Coping with Anxiety & Panic

One of the goals I had in mind when I created this blog was to help people who are endeavoring to live a spiritual life to cope with integration, assimilation and balancing of the spirit with the physical. We are, after all, physical beings living very 3D physical lives, however we experience so much more than just what we can see and touch as we wander through our spiritual journeys.

It doesn't really matter what you believe personally, because my own beliefs are rather broad and universal, and I do believe that what I share is aimed at anyone at all, no matter what beliefs are held. Whether you're Christian, Buddhist, Wiccan or Mormon, I believe we're all compelled by the same basic truth: a connection to Spirit. It doesn't matter what we call spirit, how we address it, whether we're following the teachings of Jesus, or Mohammed, or Ashtar or Cerridwyn; we are all drawn to the beautiful mystery of spirit both within us, and all around us.

I myself have explored and studied many world religions in an attempt to better understand myself in relation to Spirit as I understand it. So while I don't go to church every Sunday, or observe the Sabbats with a coven, I am equally respectful towards all religions, even the ones I see causing damage to the human soul through dogma and conditioning.

This being said, I'd like to touch on various topics and subjects which transcend belief, and touch us as human beings. And one of these things which I'd like to talk about right now is anxiety. You see, no matter how at peace a person is, as long as we reside within the human biology we are all prone to moments of anxiety. Our brains work in sync with the rest of our bodies, and yet the brain is distributing chemicals throughout all of the time, and regulating the glands as such. And at times these regulatory functions are put off kilter, resulting in what is called "chemical imbalance". I see the medical establishment beginning to open it's eyes as a whole, and accept a lot of new age healing modalities and treatments. And yet I still see spiritualists of all belief systems shying away from modern medicine and pharmacology. I believe that everything serves a purpose, so long as it is in moderation, and Western medicine can work wonderfully when coupled with Eastern philosophy and healing artforms.

So what is anxiety?

Anxiety is not to be confused with fear. Fear is a natural response to the unknown or intimidating, and it is something I do talk about, and will talk about more in this blog. However, today I want to explore anxiety. It can result in fear, and certainly can be precipitated by fear, but it is not fear in and of itself. Anxiety is a physical reaction to a fluctuation of bodily chemical dispersal.

Anxiety is something which is becoming ever more prevalent in our society, and I'm not sure if that is due to the foods we eat, or the schedules we keep, or the lack of sleep we get as time speeds up. In fact I'm not sure anyone knows for sure what the cause is of this increase in global anxiety; but it's clear to me that people are experiencing more anxiety as the years go by.

I myself had the usual or "normal" anxiety most of my life, until about 8 years ago when I had my first full blown "panic attack". I suffered panic attacks for two years, and during that time became agoraphobic due to the multitude of stimuli that were my triggers. I was so afraid and victimized by my panic attacks that I literally locked myself in my house for two years and had very little ability to function outside my home on my own.

My anxiety manifested physically in several ways, the most common of them being:

• increased heart rate
• blurred vision
• hyperventilation
• cold sweat
• chest pain
• sense of impending doom

There were also some uncommon symptoms which were very difficult to live with:

• blacking out
• sensation of being sucked out of my body
• a feeling like my brain literally spinning in my skull

After some time I became aware that this wasn't going to go away on it's own, so I sought the advice of my family doctor. I was encouraged to see a psychiatrist who put me on two different medications. And while the medications did help to lessen the symptoms and attacks, they mostly kept me feeling numb. This wasn't adequate for me, so I began to meditate every day, extensively. And this was when I began to feel empowered again, and rediscover my drive and strength.

I meditated every day for upwards of an hour, and eventually found my voice again, and one day walked into my psychiatrists office and essentially "fired" her, as I did not find her useful, empathetic, or even understanding. I found her cold and clinical, and simply telling her this helped me to feel taller, stronger. And eventually I began to wean off of the two anxiety medications I was taking. Within six months of firing my shrink, I was off the medication, and only using one for onset attacks, as needed. The feeling of empowerment was phenomenal. To this day, I keep a prescription filled for my breakthrough medication, just in case, as I know that there will always be anxiety in my life to some degree or another, and not all of it is simple for me to cope with on my own. But I only need to use the medication once every few months now, which is an incredible turn around for me, as once I took it several times a day.

How to cope with Anxiety?

I'd like to recommend a few methods I used to cope with anxiety and panic attacks, some conventional, and some not so much, but all extremely effective for me, and I'm quite sure they'd help others as well.

1. Talk to your doctor. I advise this to anyone who has worrisome or troubling anxiety or panic attacks. It is important to be open to the advice of your doctor, as there are some very helpful medications which are meant to help you regain chemical balance, and you need not be on them long term.
2. Get real with yourself. This is something that takes time, sometimes years to achieve, and indeed something I recommend to everyone. We all have inner fears, and things from our past which live within the subconscious waiting for us to pay attention to them. As children we stuff things down deep inside, and as adults these things may seem small when seen in the light of day, and yet those feelings from childhood can be as intense when a panic attack begins. So you must be willing to be really honest with yourself; about your motivations, agenda, fears, how you treat people, how you view yourself and your life. The Oracle at Delphi said "Know Thyself" and is truly the best advice that you can give and receive, as it is the key to unlocking true peace in your life. Denial is not a useful component in your life, so get real, and be patient with yourself, because this can take some time.
3. Be open about your anxiety. It's important to talk about your panic and anxiety with the people closest to you in your life. They deserve to know how you're feeling, and you deserve this level of honesty from yourself. So let your loved ones and friends know that you're dealing with some anxiety issues, and that you're working on it. Let them know how they can be helpful during this time with you. I was very honest with my husband when I began to understand my panic disorder, and I would tell him what I required from him while I was in panic mode, so he knew how to best care for me, talk to me, and treat me when I would go into a panic attack. 
4. Meditate and relax every day. It's important to make time for yourself, to just be. Meditation is a wonderful tool for everybody, as it helps you to intake more oxygen which is vital to the brain and blood and major organs. When you meditate you naturally begin to breathe more deeply, and this oxygenation will help you to regain equilibrium faster during an attack. Also, avoid natural triggers such as caffeine, nicotine, and other stimulants like alcohol or overly processed (fast) foods. When you treat the body as a temple and nourish it with love and healthy foods and drinks you will find yourself capable of going longer between "episodes" of anxiety. I love taking baths, and the two year period in which panic was ruling my life was a time of many meditations, and baths. I would play relaxing music, light candles, and meditate in the bath; eventually this became my sacred time and space, and I began to look forward to it every evening.
5. Keep everything in perspective. It's so important to remember the "big picture" when you go into panic mode. So create mantras for yourself, or reminders and sayings. For me, it was incredibly helpful to notice I was beginning to have anxiety, to recognize my breathing was more shallow, and I was feeling more edgy. When I would recognize this and saw an attack was coming on, I would automatically begin to breathe deeply, and tell myself things like "I am ok, there is nothing wrong, this will pass". I would remind myself that I was healthy, and whole, and had family and friends who loved me, and that I was a good person worthy of love and compassion. This always helped me to get through an attack much faster.
6. Stop trying to control everything. I have found most people who suffer from anxiety or panic tend towards being control freaks, myself included. So it is a fundamental truth that panic can help you to learn how to trust, and have faith, because people who try to control do not have a deep sense of faith or trust. Let go your need to be in control, see that it is silly, learn that every moment is perfect as it is, and stop expecting so much of yourself and others. Learn to live and let live, and also to appreciate what you have now. Letting go of your need to control will help you to feel at peace with life the way it is.

You see, if we let the panic attack dominate, then we'll end up thinking incredibly self-defeatist thoughts, and end up exacerbating the attack by falling victim to negativity. So you have to be your own nurse, councilor, and guru; you must treat yourself like you would treat your most cherished loved one.

Panic in relation to Awakening and Enlightenment.

I have had so many people contact me through the years, through my websites and forums, saying things like "I've been meditating for years, and now I'm having anxiety, what am I doing wrong?" and I have to address this, because I see it so often. You must know that the road to self-awareness and awakening is going to have it's share of bumps and dead ends my friend. People who consciously decide to embark upon a life of awakening, and spiritual enlightenment learn along the way that we are such multi-faceted beings, and courage is required to really go all the way with this type of lifestyle, in fact the commitment required to really know yourself is all-encompassing. To know yourself you have to face all your dark, all your shadows; you must be willing to look back on everything you've done in your life and see it for what it is, without justifying your mistakes, or disowning them. You have to be ready to admit your faults, your fears, and your delusions. And it is only natural that people who dedicate themselves to this much honesty and authenticity will from time to time have to deal with issues like depression, or anxiety and panic. 

They say ignorance is bliss, and the road to enlightenment is anything but ignorant or blissful, because there will be things we encounter which challenge our belief systems, and rock the very foundation of our sense of self. It's no wonder we don't end up hyperventilating once in a while, as the body assimilates something the mind and spirit are working on understanding!

So cut yourself some slack, and know that there is nothing "wrong" with you. You are human, and we are very sensitive creatures. It is okay to have fear, to feel insecure, to question yourself and your upbringing and the very morals and principles you were raised with. To expect yourself to face all of this without having moments of weakness is an unrealistic expectation.

Know you're not alone, ever. And if things get too heavy for you to deal with at any given time, then it's time to take a break. I've taken breaks through my life, in which I've put away my cards, crystals and runes, and stopped meditating in order to give myself a rest. You can take in too much too fast, and the body will manifest panic in order to let you know it's time to slow down. So listen to your body, and try to understand that these seemingly negative episodes serve a very beautiful and divine purpose.

How else could you truly understand peace unless you first experienced and understood chaos?

I wish you much love, and infinite blessings on your journey.