perfect in that moment. If your mind wanders or you face uncertainty just start again, breathing deeply, feeling the weight of the heavy oppressive 3 dimensional world slip off of your body. As you breathe deeply it will feel as though you are becoming physically lighter, and this is also natural.

Allow me to lead you on a quick little journey, right there where you sit.

Just take a few deep cleansing breaths, and then open your mouth just a bit, so that there is a small space between your upper teeth and your lower teeth. With each inhaled breath through your nose, let your tongue rise to touch the roof your mouth just behind your front teeth. As you exhale through your mouth, lower your tongue back down behind your bottom teeth.  Feel your jaw relax. Do this for as long as you'd like, and with each breath in see that all is Light energy of varied speeds and vibrations. Inhale the Light into you, and with each exhale you will expel grey smoke or ash, symbolizing stress, worry, fear, anxiety. Do this for as long as you wish to. In fact do this simple part of beginning a meditation as many times a day as you wish to. Its a great way to reconnect and come back to "your senses". Five minutes of good deep breathing a few times a day can make a great deal of difference in your overall sense of well being.

Okay, when you are content with your breathing, and are full of the Light, as you've exhaled all of your worry and strife, feel that every part of your physical body is actually a minute pinpoint of light. Your skin, the cells, your blood, organs, bones - all comprised of Light energy and carbon and water. Still breathing deeply feel your inner Light shining outwards from within you, until you can feel the light pulsing around you. This is your aura, your Light body. This is where your Chakra's link from your Spiritual body to your Physical body.

Tune into the Light radiating from you, and focus on how light you feel, and intend that you continue to drop heavy dense energy, as you rise upwards vibrationally to a higher state of understanding and awareness. This is a place where deep moments of connection, understanding, kismet and communion take place. And from here you may choose to remain there, or rise even higher.

As you rise above your Spiritual body, feel the Light within and around you pulsating outwards; realize now that it is connected to the Light all around you, of other people, places, animals, plants, the sky, the earth - see how your Light has no real beginning or end - as all Light on a Universal level of reality is all of One source. Some light areas are dense, some are dim, some are brighter, some burn hot, some are cold to the touch, yet all of life on Earth is connected via this Life energy, or Chi. From this place you are capable of sending healing to the Earth, it's inhabitants, creatures, lakes, rivers and oceans, the atmosphere, and everything and everyone on Earth.

You can choose to remain there, in that state of Earthly communion, or continue to rise even higher. Because there are still places you can feel and experience beyond Earth - as you rise and feel your connection to the planets in our solar system, the sun, the moons, the dark energy between everything, and then move out to the many solar systems within our milky way galaxy - this is a journey you can take as far as you want, until you are seeing the entire Universe connected by this essential Life energy.

As you raise your own vibration upwards, you free your mind from small heavy Earthly processes, and become more attuned to your souls thoughts and feelings. Words become less impactful, as everything now processes through your senses; sight, hearing, touch, taste, thought. Explore to your hearts content - Feel how we are all connected by the same essential Light energy - know that you are free to rise above, at any time you wish to.

It is from this higher state of consciousness that I perform a Tarot reading, or cleanse my home, work with Reiki, and commune with my guides and the Universal Source of all Life. You can work on your home, your family, pets, or your city, state/province, country etc. There are no limits to where you can send your Light Energy and Love intentions. Sharing that warmth and love within you is the most delightful feeling your soul can have in your body, and the Love you will feel within you is indescribable.

As always, I am more than happy to help you better understand meditation, ascension, or anything you are having difficulty understanding, or achieving or maintaining. Always know you can reach me by email or on Facebook.

You are divine. You are loved beyond your comprehension. You are gifted beyond your present understanding, and there is no limit to what you can achieve when your heart walks in union with your intuition and wisdom.

With Utmost Love & Blessings,

Answer Hate with Love: As "outside" so "Within"

This world in which we live is full of duality, so much of our reality hangs on the balance between "good" and "bad", "happy" and "sad", "love" and "hate"; is it any wonder we can end up confused, depressed, and feeling like life is just too much at times?

Turn on the news and you'll see so many negative stories, senseless killings, wars, natural disasters, all of these stories creating yet more fears within. The news seldom shares the uplifting stories that occur every day in our society. News depend upon ratings, and in this day and age sensational headlines are what get viewers interest; we are all so desensitized to the brutality in our world that it has become commonplace to hear troubling news stories and simply look away, go about our lives, pay it very little mind.

Yet we are part of a dynamic and symbiotic planet, in which we are all connected via the air we breathe, the space we inhabit, the plants and animals and people on this world are all interconnected by virtue of the things we all share; oxygen, sunlight, water, and the will to live.

So as a Lightworker, or a new age Spiritualist, how can we live amid the turmoil on planet Earth, while still nurturing Spirit, and staying centered and balanced within a sense of inner peace? It is simple in reality, and yet takes daily affirmation, repetition, and a retraining of ones own habits and thoughts, because the truest truth any of us can know and share is that we cannot attempt to "fix" the things that are wrong on this planet, until we "fix" that which requires our attention within. Individually, we each have our own inner worlds, where our past memories reside, and many of those memories have shaped us and made us into the people we are currently being. In order to evolve and grow beyond our past experiences we have to be willing to let it go, and move consciously into this moment.

This moment, is the only moment that matters, as the past is but a distant echo, and the future is unfolding moment by moment based on who we are being, how we are feeling and behaving, in this very moment. Realizing this, and truly grasping it as more than a simple concept enables you to really understand that the only significant time in your life is the one you are experiencing right now. And here, in this moment, you have the power to heal your past hurts, let go of anger, hurt, and betrayal, and move into the next moment unfettered, and free to begin shining a Light upon the world around you.

When you begin to experience a Spiritual Awakening, no matter what your beliefs may be, you begin to understand that your relationship to all life, the Universe, and God Him/Her Self is internal, intimate, and beyond the minds comprehension. This is a relationship that blossoms in the heart, and flows through your Crown and Brow chakras. When one is open and receptive to this type of communion with Spirit, then everything rather falls into place.

It is easy when you are in a higher place of receptivity and Light and compassion, to see that while the world is definitely full of darkness, and there is danger and evil of all types in our communities and societies, nothing can diminish the peace you carry within you. This is the basis of true faith; knowing that no matter what goes on outside of yourself, nothing can sever the tie you have to your bliss, your faith, your love and your Light. When you realize that no matter what is done to or through you, that no one will ever be able to rob you of your peace, your joy, your compassion, and your connection to Spiritual Love, then you free yourself to see the rest of our reality for what it is; a grand and bizarre illusion.

This is essentially what life is; a grand stage on which mankind acts out every possible scenario under the sun, in order to experience the fullness of living, in all shades and shapes of life's infinite and boundless options. We come into this world with free will; indeed the Universe gifts us with the ability to choose whatever it is we wish to experience. Yet so many people feel that they are victims of fate, or destiny, and rather than taking an active creative roll in their lives, they spend their whole life feeling as though others control their time, their responsibilities, their morality and their behavior.

Yet when you encounter a truly deep and poignant relationship with Spirit, you realize that you are free to rewrite your story, any time you want, as many times as you want, in order to live the life you truly yearn to live.

This is the gift of free will! If you dislike what you see in the world around you, then look within, because the key to making changes outside of ourselves is to first make those changes within. We are all familiar with the old adage "As Above, so Below" which simply means that whatever the saints and angels and ascended beings can experience in higher dimensional frequencies of existence, so may we here on this 3 dimensional planet, by raising our frequency (through meditation, intention, self-aware introspection), well it also applies to "As outside, so within". What you see in the world is what is mirrored to get your attention within yourself. If you see things that trouble you about people, humanity, behavior, then look within and be certain you are not somehow contributing to that condition or expression of behavior. Only then will you truly be able to examine the thing that has your attention, from a loving place of detachment and compassion and empathy, thereby making you readily able to then point your healing outwards towards the issue itself.

To make an attempt at analogy, which we all know I am horrendous at *grin*, it would be like an Oncologist (doctor who specializes in Cancers) who smokes, being angry at patients who don't do everything they can to get better.

In this way, we must be willing to examine ourselves, and see if we are somehow part of the global problem, and if we find aspects of who we are, or what we do or think, that is contributing to an external problem, then healing it, changing ones mind, and willfully becoming a part of the solution.

If you, like myself, watch the news and are sickened by what you see happening in Israel and this time, and with regards to the terror cell ISIS, then I urge you to stop seeing this issue as external of yourself. Because it isn't, nothing that takes place on Earth is external from ourselves - we are all connected. I am deeply saddened and scared by people who will take another's life seemingly so easily to prove some political or religious point. So I look within, and I find a fear within me of fundamental religion, zealots, people who are so driven by their own beliefs that they are prepared to kill and die for them. And it reminds me of who I have been in my past, while awakening and experiencing my Spirituality in my twenties, and how sure I was that I had found "the" answers, and knew "the" truth. I was rather arrogant in my faith at that tender time in my life, and in that way I can identify with those who I fear, because I know how it feels to be absolutely sure that I'm right.

Understanding this I can now in all humility let that go, realizing I've grown beyond that egotistical need to feel superior through my beliefs, and then feel compassion, and pity, and even love for those who are exploiting the freedom and lives of others to further their own personal beliefs.

So while I do not condone their behavior, and I surely have no long-term solutions to what is going on in the Middle East, I have compassion, and a generalized sense of understanding of how it feels to be a religious zealot and fanatic. And this makes it easier for me to humanize the terrorists, and see them as people who have been indoctrinated, their minds warped by their own religious teachers and mentors, and I can pray for their souls to awaken to love, compassion, and civilized behavior.

In this way I change my own ideas about ISIS, sending out love rather than anger or fear or hate. And in this way I become part of the solution, rather than the problem. Because answering hate with hate is like trying to put out a fire by dumping gasoline on it.

We all have the ability to go within, examine our own motives, understand our own agendas, and see our ego and how it often gets into heated dramatic situations because it simply hates being wrong! And when you identify your ego, learn to laugh at it, and become more capable of gently shutting your ego down when it wants to own the spotlight, then you claim freedom; the freedom to be the Soul and being of Light you are.

So while we may not be able to "fix" the worlds problems, we certainly can contribute in a positive way by praying for humanity, understanding all sides, seeing through compassionate eyes, and answering hate with love. Love is the most valuable asset any of us have, it is our birth right, and it is where we come from, and where we are destined to return to. So when something "outside" of yourself compromises your peace, or your inner love, face it, explore it, identify with it, and then heal it with love, empathy, and self-awareness.

I wish you the utmost Peace & Love, always.

Parenting In the "New Age": Spiritually Sovereign Kids

I look back to when I was pregnant with my daughter 15 years ago, and I have to gently laugh as I remember my expectations back then, my hopes and aspirations for my unborn child. I had a couple of very profound dreams while pregnant with her, and knew I was bringing a very Spiritually alert and aware being into this world. I would daydream about meditating with her, teaching her about the Chakra's, exploring the world with her as she encountered people and places for the first time. I did not for one moment imagine my child would be any different than I was.

As most parents realize as their child begins to talk and walk, I tried to encourage her to participate in her world of imagination, always telling her stories about angels, and fairies, and unseen worlds. In the first five years of her life, she was indeed very connected, and would make very profound statements about angels, people, fairies etc. One day while driving in the car, on a sunny day, she said from her baby seat in the back "Mommy do you see it? It's so pretty!!" and I asked "What honey? What do you see?" I looked in the rear view mirror at her and she was staring out the window, up into the sky, and I thought maybe she saw a plane, as we were near the Toronto International airport. But her response left me speechless; she said "The sun mommy! It has ribbons of light that come down into every persons heart filling them with love!"

This was the type of child she was in the first few years of her life, and I was so eager to continue to nurture and nourish her spirituality as she grew.

So a couple of years ago when she announced to her dad and I that "I'm an atheist" I didn't know how to feel or what to say. How could this child, who was created in so much love, who was so full of wonder, and magic, and so obviously a Crystal child stop believing in magick?

In truth, she's come to accept and admit she is agnostic, as she does believe in "something", but not God, not something sentient, or man made, that makes rules or punishes sinners. And this is exactly where my own beliefs are rooted. And yet I am always walkin within magick, where as my child is completely earth-bound. She does not dwell in her imagination, and at the age of 14 she is so pragmatic, scientific, and sensible. So completely opposite of me!

If someone had told me 15 years ago while I was still pregnant with her that she wouldn't share my spiritual passions I would have snorted in disbelief! How could this being, who has spent 9 months living within me, who has been a part of my soul for all eternity, not share my deeply woven spiritual hunger and passion?

But it's been 15 years, and a lot changes in a decade and a half. I am thrilled that my daughter has developed her own beliefs, and if nothing else I wish to provide her with the space, freedom, and acceptance to continue to cultivate her own beliefs.

You see, we tend to condition our children to share our own faith, which our own parents conditioned us to have. I was very lucky, and I've mentioned it before, that my own mother who was brought up Catholic, gave me the freedom to choose my own path spiritually. She allowed me to attend a Christian church when I was young, and when I walked away from the dogma of Christianity and began to explore Wicca, and Buddhism, she supported that too. In this way, I had the best roll model. My mother taught me that the truest gift we can give our kids, is the opportunity to discover their own spiritual beliefs.

Renée is very like me in so many ways; we share the same twisted dry sense of sarcastic humor, we laugh so loudly and so often together. She is deeply compassionate and a very philosophical thinker, and we can share long discussions about so many topics together. Yet when it comes to my Spiritual beliefs and values, I tend to not "bother" her with them. I know she believes very similarly to me, yet expresses her belief in a very intimate and private way. Where as her mom is public in her Paganism, and blogs about it, and reads Tarot cards for a living, for herself spirituality is a private sanctum within her. One she needn't talk about or examine. And I respect that.

I think this is an important gift any parent can give their own child; the freedom to explore, and discern on their own what feels right to them as individuals with their own minds. When we believe very strongly in something, we tend to indoctrinate our children with it, never really wondering if this is what they would choose for themselves if given the opportunity. Yet how different their beliefs and convictions would be if they came to them on their own, in their own time and way?

I urge all New Age Spiritualists to let their children seek God or Divinity on their own terms. Offer them perspectives, different beliefs, different ideologies, and then let them investigate and come to their own sets of ideals and conclusions. It would have been very easy for me to make Renée into a little clone of me, sharing my beliefs, but I never wanted to enforce my own ideals on her; it has always been imperative to me that I allow her to be her own person, no matter how young she was. She is my child, but she is not my creation; she is her own person, and as such I have always tried to give her the space she needs to develop her own ideas about life, love, spirit, and peace.

There are literally billions of people on this planet who have religious beliefs simply because they were not offered alternatives. Muslims are Muslims and Christians are Christians and they both are such because that is what their parents made them. Had their parents given them the freedom to find God in their own way, I can't help but think there would be far less religion on this planet, and far more Spirituality.

And remember the old cliché; if you love something set it free, if it comes back to you it was meant to be. I think if parents do this with their children's spiritual lives they may be shocked to find their kids end up coming back to the core family values in the end with which they were raised.

Spiritual sovereignty is the greatest gift anyone can give their children - freedom is a precious gift to give! Often if you let your kids explore their own imagination, inner world, conscience and explore the world around them, you'll find them coming to know God in their own intimate way.

Love & Blessings,

Attracting Money & Healing Abundance Blocks

I have been studying Reiki for a few weeks now and have received my Reiki level 1 Certification which is very exciting! I am performing self-healing every day now, working towards my level 2, and am anticipating great things as I begin to work with others, both hands on, and doing distance energy work. As part of my Reiki training I promised myself I would walk through any open doors, and receive any opportunities that were presented to me. So naturally, when I received an invitation to attend an online web seminar (webinar) about increasing your personal wealth through clearing Abundance Blocks, I accepted the invitation and made sure I would be free to watch online.

The webinar was extremely informative and valuable, and though I ended up leaving it before it was completely finished, I gained what I needed, and now would like to share it with you. Why did you leave early though, Dee, you may be asking? Well simply put, after the energy work portion of the webinar ended, the energy shifted as the hostess gave examples of her clients who had succeeded using her program, and as I looked to the website she had provided I saw the "catch"; of course there was a catch! It wasn't anything nefarious, and I am not putting the program she offers down, I just don't personally have an extra thousand dollars sitting around to spend on energy work to help me release my "abundance blocks". However, knowing what I do about energy, chakra's, healing and releasing blocked and stuck energy, I am confident we are all capable of removing these blocks ourselves, and change the way we think, feel, and act about money and wealth and abundance.

So let me share what I have picked up tonight, and also add my own intuitive spin, as I attempt to simplify the process of deprogramming your pre-conceived thoughts and notions about abundance, money, and work. Because let's face it, we've all been programmed and conditioned by our parents, our extended family, society, and experience to believe it is difficult to attract abundance, as well as developing other negative ideas or beliefs about what it "takes" to be financially free.

Let me start by talking about energy, chakra's, and the auric body, just to be sure we're all on the same page.

What Is Energy Work?

First let's understand the Chakra's, which is a sanskrit word meaning 'wheels of light'; these are numerous and plentiful, however many energy workers focus primarily on the first seven chakra's which are connected to the physical body and aura.

The Chakra's are a part of our spiritual body, or etheric soul, and when we are out of spiritual alignment or "center" our Chakra's can become blocked, by negative energy, or become weaker and less stable or productive. When you see an energy healer, such as a Reiki Master, or Shaman etc. they will address these blocks within your energetic body, cleanse them, and heal them so that your spiritual body renews itself with vigor, balance, and love. And as the spiritual body is directly related to our physical body, we can also have blocks arise due to physical illness, injury, or even suffer illness or injury due to a Chakra block or impediment. So hopefully you better understand the Chakra's now, and should you require more information please look here.

Energy workers are intuitive or empathic people who can work with the energy within and around you to help you heal and rebalance your Chakras. The word Reiki simply means "Sacred Life Energy", and a Reiki healer will help you to cleanse any blockages in your Chakra's, and then heal and invigorate them so that they are brightly working in tandem with one another again.

How Do We Get Blocks?

A blockage in your Chakra body is something we all experience, often enough, and its easy to understand how it happens when you begin to see how your energetic body is connected to your physical body. Negative thoughts can cause a blockage in your Chakra's. For example, let's say your significant other broke up with you tonight, out of nowhere, just came to you and said "I don't love you anymore, I'm leaving". How would that make you feel? Betrayed, rejected, hurt, confused to say the least? These feelings can create an energetic block which would then affect your bottom Chakra's, possibly even your throat Chakra if you do not get to express how you feel in response. This block can then sit in your chakra, like an icky black goo or residue, and sort of turn into sludge, which when not healed and acknowledged can fester, and literally cause an energetic block for years, if not your whole life. This can lead to depression, as your energy stops flowing smoothly through your body, and can actually lead to physical illnesses down the road. Everything from your self-esteem, to your perception of the world, to your physical health can suffer due to a blockage in your Chakral system. But clearing and healing your Chakra's is really so very simple, and it's something you can learn to do for yourself!

How Do You Heal Chakra's?

Let's say you're meditating, and thinking about, or visualizing (if you're able to) your Chakra's, and you get a feeling, or smell, or taste or see that there is something just not "quite right" with one of them. What do you do? Stay calm, and ask for healing Light to be sent to the Chakra, so that it may be cleansed, cleared of blocks, and healed. It's truly as simple as that my dear soul.

Using the assistance of a certified energy healer is also very helpful, as often a Reiki practitioner or healer will have the intuitive ability to see deeper into your Chakra's to things you may not be able to detect yourself, and have been trained to work with healing symbols, sounds, and frequencies, in order to help you come back into divine balance.

Close your eyes for a moment, breathing in through your nose, exhaling through your mouth, and think about your Root Chakra. It is red, and it is at the end of your tail bone, or at your pubic bone. If you can't see in your minds eye, then imagine eating something red like a strawberry. Or hearing the wail of a firetruck siren. Anything that helps you get in to the vibration of the color red. Now listen to your intuition as you examine your Root chakra; what do you feel? Do you get any emotional responses, or does your body respond with spasms, jerks, yawns etc. Any kind of response you get is an indication as to the status of that particular Chakra. If your intuition tells you something is "off", then explore it, explore the feelings you have within you about that particular Chakra, if a bad memory surfaces, let it, because your Chakra is showing you what caused the blockage, and then you'll know what you need to acknowledge and release in order to bring that Chakra into alignment and healthy vibrancy. Do this with each of your Chakra's, using the chart above if necessary.

Now I'm going to assume that you're on the same page, and understand your energetic body well enough to continue to the meat and potatoes of this post :)

What Is An Abundance Block?

From the day we are born, we are for lack of a better term "brainwashed" by those around us, or you could say "conditioned", to become who our parents and society believe we should become. We are taught what to believe, how to behave, and how to think. At some point in our early years, we are taught what to believe regarding religion, education, politics etc. Well we are also taught how to feel about money, whether we are aware of it or not. Maybe you grew up hearing daddy complain about how hard he had to work, or your parents bickering about bills, or not being able to afford this, and that.

Abundance Blocks are subconscious barriers we have created in our thinking, which sabotage our ability to create and attract abundance, wealth, prosperity. 

Were you taught that "money is the root of all evil" at some point in your past? Did you grow up seeing rich people as greedy, exploitative? Somewhere in your past, were you imprinted to believe that with money comes great risk, responsibility, and it changes you to become someone unethical or cruel? These are all thinking processes which cause blocks to your abundance abilities. And something which I am myself beginning to understand, and wish to share with you, is that God, the Source, Creator/Universe (whatever you wish to call it) doesn't want us to struggle, or lack, or go without. The Source of Love wants us to experience a rich and diverse life, and to generate our wishes, our dreams, and follow our hearts!

Something I learned years ago, but still do struggle with really truly getting on an energetic level is this: Money is simply an energetic way of saying "thank you" to someone who has helped you in some way, or an energetic way of being thanked for a job well done! It isn't the cornerstone of our being, and shouldn't be the focus, however it isn't evil, or wrong, and having it won't make you into some greedy megalomaniac! One thing the woman in the webinar said tonight that stuck with me was this:

Money doesn't change who you are, "money turns up the volume of who you already are." What she meant was that if you're a kind and generous person, and you all of a sudden come into great wealth, then you're a kind and generous person with the new found ability to share that generosity with others through acts of philanthropy. If you're a miserable person without money, you'll still be a miserable person with it. Money isn't what changes people, it's their thoughts about money that do.

Did you grow up believing you have to work your butt off to achieve any kind of financial freedom? That you'd have to work hard your whole life to hopefully retire and have a few good "golden" years? This is more flawed thinking which we were conditioned to believe in, which contributes to Abundance Blocks.

Let me list a few bullet points that focus on how we become blocked:

• you have to work hard to be a success


• nothing comes easily in this life


• if it seems to good to be true it probably is


• money makes people greedy and un-trusting


• having money is too great a responsibility


• you wouldn't know who truly loves you for you if you had a lot of money


• spiritual people don't need money or things to be happy

These are all cliche's which we have been taught, or conditioned to believe from the day we were born. And who says Spiritual people are less spiritual if they have money? How many beautiful places on this planet can you visit and see if you don't have money? Wouldn't you be better able to enjoy the world our Creator has gifted us with if you had unlimited resources? It is not wrong, or depraved, or greedy or arrogant to want to have unlimited wealth available to you. I'm not saying we should all start trying to manifest millions, so we can all have yachts and summer homes on the Cape; what I am saying is that too many of us think very small thoughts about ourselves, our worth, and our destiny, and it is possible to change the way we think, feel, and heal any blocked energy within our energetic body.

How Can We Change Our Thoughts?

This is where it gets a little tricky, because our thoughts are very deeply ingrained, and culturally enforced. It isn't easy to accept that we are worthy, we are supported, and we deserve abundant happiness, joy, and success. We weren't raised to believe these things! Most of us grew up hearing we had to work hard, study hard, work hard hard hard! And after all that hard work IF you were lucky, maybe you'd be able to retire by age 65 and spend a few relaxing years before you died.

Isn't that fundamentally flawed thinking? Don't you think?

God/Source does love us, each of us, and does want us to create the best, happiest, and most abundant life we can for ourselves. God doesn't want any of us to struggle, or worry, or go without in this life and the reason we end up struggling, worrying, and going without is not because of God, but because of our hardwired thinking, faulty logic, and lack of understanding about who we are in Gods eyes. All life is energetic, we are all intrinsically connected, the water in the oceans, the leaves on the trees, lightning in the skies, comets in the cosmos, all things are all connected via energy; Light. This Light is the eternity of all things, the Source, our Creator. And our Creator wants us to enjoy this experience of being alive!

Repeat after me: My true life purpose includes living abundantly. The Universe wants me to be abundant and happy. It will show me my blocks again and again until I clear them.

By showing your blocks again and again, the Universe will keep delivering you what you believe you deserve; so if you don't think you're worth a significant amount of freedom, joy, relief, and material liberty, then you'll keep struggling. And believe me, I'm right there with you!

I remember the day it happened for me; I mean yes I grew up hearing my own parents moan about money, but there was a pivotal day, when I was maybe 19 years old. I was at work, working late, and the cleaning lady came in to the office. She was an older Italian lady, very cute and sweet, and I loved her accent. We would chit chat frequently, and one day she out of nowhere took my hand, looked at my palm and said very matter of factly "You will never come into money, no no, you will have to work very very hard if you ever want to have money!" At the time I blew the experience off, as we're wont to do.

Yet, all these many years later, her prophecy has rung true. Why is that, do you suppose? Did she see my future? Anybody who knows me as a reader, or as a friend, knows that I don't believe we have one set in stone future, but rather we are creating our reality with each choice we make, moment by moment. So no, I do not believe she saw my future. I believe she saw a possibility, or a probability, or a smudge on my hand (tongue in cheek giggle there folks) and she told me something that I took to heart.

This is an abundance block - and one I can now work on cleansing, and healing. But it won't be as simple as just sending healing energy to my Chakra's, because I will have to change my own thoughts, feelings and beliefs about it.

The woman in the webinar had a really neat way of reprogramming ourselves, and I want to quote her because I just liked it a lot! When I work on overcoming this particular abundance block I'm going to say "I now delete and clear this old thought: across all time dimension space and reality - I invite light in to wash away all those patterns and habits and limits!"

Cute right? I like it, so I'm going to use it, it's simple, and it will help me to see this detrimental thought as a concept I can easily delete - get rid of, like some bad text on my computer - just delete and it's gone!

Here is an exercise we were given in the webinar, try it out yourself, you may find you want to start doing this each day.

Abundance Block Clearing Exercise:

Get into your receptive meditative space now, breathing deeply in through the nose, out through the mouth. Raise your vibration now, to your higher frequency, the one where you're in touch with your divine wisdom.

See, sense, know and allow the Light to enter your crown Chakra, and ask the Light to cleanse your thoughts, feelings and beliefs about lack, limitations, and struggling.

Allow the Light into your eyes, to cleanse your vision, to take away visions of lack, and to give you new clarity about abundance.

Allow the Light into your ears so that you may now receive true wisdom, hear good guidance, and know the way to abundance.

Bring the Light now into your throat, so that you speak your highest Light and Love, and express joy, abundance and bliss!

Now see the Light in your heart, where you can ask it to cleanse any feelings of lack, loss, sorrow, limits.

Draw the Light to your Solar Plexus, where it heals old hurts, frees negative thinking, and lets you know you are always supported.

See the Light move into your Sacral Chakra, removing your fear of being powerless, fear of failure or giving up, and letting you know you deserve and are capable of great things!

Move the Light now to your Root, ridding you of a sense of lack, or inability to step into your power.

Move the Light down your legs, through your feet, into the earth below you, let it move deeper and deeper into the Earth until it's at the core of the Earth where it can be nurtured with mothers Love. Leave the Light rooted there inside Earths protective core, and follow it now back up through the earth, into your feet, legs, back up your spine and out your Heart Chakra where you will now watch it move up and down bathing you in sacred radiating Light in 360 degrees. You are surrounded above and below - by Love, healing Light, as it rises, and expands around you, growing larger and larger, until you are entirely surrounded by this cleansing miraculous Light which heals all of your blocks, and connects you to the truth of the Source, and true unconditional LOVE.

Realize in this space you now hold that you are worthy of every good thing you can conceive of! All of humanity is! You are loved, and unlimited in Gods eyes, and the only limitations you have upon you are the ones you put there yourself, or allowed others to put into place through ignorance and lack of understanding about Love.

Release all negative attachments, and affirm to yourself that: "I am a magnet for positive energy, positive experiences, and abundance! I attract health and wealth and joy and love!" Make this your mantra, as you do this exercise daily, and lets see if we can retrain ourselves, together -- to start receiving the miraculous abundance of the Universes love for us!

Dealing With Specific Blocks:

As you become comfortable with this exercise, you may want to get more specific, because as you go deeper you'll realize these implanted or imprinted thoughts we were forced to believe when we were younger are plentiful! You may discover new blocks each time you meditate, and that's ok, simply clear it, release it, understand where it came from, how you developed it, who in your life taught you to think that way, then bless it and release it and cleanse it.

Money is simply a piece of paper by which we thank each other for goods, services, and acts we perform. When I give a Tarot reading, and accept a payment, I am saying "you're welcome" to the person who is saying "thank you" by handing me a payment. There is no wrong in accepting a payment for work you perform, any more than there is anything wrong in giving someone money for performing a task or service for you!

I'm going to add this to my nightly Reiki routine, to see how I can overcome my own abundance blocks, and I hope you'll add it to your own routine as well! And please do stay connected, and let me know how it's going. Have you been using a technique like this already? Have you got more insight to share? I'd love to hear from you!

I wish you the most abundant life you can live - NOW - Today! In this moment - you deserve all of your dreams to come true, and you deserve to FEEL deserving of all of this and more.

In Great Love,

Post-Super Moon Energy Alert: Let Go, Let God

Since the "Super" full moon a few days ago, the energy around me has been so volatile, and on a higher level I know that we are going through another massive influx of healing energy from the Source - God.

When we receive healing energy it may seem ludicrous that we go through so much turmoil; why would healing energy feel so bad? Why can't we sleep soundly, why so many bizarre dreams? Why are our stomachs so upset, and our heads aching so badly? And why are we feeling so melancholy, and reliving old hurts, and old pains? Healing first must remove old blocks, stuck energies, chakral impediments, in order to fully take place.

So before we can move into the next phase of our spiritual awakening my dear sweet souls, we must first cast off old habits, old feelings and thought processes, and old memories which no longer serve our highest good.

This is incredibly painful for many of us, and any energy update you read at this time will say much the same as what I'm telling you here; this is a time to simply let go, and let God. Drink as much water as you can, removing caffeine and sugar from your intake, so that you may begin to cleanse your organs, which goes so far to cleansing your first three chakras. If you cannot sleep, do not stress, but rather just use the time to meditate, breathing deeply, inviting the healing in, and letting the stuck and painful parts of you blow out with each exhalation. Read, listen to music, watch a movie; do the things that promote a feeling of well being within you, as this will work towards going with the flow of the massive influx of healing energy around you.

It is natural to feel lost, panicked, and depressed during times like this, however if you do not honor the process we are undergoing at this time, you will simply prolong the inevitable; to get through this smoothly, or as smoothly as possible, honor your body, your mind, and your spirit. Listen to your intuition, and when your mind begins to bombard you with worry, or spends too much time in the past or the future, bring yourself back to center, and focus on this moment, right here and now; it is the only truth.

Ascension, or a spiritual awakening, requires us to rise above the lower levels of density we live amid upon this planet, and to raise our frequency in order to be receptive to Spirit, we have to let go of the old heavy energies we once dwelled within. This is painful, and can come with as many physical symptoms as it does emotional and psychological. So, again, and I can't stress this enough, find a place of communion with Spirit now, give thanks for this healing energy, and ask for spiritual strength and support as you detox and heal.

When we break a bone, often it will require re-breaking in order to set it to heal properly in it's right place. Many of our past experiences did not heal properly, and so we must experience a re-visiting of those pains, in order to let the Light of Chi (Life Essence) properly heal the wounds we have carried within and upon our auric and physical bodies. When a bone is broken we put a cast upon it so that it can heal, and at this time while we revisit old pains to let them heal properly, we must put ourselves into a cast of sorts - a bubble of Light, which will act as a protective barrier to the harsh energies all around us.

It isn't the healing energy which is harsh, but rather the response of the billions of people on this planet which creates a sensation of discord, disharmony, and anxiety. Those who are especially sensitive or empathetic to the feelings of others must work dutifully now to shield themselves from the vibrations of others, lest you get swept up in emotions that simply do not belong to you.

I myself am going through a massive purging of pain and trauma from my childhood, and I have been performing Reiki on myself each day, and am assured that this too will pass - assuredly. If you fight the process, you will simply put it off to occur during the next influx of healing, so please, take a deep breath in, know you are loved and valued by the Universe and your Angelic beings and guides, and just let go and give your troubles and burdens to Source.

Do not put down roots in the places your memories go to at this time, if you must relive old pain, it is simply to see it, acknowledge the role it played in your past, and then seeing that it no longer defines you. So pay it attention for a few moments, or hours, and then lay it to rest and move on. I meditated early this morning on my own childhood trauma which was brought up with this healing energy, and visualized myself laying that experience to rest via the violet flame of Archangel Michael. I dowsed the entire memory in violet fire, watched it burn and purify and become pure white Light. I cut cords, and asked Source to help me let this pain go. And now I feel calm. I am aware that I experienced painful traumatic events in my earlier years for reasons I cannot now possibly fathom, and I am okay with that. I trust that I have learned from past violations, and pains, and that these events brought me to this point in my life. I am learning to see that who I am becoming is exactly who I am meant to be, and that I would not be this person had I not been exposed to the harsh realities I lived through in my childhood and early years.

There is no way to explain the pain many of us have gone through, and I won't attempt to wave a magic wand and say it was all perfect and blessed; in truth we have - many of us - lived through hell. But we survived, and there is still hope, and love, and yes - peace - within. Hold on to that, as you watch the holographic memories in your mind, as you relive the pain you have tried so hard to move away from. Know that the past is just an echo, and you will never feel those pains again, unless you choose to.

So too, the future is a figment of the imagination; all there truly is, is this moment. Now. And in this moment all you are required to do is be real, honest, and maintain your center and balance. Feel what comes up, honestly, yet do not anchor yourself in it. If pain arises, express it, and yet let it go; feel it, and yet do not sit down and get cozy with it. Let it go.

As the week goes by the energy will ease, as people begin to feel something like themselves again, and by weeks end we will be feeling more settled again. Between now and then honor yourself, and make sure your most basic needs are being met and fulfilled; food, drink, oxygen, and rest. Make sure you are giving your loved ones all they need from you, including your pets; our four legged companions are especially sensitive to our vibratory shifts, be sure to reassure them with gentle words, cuddles, and love.

Be at peace in this storm, as you can remain within the eye of it, see it rage all around you, or within  you, and yet maintain balance in a place of observation. Do not get sucked into drama, just observe it.

Please share this with your friends and networks, so that no one suffer needlessly during this time of extreme frequency flux.

I will continue to update as the energy shifts and Spirit directs me. Until the next update, I wish you infinite peace, and a well of love within your heart.

A Message To The Abused, & The Abuser

I write now to not only clear my conscience and ease my troubled mind, but to reach out to those who can relate to me, to those who know what it is to be hurt and mistreated by loved ones, and to those who either knowingly or unwittingly are perpetrating pain and violations upon their own children. Innocence is the one truth we are all born with, as we take our first breath on this planet, we rely upon grownups to nurture and care for us, and our first years are spent relying upon our parents, and our family to provide us with the basic needs and foundation for a healthy balanced life. When I posted yesterday about the memory of a molestation in my childhood, I did so to get it out, because the memory was sudden, vivid, and so very painful. But I need you to understand that this one painful act of betrayal was not the only act of cruelty I experienced as a child. I was a ward of the courts in my first four years, was in various foster homes, and was eventually adopted at age four by a couple who were related to my birth mother. My first few years with them was blissful, and a great deal of healing was done as they pampered me, lavished me with love, care, and compassion. Had it not been for those first years of adopted life, I may have fractured mentally, and become someone completely different than who I am today. Yet, as life went on, and the pressures in my parents life became more vivid to them, they both found comfort in the bottle; and my blissful life slowly transformed into a thing of fear and pain. Growing up in a world transformed by addiction, and alcoholism was volatile at best; anyone who grew up with alcoholics knows well how you walk on egg shells, fear the night and what may come, and learn to protect yourself by whatever means possible. For me, I learned to become introverted at home, to hide in my room, to surround myself in music, writing, and the arts. And where others bore it quietly, I never could, and would talk to friends, reaching out again and again, and yet never finding solace. I know my parents never meant to intentionally hurt me, yet the pain created scars I carry to this day. And I beseech you, reading this now, if you are struggling with alcoholism, depression, or addiction on any level, and it is affecting your children, please stop hiding, and get help. Because while you may think you are only hurting yourself, I assure you - you are dead wrong. Children are very sensitive to their parents needs, fears, and insecurities, and while the addict often gets to sleep away the trauma of the night previous, the child wakes up with full recall, and adds another psychic scar to the collection. And that collection  never dulls, never eases, and never allows the child to grow into a fully secure adult themselves. And in this way, the cycle of abuse is ongoing. While I myself do not drink or abuse drugs, I am honest about my depression, and panic disorder, which I have passed down to my beautiful little girl. She is now 14, and has depression and anxiety which rightfully are not hers to bear. And yet, she has always been sensitive to her mother, and unwittingly along the years, I exposed her to too much of my own pain, insecurity, and uncertainty; on some level she absorbed my self doubts, my fears, and they became her own. How do I tell her that these feelings she now struggles with truly are not her own to be burdened by? I simply cannot; she will not understand that by virtue of living with an emotionally raw role model, she learned how to internalize, and punish herself exactly the way her mommy did. She has never been abused, mistreated, or violated in the ways her mom has; and yet she lives with the same pain and sense of loss, and the only way I can explain it is to say that we are so close, so completely entwined via our hearts and souls, that she absorbed my pain at a very young age. If I had known, all those years when I thought she was fast asleep, and I cried quietly to myself or my husband, about things I could not let go of... I never wanted to leave her with this painful legacy. Depression is something I grew up feeling ashamed about. I was identified as depressed in my early teens, forced into psychiatric care, medicated, and labeled. And that was that, those who felt responsible washed their hands, feeling what I suffered was chemical and therefore no-ones fault. Everyone around me put me at arms length, and I learned to struggle quietly, because when I spoke about it I would ultimately end up feeling alienated from the very people I needed to accept and love me. They had caused so much of my turmoil and disconnection from strength, and sovereignty, and on a deep level they knew it, and yet it was just easier I guess, to put me into a program, and tell themselves they were doing all they could. But I am telling you, at the age of 42, I have not healed from those childhood traumas I lived through. I could recount tales of horror, the worst nights of my life, the words that were said that could never be unsaid, the physical abuse, the emotional acts of terrorism... but what would be the point? I relive it often enough in my psyche, in my dreams. And in this way, the victim often continues to victimize themselves, as they cannot find a healthy outlet for all the hurts they accrued growing up. So while you think your children will grow up and forget whatever it is they are experiencing right now, I am here to tell you that no - they will never forget. I have forgiven my parents, and anyone who has ever hurt me. It is easy to forgive, I have no trouble with forgiveness, it is as much for me that I am able to forgive as for those who have violated my innocence and trust. But forgetting is something I've never been able to accomplish. And that is where conditions like depression, panic disorder, and post traumatic stress come into play. If you have a problem, please stop making excuses, and letting your foolish pride convince you that you're doing okay, because you know deep within you that you are not. Get help, now, not tomorrow, or next week, but now, because it isn't your own happiness you are diminishing, but the happiness of the people you love the most on this planet; your children. Sure, you don't mean to hurt them, but good intentions are not equivalent to good behavior, and you know that too many times, you've allowed your own drama become their trauma. So please, for the love of your children's innocence; get help. If you have been abused, in any way, by anyone in your life, please know that it was not your fault. You didn't do anything to deserve abuse; no one on this planet deserves to be hurt, mistreated, or violated. And if you are an abuser, an alcoholic, an addict, and your pain is becoming your children's pain, then I beg of you, start putting their needs ahead of your own and get help, talk to someone, seek a solution. Because you do not have to keep living in this cycle of blame, pain, hiding, and excuses. It won't get any better until you decide to put an end to it, and in this way you have the power to transform your painful reality into a promise of something better for your children. For long after you take your last breath on this planet, they will still be here, trying to make sense of their own feelings, and trying to pick up the pieces of their own fractured childhood. There are only two absolute truths in this life; Fear, and Love. We are always operating from a place of one, or the other. When fear is in charge, pain is prevalent, abundant, and multiplies virulently. The only answer to fear is love; love is the only means we have of absolving our past transgressions, and cleansing the unclean places we hold so tightly within. Choose love, for your children, for yourself, it is truly what you deserve now. No matter how unworthy you may feel, love is what you were born to feel, experience, receive, and be. No matter who taught you to feel otherwise in your past, you must know that now, in this moment, you have the power to be strong, and do the right thing; do what love would do. If you are uncertain as to who to turn to, call your local church, or social services department, and ask to be put in touch with a counselor, or support group. Make the first step, it's the hardest, but I promise you, each step you take after that first one will be easier. Forgiveness begins within, please forgive yourself, so that your children can grow up with some semblance of security, stability, and pride in their parents.  

Abuse: Healing Through Honest Acceptance

I will begin this post with something of a disclaimer, or a warning; the following post will be personal, intimate, painful, and raw. If you are not in a good place energetically, I suggest you stop here.

I am about to share with you a part of me, my childhood, and my life, which is the hardest thing to share, and though I will not go into details, or even name names, it is going to be hard for me to write, and I can only guess how difficult it may be for you to read.

When I was younger, in my teens, I began to drink, and do drugs, as my home life was unbearable. I was growing up in an alcoholic environment, and there was abuse which taught me to run away, avoid, always be one step ahead of calamity. I drank heavily into my mid twenties, until i no longer desired that kind of life, and stopped. Full stop.

And I knew depression, heavy and deep depression, all encompassing pain which would well up inside of me, and bring me to my knees. Every year in the fall I would become sullen, empty, and eventually learned about seasonal depression, and this "explained" my depression.

I knew, from an early age, that somewhere in my past there had been a moment, in which my innocence had been violently stripped from me. I was not sure where it originated, or by whom, but I always knew, somewhere between foster care, adoption, and a life of so little control as a young girl, that someone had violated my innocence and taken something very dear, and indeed sacred to me.

I went through my life avoiding and running away from adversity, and I learned to use food, drugs, and alcohol to numb my pain. Though I eventually turned away from drinking and drugs, food remained my addiction, my source of comfort. I have lived with this addiction since i was about 9 or 10 years old. And now I completely understand why.

I understand everything now; in looking back with true clarity for the first time today, I see how my life all hinged on the axis of this one particular night, when I was so young, when someone who I trusted, who should have been my protector, turned into my molester. One autumn night, timing, and poor choices led to someone I trust hurting me in a way no child ever deserves to be hurt.

The next day, this person knew I was sad, confused, feeling shamed and raw, and they took me to McDonald's to cheer me up. And this was the day I learned how to use food to sooth myself.

I received my level 1 Reiki certification yesterday, and have been performing self-healing on myself for about a week or two now. I knew on some deep level within me that allowing this powerful healing into myself was going to open certain floodgates; memories I have never felt ready for were going to surface. And yet, the faith I have within me was sure that all would happen in it's perfection, and I would be ready.

Today I woke up feeling ill, and supposed it was just another fibromyalgia day. How many days have I lost to the phantom flu-like symptoms of this nervous system disorder? I was prepared to be rendered fairly inadequate for the day, so I showered, took my medication and went to lay down again. And my mind was going back down certain lanes of my memory which I did not feel good about. Any time my mind has traveled those paths, I have fought it, and changed my thoughts, and decided consciously just not to "go there". And it's happened often enough in my life, where I have begun to connect to those memories, and those pains, and have decided that I was not ready, and so closed myself off from it completely.

Yet today, I knew I had to go with it. I said "i am not ready" and yet knew, I could no longer fight my history.

You see, something horrible happened to me when I was too young to know how horrible it truly was, and the next few decades of my life were spent in a cliche attempt to forget, numb the pain, disassociate from it, and try to be happy. But ignoring the past does not change it.

I opened myself to Reiki as I lay in bed, and began to work with my hands, and my chakra's, and began to have flashes of my childhood, good ones, and then confusing ones, and I knew... I knew it was coming, brimming so close to the surface, and so I finally surrendered.

And I remembered. Somebody I loved, indeed still do love very much, made a very selfish and stupid decision, and changed the course of both of our futures that night. This person did something vile to someone who they had sworn to protect, and cherish, and then instead of trying to make the situation right, they did what so many people often do when they disappoint themselves; they fell into a pattern of abuse, neglect, and anger. This person became a heavy drinker, and never let me feel safe around them again. This person transformed over the following years, going from my Knight in shining armor, to my greatest fear; this person punished me, every day from that point on, for their mistake.

I am forty-two years old, remembering a poignantly painful thing which happened over thirty years ago, and in looking back I can now, for the first time ever in my adult life, completely understand who I have become, in light of that violation. After that night, when my innocence was shattered, I began to change, began to become rebellious, depressed, scared, and confused. I was lost. And I have been mostly lost since then. For three more decades; most of the choices I made in my life were spun on the dime of that one petty selfish act.

I continued using food to numb my pain, and learned to punish my self, and my body, for the shame I felt so deeply inside of myself. I always knew, and remembered, so close to the surface of my consciousness what had happened, and yet stuffed it down, not wanting to really truly remember, because I was afraid that if I let the memories in, I would go completely crazy. Literally.

Well I remember, and I am not crazy. I have not fallen apart today. I want you to know, that even though I have remembered who... I am alright. I spoke with my husband for a couple of hours, and he loved me unconditionally through my tears, my recollections, and we talked about now, and moving forward, and healing from this trauma. And I know I am blessed to be loved by this man, who would never hurt me, or our child, or anybody; he is gentle, and kind, and noble. I am thankful that he is in my life, especially now, at this time while this memory surfaces, because his love is a great part of what will help me heal and move on.

I forgive the person who hurt me. Truly; I know it sounds cliche, but I cannot be angry at them. That person led a very empty sad life from that night onward, and punished themselves in ways I could never, and I feel pity, and even compassion for them.

Yet a small part of me, I guess the very human part of me can't help but feel shame, as though this were somehow my fault. I know it couldn't be, I did not ask to be violated, I did not want to be hurt. Yet I can't help but feel just a small amount of guilt, which leads to feelings of being dirty, unworthy, and repugnant.

I guess anyone who has been sexually abused by a trusted adult would understand this feeling.

I know that working with Reiki energy is going to open me up to further pain that I have locked up deeply inside of myself. That's ok, I think I am finally ready at this point in my life, to withstand reliving those pains, in order to free myself. Finally.

Because to be honest, I've really done very little but punish myself since that night. I didn't realize it until today; I have done a lot of things to hurt myself, to compound that pain, because I was so young when it happened, it simply didn't make sense, I felt deeply in my heart I must have done something bad to deserve it. I know this is foolishness of course, but some part of my inner child has lived with that precise guilt for over 30 years - I must have done something horrible to deserve to be hurt in that manner, by a person who I loved so deeply.

So now that I've faced it, acknowledged it, I guess I have no choice but to start accepting it, and letting it go. I am not good at letting go; I have never been good at letting myself off the hook. I am hard on myself, and punish myself so often, never living up to my lofty expectations of myself. And yet, I know I am a good person, a kind and empathetic woman, who tries to help others in ways she has never truly tried to help herself. If I gave myself an ounce of the compassion, guidance, and love that I give my Tarot clients, my spiritual seekers... this has to be the next step; beginning to give to myself what I have with held for so long; forgiveness.

I will have to find a support group, or see a therapist, as this is something I'm going to have to work out on various levels within me. Writing it here is a beginning, a first step, yet I know this pain is so raw inside of me that i will have to administer doses of healing upon it, and if I keep it locked up within me then I am punishing myself, all over again. To hide it is to be ashamed of it, and I've been ashamed for a very long time.

But I didn't ask to be molested. No one does. And while I continued to love my abuser, and can forgive them now, aspects of my inner child need help, guidance, direction regarding how to let this go.

I am thankful to Reiki, and to all who have encouraged me to follow this path in life, I know I have to finally let go of the hurts I've held on to at a cellular level. I am ready to stop punishing myself, for someone else's very poor choice.

I think a lot of us have been violated in this way; by someone we trusted, and we have hurt ourselves because we didn't really understand that it wasn't our fault. And if you can relate to this in some way, then I urge you to do some deep introspecting, meditating, and realizing that this isn't your fault. None of us ever ask to be hurt, abused, misused, molested, beaten, mistreated.

That someone would do so to another person is a sign of their own sickness, and lack of understanding of love. To hold that pain within ourselves, and hold ourselves responsible for the actions of someone else, well it's to basically keep letting that abuse happen, again and again, and again...

Right now, in this moment, I am exhausted, yet relieved. I don't know how I will feel in five minutes, or five days, but in this moment, I am ok.

Senseless Human Suffering: Being A Part of the Solution

There is so much going on in the world around us, it's so easy to get caught up in it all; to be swept away in the currents of society, and the endless parade of pain and loss and fear which is sweeping across the planet at this time.

I turn on the news and I see what is going on in the Middle East and my heart aches, as I think about the innocent lives being lost, wasted, thrown away, and quickly I feel my energy lower itself, and then I become depressed, and begin to operate from a very dense level of consciousness.

This is natural, and to those of us who are extremely empathic it is simply part of our own personal challenge, to remain neutral, centered, and focused on the positive all around ourselves.

I so easily get caught up in my own anguish over what goes on in the world every day, and when I pin point the tragedies and travesties humanity endures I simply feel so desolate and lost. It is so easy to forget that it is our own free will, collectively and individually, which has brought us to this place we currently hold.

And so I remind myself, and hopefully anyone reading this who feels the way I so often feel, that the best thing any of us can do is to stay grounded, centered, and in the moment. When we get caught up in global storms of ego, power, tyranny and cataclysm it simply drains us of our energy, and leads to illness, and despondency. And brooding over that which happens in the world will certainly not change it, will it...

While we may not be able to change the reality others are living in at this time, and that can lead to a great deal of aggression and unresolved anger within ourselves, it is vital that we all remember that we have within our grasps the ability to channel positive energy and thoughts towards those situations and people.

It is possible to be in the storm - watch it rage all around us, and still remain centered, within the eye of the hurricane, so that we can remain rational, compassionate, observant, and accessible to those around us who need us.

I fall into despondency so easily, as I am so extremely empathetic, and literally feel the pain, sorrow, anguish and loss of others. When I watch the news, or read an article about yet another bombing, or downed airplane, or act of terrorism, my throat chakra locks up and tears well in my eyes and I feel so damned helpless, and that is the hardest thing for me to bear; not being able to do anything to help those people on Earth who so desperately need help!

And yet, if I take a moment to breathe, center, focus, and reach higher within myself to a place of wisdom and Light, I realize that I can help, by simply sending my love, my blessings, my ardent prayers and positive energy. My warring ego spits angry venomous thoughts through my mind, raging at these notions, feeling as though it is not enough! And yet my Higher sense of Self assures me that it is all I can do, all many of us can do, and it is worth more than we may at first think.

While thinking positive thoughts, or praying will not feed a hungry child, or stop a gunman from murdering a helpless victim before him, it is better than feeling like a victim ourselves, or slipping into feelings of rage, revenge, polarized notions of an eye for an eye vengeance. When we get lost in the storm and begin to feel whipped this way and that, and lose sight of our own sense of peace and stability, then we become a part of the problem. And none of us want to be a part of the problem.

So while we can't physically become a solution regarding so many of the big pressing heart wrenching issues on Earth, we can maintain equilibrium at home, in our society and community. We can quietly maintain loving compassionate feelings which we can share with those around us, and as ripples on a pond, watch those energies slowly move around the world.

I became so angry earlier yesterday morning, as I read an article about the ceasefire in Gaza not even lasting a whole day, and I saw a woman comment on the article, saying if everyone prayed on their Rosary beads, the war would end. I literally felt like smashing my laptop to bits on the ground, her comment evoked such a visceral sense of raw fury within me, as I envisioned countless do-gooder people praying together to stop genocide, and it made me feel so useless, meaningless, empty.

Yet later, as I thought on it, and I did, as my thoughts kept circulating around the ire I felt within me at this woman's words, I realized I was being part of the problem in that moment. I was sending so much negative and harmful thought energy towards a notion which made me feel helpless. Here this woman had felt so strongly in her own beliefs as a Catholic that she shared a bit of positivity, and I had responded by feeling angry towards her, and her notion, and indeed her entire religion.

That gave me great pause. She was trying to be a solution, in whatever small degree I deemed it to be, and I was not only judging her, but judging humanity in such a negative light. While I do not think billions of people rubbing rosary beads and praying will bring an end to the aggression in the middle east at this time, I also know that belittling that notion is surely as pointless as engaging in the war itself. I felt ashamed of myself.

So I meditated, and I prayed in my own way, and I came full circle back to the place where I always end up, after feeling anger, aggression, and confusion within myself; I came back to Love.

While I cannot hop on a plane, fly to Israel, and physically save the lives of every Jew and Arab engaged in this conflict, I can pray for them, and I can be hopeful for them, and I can look into ways I can help in my community. I can see if the Red Cross has relief efforts I can in some way assist with. I can see if writing politicians will hold any value. I can make efforts to resist this war in a way which does not resist my sense of Self, and Peace.

So I exhaled, and I calmed the raging mama Bear I am deep inside my ego, and I shrugged off my own immense hubris. I am in the eye of the storm again, and I'm sure the winds will whip up around me again in the future, and I'll find myself raging in the storm, feeling thoughts purely negative, detrimental, and pointless again, and when that happens I will again come full circle. It's what I do. It is what we do, as a species - we fumble towards ecstasy.

While prayer, and positive thinking may seem banal and pointless to many, and I can understand too well that feeling of "what are they thinking?!", I also feel and know deep within me, that it is so much more healing to send feelings of love, light, and prayer to those who are suffering on this planet, than to feel pity, apathy, and desolation.

So perhaps you'll join me, in a few silent moments of prayer at this time. Nothing fancy, nothing predetermined, just take a moment, to close your eyes, focus on humanity, and send love to each man, woman and child on Earth right now. Every single one, regardless of age, race, creed, religion, or background. Send love to the terrorists, and the terror-stricken. Send love to those who abuse their power, and those abused by others in power. Send love, and pray for wisdom, serenity, and release from aggression and hatred.

It surely has to be more productive than raging over the injustices in the world.

In Love,

Activate & Cleanse: Root Chakra

Preparing for this less than 10 minute long guided meditation requires just a few key ingredients. 

You will want to:

• Be in a silent, peaceful atmosphere
• Be sitting or laying down, with your feet on the ground
• Have 10 free minutes to breathe, eyes closed, while listening to the soothing voice who leads you
• Be receptive to receiving healing energy

Get your surroundings ready, align your spine while either sitting or laying down with your feet on the ground, and press the "Play" button when you are ready to begin this guided meditative healing session.

I know you want to continue on to the Sacral (Orange) Chakra, but let's end with this session for now. Working with each individual Chakra to begin with is a wonderful way to become familiar with your Auric field, and your wheels of spinning Light.

Continue breathing as you give thanks for the energy just shared with you, and then continue with your day! 

Wishing you a most blessed Now,

Ego & Communication: Lost in Translation

Did you ever try to tell someone something, or share something with someone, and instead of talking about the thing you wanted to talk about you end up having a ridiculous argument which spirals out of control, gets personal, and ends in confusion?

Chances are, ego stepped in and hijacked your discussion.

I talked about this type of issue a bit in the Spiritual High Horse post I made in 2011. The issue addressed there was how often times Spiritualists can let their Spiritual Ego take the lead, unwittingly speaking from a place of delusion instead of simple Love or Peace.

I'd urge you to familiarize yourself with the concepts of the Ego, and the Spiritual Ego, to truly understand our multi-faceted selves, and how we often lie to not only others, but essentially ourselves. 

You see, we are beings who operate on a few different levels, at all times. Our ego is our sense of identity as a Human being. The psyche is the deeper sub-conscious Self that usually expresses itself through dreams, or deep introspection. The Higher Self is your Soul, which you connect to through your Crown Chakra, and is the truest most authentic version of You on a Universal and Spiritual level. The Spiritual Ego is a savvy aspect of our normal ego, and it follows our journey of self-aware Awakening each and every step of the way.

The Ego seeks to protect itself, and all it feels is valuable and essential to it's survival. In this way you can call the Ego the "False Self" as it really is the by-product of the material world, and has been created, and conditioned by the people and culture around it. I talked about Deprogramming the Mind previously, and in essence that pertains to realizing that who we have "become" as a self-aware individual on Earth is largely due to all we've been subjected to, taught, and steered towards by others in our world. You aren't born with an Ego, it is in the formative years that one begins to develop, as "yours" and "mine" becomes crystal clear to a little mind, that is so much like a sponge. We begin to understand that there are certain ways to behave which are "good" and others which are "bad" and as a result our world begins to guide our values, morality, and personality as a result.

But that personality is not who you really are.

You are Light, water, carbon, and energy, and at the core of your creative brilliance is Love. That is what we all share in common - our Souls, which all originate from the same source of Light in the Universe - we are beings of Light and of Love.

But on Earth, our connection to our truth is only accessed through raising our vibration to a higher level, to be able to connect to our Over Soul through an Ascended state of being. Ascension is simply an upwards rise to a higher vibrating frequency. The Soul is brilliant and vibrates at a rate of speed which the lower level density of 3Dimensional reality simply can't accommodate. To be at One with your Higher Self, to receive messages of inspiration, to connect to Divinity you must accept a higher rate of frequency within you.

This can be achieved quite easily through deep breathing (meditation) or peaceful receptivity. Often, when engaged in activity that brings calm and peace, ones energy level raises upwards and we find ourselves feeling the inspired and fertile energy of our Soul. This can happen in Church, or listening to music, while reading, or being in nature. Anything that touches our heart can raise our energy to a higher state of being. And that is where the truth of the Self resides.

But what of the Ego? 

The ego isn't to be feared, or disliked. It is simply to be understood, and then mastered. To master your ego takes lots of time, patience, and detachment. I am nowhere near mastering my ego. It simply swells up at times and takes over and soon enough I find myself completely removed from where I intended to be, because Ego has derailed my plans with it's own hungry, ambitious agenda. Ego loves attention, and Ego loves being right! And I am so guilty of letting my Ego seek it's own glory and validation - often!

This puts a real monkey wrench into my plans when I try to share knowledge or wisdom with another person. My intention is always to help, to illuminate, to lend a helping hand. And usually if I keep my motives in check, and breathe, and keep Spirit vibrating within my intentions I am able to reach others through my words, or my deeds.

But I'm human, as we all are, and from time to time I stick my Ego's foot in my big mouth, and end up making a mess of a well intended idea!

An example of this happened just yesterday, on Facebook (where else?) as I shared a link to an article about a 1500 year old Bible found in Turkey which denies that Jesus was crucified. I have never resonated with the idea that Jesus was anything other than a brilliantly gifted Lightworker, or Prophet. This Bible emphasizes that, demonstrating Jesus as a mortal man, blessed by God, rather than being the son OF God - who was gifted with healing powers, as well as psychic talents, in order to help draw the children of Israel into Unity in a monotheistic (One - God) ideology.

In short, I find this new discovery intriguing, and wanted to share it! Well an acquaintance wasn't pleased with it, got defensive, and ended up unfriending and blocking me!

My immediate reaction was "boy, she must really have shaky faith to let a post on someone else's wall upset her so!"

My secondary reaction was "Boy, I really could have responded to her in a gentler and more patient way..."

I never said anything mean to her, I simply shared my beliefs, but in my often cool analytic delivery I likely caused her to feel alienated.  I felt deflated, and essentially felt a sense of loss, as I realized I'd had an opportunity to really engage this woman, and I'd failed.

And I realized, that yet again Ego had surreptitiously snuck into my responses to her, and I'd let it happen, and I'd lost a chance to have a truly illuminating moment with someone who deep within feels threatened by my rather unconventional beliefs. The weight of this failure sat heavy on my Heart.

You see, while I didn't say anything harmful to her, and I kept my response neutral and clinical in order to approach the topic from a place of pure science and data, I did something I realize I've been doing for a while without realizing it! When it comes to talking to hard core ultra-conservative Christians and Catholics, I get defensive. I expect to be looked at as a Pagan sinner in their eyes. I expect them to abandon reason in sight of their deeply held beliefs. I expect a breach in communication to occur simply because that is what often has happened in my experience.

I myself have been scripting a self-fulfilling prophecy. 

I apologize to every single person who has ever felt alienated by me in a religious discussion. While I may come off as cool headed, and fact based, the truth is, I have trust issues. And that isn't your doing - it is my issue to work through, and resolve.

While it is my highest and most humble desire to share knowledge with others, and help people keep an open mind, I immediately lower my own vibration and intent by putting up a wall and approaching these subjects with defenses in tact.

Because I've been embroiled in religious arguments in the past, I have adopted a very cool calculated sense of communication when it comes to religion - it simply feels safer to be remote, fact based, and rational in this type of scenario. But I do no one any good when I am letting my Ego divert the discussion.

So I accept this lesson, and I'm grateful to have finally figured it out. I don't know how many people I have made feel "less than" in religious discussions, but from this day out I intend to speak from my Heart as much as from my Head where personal beliefs are concerned. I will stop expecting to be misjudged based on my own personal beliefs. And I will stop assuming that every Christian or Catholic I meet is judging me out of the gates for not sharing their beliefs.

Do you see how Ego operates?

This is why it is imperative to be very honest with yourself on a journey of Awakening. Self-awareness is the most necessary ingredient on the table my friend; for if you can't be honest with yourself, then you're lying to everyone.

There is no harm in accepting there are aspects of who we are that are malignant at times. It's not a sign of weakness, or even a sin - we are physical beings on a heavy energy planet, dealing with our various senses of Self in a world where everyone else wants to shape our morality. It's bound to happen from time to time; ego will trick you and you'll never understand that ego is at the wheel - until you're ready to.

Even the best intentions can be laid asunder by a raging Ego.

Let us all attempt to be more honest with ourselves, about who we are, and who we really Are. And then maybe we can come together and communicate from the Heart, while letting down our walls of defense, and just make connections instead of messes.