God vs. Universe

When I think about God, in the Biblical sense, the new age spiritual sense, and the universal sense, I tend to find myself with more and more questions. God as we've designed it just can't sustain a deep sense of peace within me. There are too many variables and inconsistencies for me to believe in God in the way we do on Earth.

The Biblical God is very dual, exhibiting both love and anger, and is far too human in his actions and reactions for me to buy him as anything more than a man-made construct. Most of the Bible is recycled Pagan lore and myth anyway.

The new age spiritual God is too elusive and enigmatic for me to take very seriously as well; this God is never angry and always so loving, like the eternally optimistic hippies who no doubt dreamed it into being.

A Universal God is the closest I can come to accepting an intelligent omnipotence in any way, and even when I try to think of a Universal God-Being the idea is far too emotionally driven to feel "right" within me.

For as long as man has had the ability to look up into the night sky, man has had a yearning to feel accepted and validated by something/one far more superior to us. Why? What creates this insecurity that drives us to cling to the most comfortable or frightful God-Myth we can?

God on the whole makes me anxious, nervous, not quite good enough, and abandoned/rejected at large. I cannot buy into a God concept, and when I do refer to God I am generally using a term people will relate to, but don't in any way mean it in the way most receive it.

To me, "God", is energy - and energy is neither happy nor sad; energy does not punish and reward. The Sun does not shine on us when we're being good, and hide behind clouds when we're misbehaving. Lightning doesn't strike murderers. Flood waters don't wash over the evil incarnate and ebb for the peaceful masses.

Energy is what drives life; it is what created our Universe, our Galaxies, our Solar System, and inevitably our Planet, our bodies, our atomic structures. We are here because of the grace of energy, and long after our physical bodies shrivel up and blow away our energy will continue to roam the Universe.

When I am feeling low, lonely, despondant, all I need to do is look at imagery that the Hubble Space Telescope has captured of the various Nebulae in our Universe. There is more beauty in space than the imagination can even fathom, and when I lose myself in the gaseous colors in a Nebula of newly forming stars I feel the most peaceful and at ease with my "place" in the world.

Look at the Eagle nebula and you'll feel something tug within your heart, something like familiarity, maybe even a sense of melancholy or "home-sickness".

Eagle Nebula

This image is not tampered with, it isn't CGI or art - it is real. This nebula is birthing new stars, new solar systems, and we are but drops in a minute bucket in the life of a nebula. 

Hubble Telescope orbits Earth

The Hubble Telescope is just outside of Earth's Atmosphere, and yet it captures crystal clear images from all over our Universe. I am humbled by the men and women who designed this piece of technological marvel; and the heroic men and women who regularly go into orbit in order to service and maintain the telescope.

The first time I ever saw the Orion Nebula as captured by Hubble, I wept; the feeling of humility and awe was overwhelming, and the sheer size, the colors, the beauty of the gasses and new born stars and galaxies stills my chattering mind. Finally, I can quiet my seeking brain and just settle into a sense of secure peace and tranquillity.

Orion Nebulae - Cradle of Stars

Again, this image is real - there is no tampering involved - this is a trillions by trillions of miles huge Nebula which is literally a nursery for newly forming stars. These stars are in a "cradle" within the deep valley shown above, and the winds whip the chemicals around, the high temperatures molding new stars which thusly begin to form new solar systems. In a billion years these solar systems may be fully formed, with planets revolving round suns, some with atmospheres and conditions to support life. And that knowledge makes me feel small, utterly ridiculous, impotent, and joyful. 

The concept of God makes me feel heavy and judged. And yet these images of our Universe make me feel love deep within me, in a way which transcends the love we feel for each other; this is the love that sits within the seat of the "soul" and requires nothing and no one for it is all it needs - self-sustained and infinite. Love of that calibre is the energy which drives me as a Spiritual person. 

This myth we're living on Earth today creates so much strife, separation and heartache. The "my God is bigger than yours" pissing contest we've been having since the dawn of man is so fear-fueled and childish. You have nearly 7 billion people on this big beautiful planet, who are getting up every day to go to a job which is most likely more about making ends meet than feeling passionate or joyful about a task one is good at. We do this every day, until we're too old or sick to continue, then we slowly wait to die. It's the same all over the earth - we're born, we're indoctrinated into a socially acceptable education system where we are programmed to become cogs in the wheel so that we can move into the world as worker ants to serve those who create the rules; those who write the myths.

And yet, it will all fall away, as civilizations prove through historical accuracy to constantly and consistently do, and one day we will be buried under millions of years of rubble, rock and sediment, and some far off race will unearth a peace of our reality and try to decode us in order to better understand how they could have possibly evolved from such primal beings. And the Nebulae will continue to form and flourish and mystify,  and the Universe will continue to expand, and Stars will be born and die out over and over. And God seems to have little impact on this as far as I'm concerned. 

If this conscious sentient omnipotent being truly existed, don't you think he'd have far better things to do than listen to your prayers for a better job, or that new house, or a cure for your disease? The Universe is immense, we can't even wrap our heads around the sheer size of it - is it possible that it was all created 7-13 thousand years ago by a wrathful moody God? You think God created the absolutely miraculous beauty of our world, our solar system, our Galaxy and Universe, and then took up residence in our heavenly atmosphere in order to punish us for infractions? How could there be infractions - God has said to give us Free Will.

It's all far too contradictory and needy. It's human nature to seek validation; I seek it within. I'm the only living breathing being in existence who really cares how many negative thoughts I have, or how many kind acts I commit per day, or how often I meditate, or smile, or eat, or empty my bladder... no one else cares about my drama the way I do. And if there was a God who did give a rats about my drama, I couldn't buy into it's dogma.

God, or a Great Omnipotent Deity simply doesn't add up to my understanding of the Universe. God is too limited, too closed minded and angst-driven, and can in fact be downright mean. 

No, if I need validation of how foolish my need to be validated is, I'll just look up into the sky.

Rosette Nebulae

Cat's Eye Nebulae

If images of Nebula don't give you the same sense of peace they do for me, perhaps a view of other Solar systems and Galaxies outside of our own, as shared by Hubble. This is just a small portion of space - a minuscule amount of space focused on by Hubble - and yet each bright light is a burning sun at the center of its own Galaxy.

The Deep Field - Northern Detail.

Our Universe makes me feel so small, so insignificant, so un-necessary and at the same time, as a result of this, I feel more peace than I can describe. I don't need to define life or God or perception when I'm gazing into the infinite nature of our Universe, as the sheer size and force of energetic power dwarfs any insecurity I have within my biology.

I am at One with the Universe.

I hope you feel this Oneness too.