Developing & Strengthening Your Psychic Abilities

Do you dream in vivid imagery? When you are sleeping, does your mind bloom into technicolor, surround sound, and entertain you while you slumber?

The more vividly you dream, the stronger your capabilities are. And yet, if you don't experience realistic dreams, or question whether you could have latent psychic abilities, let me assure you; we all have psychic abilities!

Every single person with a brain, and more importantly pineal gland, has access to a sixth sense. Call it intuition, higher sight, or clairvoyance, it all comes down to the same thing; the souls ability to see beyond the physical.

Now let me preface this by laying down the laws as it were, regarding psychic ability. Even though we are all born with this ability, we have been convinced and conditioned through the millenia to doubt this belief, mystify it, and otherwise see those as having psychic ability as either in league with the devil, or too special to relate to. Let's dispell the myths before going any further, because as you should know at this point my dear friend, our thoughts do indeed make our reality manifest. If you doubt yourself, and your ability, you will continue to receive reasons to doubt. Do you understand? The Universe is always pumping out more of what you are vibrating; if you're vibrating doubt and insecurity, you will receive further affirmative pushes towards being doubtful and insecure.

So learn to see past the limited reality your world around you has set in stone for you - break free of the perception of other people, and get in touch with your intuition.

Intuition is the first step!

Whether you're spiritual or not most of us believe in intuition. Some call it the inner voice, or the sub-conscious, others believe it to be the voice of God, or guardian Angels. The truth is, these are all accurate depictions of the intuitive process, as it is a deep internal aspect of a Higher more etheric part of the Soul. I encourage you to get intimate with your intuitive process, so that you understand not only how your own intuition works, but also how you respond to it physically, emotionally, and vibrationally.

Those moments of connection, which are beyond denial, like when you think of a friend out of the blue, and a moment later they call you, or you're driving and get the nagging urge to turn down an unexpected road, and as you do you bypass an accident; these things are intuitive nudges which we are all gifted with!

When you think of a song, seemingly out of the blue and then the radio begins to play it, this isn't a coincidence. There is no such thing as coincidence, and your intuition is in fact a facet of your own sixth sense! If you heard the song in your mind before it began to play, you've just exercised Clair-audience, or the ability to 'clearly hear'. If you saw the song, via it's video, or band, you've exercised Clairvoyance, or the ability 'clearly see'. And if you tasted the song, via memories of foods or drinks you associate with the song, or felt it like ripples on your skin, then you've exercised Clair-sentience, or the ability to 'clearly feel'.

I'm a highly visual intuitive, and yet have a deep sense of Clair-sentience as well. And I have had experiences of Clair-audience as well, which is always a shocking and exciting sense to realize. From a very early age I exercised and honed my psychic abilities, as I was nurtured by my mother who also is very psychic, and was free to express and develop my abilities. I didn't face the blocks many of us do in society, and even though I encountered the same conditioning which tells us "psychics aren't real" or "you're imagining it", I knew on a deeper intuitive level that this wasn't the case. And I've always relied very strongly on my intuition.

I urge you to do the same, always.

Realize and actualize that "My intuition is my connection to deep wisdom, and Universal truth."

You may want to journal your experiences with your intuition, in order to see a clear pattern emerging. Or you may just trust that it is unfolding perfectly, as do all things in the bigger picture.

Trust your intuition, knowing it is God gifted, and Divine. And shift your thinking to that of "I am" rather than "I want to"... as this is a way to actualize your reality, instead of pushing away the things you desire. Stating "I am in tune with my psychic awareness" is a far more powerful message to the Universe than saying something like "I really want to heighten my psychic abilities". The message of "I want" is always a message of "I doubt" in the long run, as want signifies something is lacking.

And the truth is, you are not lacking; your psychic abilities are real, and marvelous, and just waiting for you to remember, strengthen, and recognize.

Now, as with all things, it requires dedication, focus, and discipline. You would not decide one day to run a marathon and just go run it, you would train, alter your diet and lifestyle, strengthen your body and your mind, and spend time preparing. Right?

The same is true of anything worth achieving, not the least of which are your God gifted talents and abilities.

So here are a few tips for training to unlock and strengthen your psychic abilities:

• Avoid alcohol as it dehydrates the brain, and switch to clean water, herbal teas, and other drinks that do not contain large amounts of caffeine, sugars, sweeteners etc. The more natural, the better, always.


• Avoid processed foods and unhealthy eating. Treat your body like a temple, as your body is like the processor, which powers the mind, and the mind requires a clean system in order to be able to boot up quickly and efficiently. Know that meat lowers your vibration, eliminating it while striving for awareness is helpful.


• Meditating at least once a day helps get you into the practice of deep breathing which is a key to raising your vibration in order to open your Brow and Crown Chakras, which are paramount in psychic ability.


• Use Crystals and gemstones upon your Chakras to cleanse and unblock your energy centers.


• Reiki treatments can quickly enhance and open your Chakras, propelling your perception of your abilities.


• Believe the Universe is supporting your growth, and know you will receive wisdom as you are ready for it. In this way do not be sad if your skills do not explode to life all at once, Awakening is an ongoing process, and it can take time to unlock your psychic abilities.


• Seek enhancement of your entire spiritual sense of self and well being, as psychic abilities require a certain sense of spiritual ethics, responsibility, and grace; only through striving for Love and Spiritual balance will you be able to unlock the gifts within your soul.

When I was in my teens I spent a lot of time using crystals to help unlock my visions, and have always just known deep within that I would always receive exactly what I was meant to. As such, I have always received my visions thankfully, and then entered times of disconnection, and non-psychic activity with faith as well. With any ability, we will grow to a point, then seem to experience a "time out" of sorts, as the body and mind catch up to the spirit. If you encounter times of lull, or disconnect, know that this is blessed too, and spend the time regenerating, by continuing to meditate, honor your body, and seek inner knowledge.

When you have developed a firm understanding and relationship with your intuition, you may want to flex your psychic abilities with more fervor. You may want to begin to really work at developing your abilities, so here are a few exercises you may want to endeavor upon to strengthen your clairvoyance, sentience, or audience.

• Use flash cards, with symbols for example, and have a friend or loved one "drill" you.


• Have a friend of loved one think of numbers between 1 and 10 to start, and work at receiving what they send you. Work on sending to them as well, as psychic ability isn't just about receiving!


• Sit under the full moon and ask the Mother Goddess to help you open up to Universal messages, signs, visions and truths.


• Ask the trees and plants to communicate with you, and then faithfully listen.


• Work with babies, and toddlers who do not yet use words to communicate, as they are still pristine sources of psychic gifts, and are always communicating via their senses, some of the most powerful psychics you will ever meet are under a year old.


• Pray, and ask the Universe to help you realize what it is you need to do in order to raise your vibration and awareness enough to be in full capacity of your psychic awareness.

I hope you find this a useful starting off point! If you have any questions, or would like to further discuss this, please feel free to comment below, or contact me via the links provided at the top of the page!

With much Love, I wish you clear sight, hearing, and senses,

Mercury in Retrograde: The Under-Appreciated Gift!

You are probably aware at this point in your Awakening of just what it means when Mercury goes retrograde. Each planet experiences retrograde phases from our Earthly perspective, as a retrograde occurs when our vantage of a given planet makes it appear to be either in stasis, or moving backwards for a period of time. Of course, the planet isn't really moving backwards, but from where we are observing, the illusion is realistic. And at these times, each planet brings it's highlighted facets to the fore.

As Mercury is the planet that rules communication and technology, when it is moving forward we can surmise that all things are "smooth sailing" in our lives in regards to dealing with other people, and our technological gadgets. However, when Mercury dances backwards from our point of view (which happens 2-3 times per year) we can experience energetic challenges.

The challenges we all face are fairly understandable, as communication with others amps up to a point where we can become confrontational, misunderstandings abound, arguments and hurt feelings become an annoying norm. We can also experience glitches with technology, ranging from computer issues, to electric in the home, car or any other device which uses energy to operate.

In the early stages of a spiritual Awakening, it is very tempting to vilify Mercury in retrograde, as the challenges which accompany it are often just too much to cope with. It is one of those things you hear that make you groan audibly, as you realize "oh sh*.... Mercury is about to go retrograde again!" It's too tempting to hibernate, avoid legal issues, stay away from people who usually push your buttons in the best of times. And yet, it becomes clear as we gain self-awareness that this period of stagnation offers up a rich treasure trove of healing potential.

So the first thing I urge you to do is become familiar with the retrograde dates each year, in advance, and mark them on your calendar. Forewarned is forearmed as they say, and knowledge truly is power. This year Mercury is retrograde from:

• January 21 – February 11


• May 19 – June 11


• September 17 – October 9

You'll note that we are currently midway our January retrograde at the time of this entry, and it's no coincidence, as I find the reminder timely for not just my readers and clients, but also myself.

After you make note of the upcoming retrograde periods of Mercury for your personal knowledge, you will then want to approach the astrological occurrence from a more intellectual perspective, which requires a slight adjustment to your thinking; in other words it's time to exercise objective non-attached open-mindedness.

The Challenges in a Mercury Retrograde

Let's bullet this out so we can be clear and simple.

• Communication breakdown


• Legal issues & setbacks


• Confrontational energy


• Self-awareness in blurry vision


• Technology glitches and hiccups

You can see how these five issues can cause people to generally want to avoid other human beings, as when the energy around us seems to support random arguments, nastiness, closed mindedness and hostile judgmentality, it's just a bummer to have to not only observe it in others, but also feel sucked in to it ourselves.

And yet, I urge you to see this as a time of the year to look forward to, as it is chock-full of opportunities to get really really real.

The Opportunity Present

Let me bullet these points to coincide with the challenges listed above.

• Can break out of old patterns of hyper-sensitivity, over-reaction, egotistical drama-centered self-delusion


• Learn to pay closer attention to legal matters, dot i's, cross t's, and learn when to let go of the need to be in control.


• Learning when to choose ones battles


• Opportunity to clearly see oneself, in all shades of positive and negative, in order to truly grow beyond conditioning and previous limitations


• A chance to step away from technology and simplify life for a few weeks at a time.

We do not receive energetic challenges from the Universe to cause us pressure, or pain; the Universe is simply answering our own subconscious desires to awaken, to rise above petty 3D illusions, and to become whole love-centered beings of compassion and peace. We cannot truly know peace until we fully understand what removes peace from our state of being.

You understand duality, and know that life on Earth is an ongoing exercise in polar opposites, which is designed to help us find center, and learn to release attachment to extremes. So these opportunities Mercury provides us with three times a year to experience friction in communication and relationships truly are a gift from the Heavens!!

When things are going smoothly in life, we can become complacent, lazy, and stop challenging ourselves to be truer, more authentic beings. So when the hot fiery planet Mercury stands still then moves backwards we are truly being given an opportunity to look in the mirror, identify our own ego and it's need to be right, at the cost of being love, and then take measures to grow beyond the newly identified self-knowledge.

This is a gift, isn't it!

So here are a few tips I have compiled from personal experience through the years, to help prepare for and experience Mercury retro periods, while facing ourselves fully and honestly, and appreciating the individual journey we are all on in life.

• Be now-focused - dwelling in the past or future at this time is counter-productive, stay rooted in the NOW


• BREATHE - this is a must at every moment of every day of every year. Oxygenate your brain, it is simple biology


• Think before speaking; this is also a must for every day of the year, however at these times it is a MUST


• Practice the "golden rule" with every single person you encounter


• Use mantra's to help yourself stay mindful, focused, and compassionate. For example "I am peaceful & loving and there is nothing anyone can say or do to change the truth of who I Am"


• Go slowly, with your words, deeds, thoughts, and also physically - put one foot in front of the other, and be watchful and observant


• Set your ducks in a row - if the car is overdue for an oil change, get it done. If you haven't run a virus program on your computer, get it done. If you have unpaid parking tickets, pay them. Don't break the law to avoid unwanted legal headaches


• Remember to take none of this too seriously! Life is meant to be enjoyed, if you aren't having any fun then it's time to BREATHE (remember that - all ways) and regroup, re-think, re-prioritize, and return to a NOW focused state of gratitude, love, and peace

Consider Mercury in retrograde as a gift from God and the Universe to you; the gift may itch, not be the right size, you may want to return it, but the truth is the thought behind the gift is truly what counts. And the thought behind the uncomfortable gift is simple this: Dig deeper, be authentic, rise above petty 3D ego squabbles, remember you are LOVED and LOVE.

I honor and love the Spirit within you, and myself. And as such I will endeavor to speak love and patience, and breathe deeply in each moment, so that when we are communicating I truly listen to your words, body language and energy. And should we start to clash, instead of blaming you or what you said or implied, I will investigate MY OWN behavior, reactions, attachments, and feelings.

When I am responsible for ME and you are responsible for YOU, then we are free to be US without fear of drama, manipulation, abuse, neglect, or abandonment.

I wish you a stellar remainder of the retrograde! I hope you rise to your own truth and beauty, and surpass your own dreams and expectations.

Peace IS Within You

We are creatures of habit and conformity by nature; often we are willing to take someone else's word for the truth over investigating and seeking our own perception first. It is easy to allow others to create reality, so that we must only be responsible for conforming to it.

Yet this is part of the illusion which mankind lives within; we are on the planet of Free Will and Polarity. As souls we have come here to experiment with matter, three dimensional causality, denseness and the concepts and realities of this vs that. It is here on Earth that we can encounter all flavors of duality, good and bad, happy and sad, up and down, sick and well. And we are free to explore these counter parts to our hearts delight... or our fears peril.

Through the ages we have slowly made movements towards fear, and balled up within our sense of isolation in the skin and begun to feel removed of Spirit, and of God. So we created religions by which we could put God away and upwards of ourselves, detached, removed, and fearful. We so fully forgot our very nature as Gods most animate aspects of Universal light and vibration, that we actually have convinced ourselves and much of our planet to be afraid of God, or doubt God exists, or worship a God that is so like we are in his judgment, violence, instability and irrationality.  We have created God in our own image and likeness, and yet we project our greatest fears on to him. Just look to the events in the world at this time, to see the truth of this.

But the Greater truth? It lives within you. And reading these words is meant to remind you of what is true and real and transcendent within you.

Enlightenment isn't the end of a journey, it is a state of awareness, which is infinite, and ongoing, and we strive for it eternally whether we realize it or not. It is encoded into our DNA, to seek, better the self, improve ones standing, reach higher. It is part of our human condition, and our souls condition as well; to raise ones sense of personal awareness to achieve a state of not dominion, or power, but grace over all surroundings. You can seek enlightenment in virtually any venue you can conceive of it, and I guarantee you, it is available to you everywhere, at every time. The greater your struggle, the closer to hand your enlightenment is. The harder your circumstances, the lower you feel or fall, the worse life seems to be, these are the moments where you are closer to your own self-aware salvation than you could know. It is in moments of adversity, when the pendulum of duality pivots on the negative, that we are capable of great things.

You know this, it is apparent in the entire world around you, every time there is a mass event or act of tyranny or cataclysm or upheaval, people band together in brotherhood, compassion, generosity and strength. This is because we are truly closer to who we are when we are pressed against the rail. And yet we are still running under the condition in which we are lesser than, not worthy of, removed from Gods Glory and Divinity.

And the truth of the matter is none of us are less than, or not worthy of, or removed of Gods greatness. I'm not talking about a god that lives in the minds of fearful men, casting doubt, making rules, setting limitations upon his deliverance. I am talking about the creative energy of the whole Universe which has created all life, and is available in each particle of space and time and matter and non-matter which IS in existence. The Creator, or Source of all things, which we are made of, and therefore which we are a part of.

And yet I do not want to get sidetracked, for I'm not posting to talk about God at this time; what I want to talk about is your relationship to the God energy, and how it affects you, and how you affect your reality as a result.

When you close your eyes, and breathe deeply, and feel the calm slip into your limbs and torso, and feel the soothing waves of peace vibrate within you, you will find the Source of all things flows within you, makes up your matter and your biology, and courses through your veins. As you focus on nothing more than love and gratitude, so that these feelings are rolling off of you in waves, you will be able to feel the rebound of those waves of love and gratitude, and this is the Source, God, returning to you what is truly yours at all times - Love and gratitude - the essence of true peace.

Instead of praying to some outside or external source, try to seek the source within yourself, and be patient, and yet faithful. Know that what you seek is real and valid and needs no certification or seal of approval from someone else. Know when you breathe deeply feeling love and abundant joyful gratitude, and it returns to you in waves that undulate down your body, that you are in communion with God, the Universe, all of creation.

There is never anything to fear, no matter how much your human responses urge you to at times. Part of the intrinsic nature of duality is to learn to understand our own biology, in order to truly comprehend what is and what is not. Anything that elicits the fear response in you is not real in the grandest scheme of things. Fear is a feeling that our body enhances with hormones and chemicals, and when these biological sensors go into overload we can get lost in negativity. And yet, you can be mindful, and self-aware, and remember to breathe, and when a crisis arises, or something scary happens, you can remind yourself that nothing will be accomplished by getting washed away in images or feelings of fear, high drama, ego, or over-reaction. There will always be things in our lives which will challenge us, hurt us, push our limits, and yet this isn't a punishment, or a test even; it is simply the game board on which we are choosing to play right now. In the impermanent word of physical duality, nothing lasts for ever, everything is relative to how we are feeling and perceiving, and the only thing that truly matters is how you choose to respond, feel, think, and behave in any given moment.

When you know this, understand it, accept it as truth, then you relinquish your need to feel victimized by any one, or any thing. Ever.

You have within you the seeds of creation, the love of the ages, the vibrant buoyant nature of your energetic self, and the ability to grow, learn, evolve and rise up again and again. The only being in creation that can thwart your happiness, security, faith, or resolve... is you.

So get up out of your own way my friend. Smile. Exhale. Then inhale again, deeply. Always - breathing deeply, oxygenating your brain, allowing yourself to clearly think, observe, understand, and perceive. In this mind-state, you will know that no matter what comes your way, you have at some level of reality and manifestation called it to you for an opportunity to overcome it, and you have the full backing of the Universe to do just that.

So, don't let others continue to draw out the game plan for you, step out of the box and into a place that has no room for labels, or need for categorization. You don't need to ascribe to an ism or ology in order to be at One with the source of all Life - there is no rule book, or place of worship outside of your own body, mind, spirit and sense of intuition and awareness. Every single thing you need to know, you already do - awaken it within you. It is there waiting for the command to blossom.

Breathe, let go... and receive Truth and Love.

Living Like Nature: Just A SAD Rant

I am on a different wavelength these days, as my SADS kicks into high gear, and I find myself feeling at odds within myself. The last few years have really kicked my ass emotionally, and physically, what with the two major back surgeries I had, the changes those made in my life physically and financially, the effort my family has had to make to stay strong, be creative, supportive... it's been rough on my husband and daughter, and it's been hellish on me.

I find myself questioning many things in my life these days, and it's not surprising as the Christmas holidays usually bring out the worst in me. I do not like the holidays, what they represent, how I see the entire North American continent begin to spend more money, try to keep up with societal pressures, in order to create some picturesque holiday to share on social media via pictures and anecdotes. It's exhausting to me, as I just don't share those beliefs, ideals, or desires. I don't want to live in a world where we are all sinners supplecating ourselves to a higher power who judges us based on how like Him we are trying to be. And I don't want this post to come off as an insult to Christianity, god knows I am in no place to judge anyone. I like the idea of Jesus, he seems like the most loving and compassionate being this planet has ever known, and I would love to be like him, and see others being like him. But it's not who we are; people are just downright selfish in my estimation. It's human nature to be selfish, and I say this with complete honesty and as much humility as I can muster at 5:45am. We have survival instincts which drive us forward, and in order to survive we must navigate society in the "right" ways, in order to avoid alienation, disconnection, isolation etc.

But I think to the animal kingdom, and my heart aches, because I see very clearly in my own understanding where humanity went "wrong" so to speak along our own evolutionary path. If you can indulge me for a few moments, try to understand that I have utmost respect for nature, and as a basis of my spiritual beliefs, I think nature is the perfect mirror to creation or God as we can possibly get while living in a 3 dimensional reality. Nature doesn't try, nature simply is. And this is how we could or should be too, were we not so busy trying to be everything else.

I love the animals on this planet, and relate very closely to bears. Bears are relatively isolated creatures, who are fierce mothers, and yet when not nurturing young, they are lone, and wild, and follow their own instincts to survive every day. They spend half the year sluggish during the winter months, then spend six months trying to find enough food to fatten up in order to hibernate again during the following winter months. As a result, Bears live very much in the now - in the moment. Each day, whether nurturing cubs or not, bears simply wander their habitat looking for sustenance. In between feeding they nap, play, cavort, explore. And this is natural for them, they do not try to store food they cannot eat immediately; they eat what they can and move on. They roam the lands, following migratory patterns of prey, and following deeply ingrained instincts while they follow their own biological need to mate, feed, birth, and rest.

Man was once like this too, hundreds of thousands of years ago. We dwelt in small clans, moving around following migratory patterns of our own prey, and each day we spent surviving. There was no need to collect more food than we could eat that day, kill animals for any reason other than to eat. We did not try to dominate the land, but rather we lived within the parameters of our own ability to survive reasonably on a day to day basis. We lived in unity with nature as a result.

Now, we have fridges and freezers full of food we don't need right away, have cupboards full of food that is so chemically treated to keep it lasting long that we subject ourselves to physical illnesses, diseases, simply because it's "easier" to have these foods than get what we need on a daily basis. Our lives revolve around having more; more food, more money, more clothes, more luxury items, more play things... it's tiring. I'm tired of this game of "more" we are playing.

In my kitchen there are foods that provide zero nutritional properties. And we eat them because they are easy to prepare. And then we wash our hair and bodies in chemically treated animal tested items in order to have shinier hair, whiter teeth. Civilized humans are all but consumed by fitting in, making life easy, and living the "dream", but to me it is a nightmare.

I day dream about nature, the trees, plants, mosses and fungus, and I think how beautiful it would be to have that kind of faith; the faith that makes it possible to bloom and grow despite effort or desires. Nature doesn't contemplate how to grow quicker, or bigger, or how to have more nutrients by which to do so. Nature just blooms, grows, withers, and dies. And the cycle goes round and round, and it's all so very...organic.

I guess that is where I am right now; desiring a more organic life. I am overweight, diseased, disabled, and distraught, depressed, and downright dejected. I have all the modern comforts a person could ask for, a nice home, two cars, lots of food, games, toys, shiny trinkets and keep sakes. And yet something is sorely lacking from my life, an internal faith, that goes beyond spirit, god, or universe... a faith in my own biological nature. I have lost my ability to trust my own process of growth, blooming and blossoming, withering and dying...

Does this make sense to you? I do not feel in sync with nature, by virtue of my own ridiculous need to understand my nature. Human beings are prone to thinking, which can be downright problematic at times. I think back to my youth, hours spent sunbathing at the beach, never wondering how the sun may damage my skin, and it didn't. I'd swim after eating, never worrying about cramps, and they never happened. I would sleep a couple hours, get up and have a full day of activity, and never once felt spent. And this is how we are when we are young; we just follow our biology and don't question it, and therefore it doesn't deplete. Yet we get older and these things fall to the wayside as we learn about drudgery. And drudgery becomes the new natural order of things, which is so completely unnatural really. But we do it; we all do it, we grow up, get older, expect less, and become complacent. And soon we're middle aged, contemplating the things we did wrong, the things we wish we'd done differently, and wondering if we can do anything right before our little snippet of time here on this planet is done?

My journey of spiritual awakening and self-awareness has brought me to many beautiful epiphanies and moments of sublime understanding. And yet, at the vantage point from which I observe my life now, I can see far more damage which I've done to myself as a result of trying to better understand myself in relation to life, the Universe, and god. In trying to be a better person, I lost all those beautiful youthful complexities which made me a vibrant source of energy. I spend more time contemplating my behavior, and how I affect my surroundings than is healthy, and hold myself to higher expectations that I do anyone else. Why? Why should I expect myself to be any more enlightened, kinder, gentler, or smarter than any other human being? Because I've spent so many years learning about human nature, I should somehow be less inclined to exhibit it?

I'm tired. Tired of trying to be the bigger person, the better person, tired of trying to do "right" all the time. I just want to be. But when I give myself permission to simply be who I am, it seems someones toes get stepped on.

And it just brings me back to bears *gentle smile*. Bears don't worry about anyone, or anything, other than the simple moment they are living in. Just like every other living creature in the animal kingdom; the current moment is the only reality. Why have we as human beings tried to extricate ourselves from that very natural state of being, and spent lifetimes acquiring things, by which to feel secure by? Security is an illusion, one which the modern world is quickly waking up to, and people are beginning to really understand that freedom is something we do not truly afford one another, as we are all so busy trying to get our piece of the proverbial pie.

I know, this is a very cynical outlook, and yet I don't see it as simply as that; it is a natural outlook, nature isn't all warm and fluffy, in order to survive, other creatures must die, prey needs to feed predator, and that is the simplest fact of nature that there is. There is no matter of fairness in nature, in order to live, creatures must kill, and they don't waste time worrying about the inequity of it. They do what their biology urges them to do, just as they have for millions of years.

Yet I make a trip to the freezer for an ice cream bar and struggle with a two hour session of guilt over my inability to control my insatiable desire for junk food.

*sigh*

If you're still following me, I applaud you. This rant may indeed serve no point other than to allow me to vent my own frustration at myself, for being a human creature of insurmountable inconsistency and hypocrisy.

I sit on my recliner couch, using my laptop while my big screen tv is on mute, in my big comfy apartment, full of nice things, and feel myself brimming with unhappiness, which is just so childish really, and yet I can't get past the blues I feel, because a part of me is just so damned dissatisfied with who I am. Who I am is a human being, one who has spent a better part of a lifetime trying to be a "good" human being. And yet, at almost 43 years of age, I am no better at this than I ever was.

So I will keep looking to the animal kingdom for guidance. Until such a time as I can try to just accept myself as I am, I will maybe try to be more like a mother bear, and worry less about how I am affecting my surroundings, and just muddle on, day to day, need by need, hunger by hunger. Any less time spent contemplating my self, my thoughts, my motivation could surely be spent doing something more productive, like napping.

Do NOT Accept or Tolerate: RACISM

When my family tuned into the news a week ago, and watched the rioting begin to escalate in Ferguson Missouri, we were awe struck at the sheer audacity of the entire situation. The verdict was given during the day, and yet for some unknown reason the powers that be opted to wait to announce that Michael Browns murderer would walk free of all charges at 9pm at night EST.

Two days before the verdict was given, the armed forces were called in, and a full riot squad stood outside the courthouse for upwards of 48 hours in anticipation.

Why? Have you stopped to ask yourself this? The authorities, state, military and police all knew the threat of emotional reaction, and further rioting were a reality should Officer Darren Wilson not be indicted on charges of murder. They were aware enough to have the national guard standing guard, aware enough to have riot gear, tanks, tear gas, and dozens of officers at the ready. And yet, for whatever preposterous reason, the verdict was not given until the sun had set on Ferguson. Had they announced it earlier that day, or waited until the following morning, it may have been much easier to quell riots by the light of day. It was as if the authorities were preparing for a full out riot, willingly, if not encouraging it outright.

If that was the case, why? The only answer one can possibly surmise is that any bad press against the black residents of Ferguson would serve to take the focus off of the verdict itself, and place the worlds focus on the very people mourning the death of the 18 year old man, instead of the outrageous reality that his killer was walking free.

I watched as the atmosphere on social media began to get very stormy, and was disgusted at the sheer number of racist tweets being broadcast as a result. I have always known racism is alive and well in North America, but it didn't fully hit me until I saw just how disgustingly ignorant people can be when it comes to skin color. Many of these people asked twitter "why do you people have to make it about race?" when the reality is the entire incident was entirely about race. Had Michael Brown been a Caucasian man, would he still be alive? We have no way to truly know, but there is enough speculation worldwide based on real numerical statistics coming out of Ferguson, Missouri, and the United States, to indicate that when faced with shooting a suspect or criminal, police are much more inclined to shoot first, and ask questions later when the perpetrator is a black male. Of course it was about race, as the black community in Ferguson became outraged at the unnecessary death of a young 18 year old man over a liquor store theft.

Further shocking to me, was the amount of tweets coming from twitter, indeed still being circulated, stating that "you commit a crime, you deserve to get shot". Again, had the perpetrator been a white male I don't think those people would be as quick to condemn.

It galls to know that in 2014 racism is not only still thriving in North America, but that it is still denied, lied about, and taught to our young. Political correctness is the worse thing we have undertaken as a civilized society globally, teaching us to turn our insults into veiled tongue in cheek jibes. As long as you word something the right way, all bets are off. We are taught to be "tolerant" or "accepting" and that truly pisses me off in ways I cannot describe and maintain any modicum of decor. If we don't trust or like someone because their skin is brown, and brown people are historically prone to violence, or drugs, or gang activity, or terrorism, or WHATEVER - then we must learn to accept them and tolerate them?

Give me a break!

I am very much against social tolerance and acceptance, it is an insidious lie, perpetrated by politicians, who know how to say all the wrong things in all the right ways. Since when do we let politicians dictate our moral compass, or expound upon the proper way to communicate? Politicians are by and large paid to be very savvy liars. Politicians have made billions off of the campaigning between Republicans and Democrats in the USA, and there is no middle ground anymore. You have a country of hundreds of millions of people who are either left, or right, and nary the twain shall agree or meet. It is disgusting - entire beliefs, ideals, morals, and behaviors are split down the middle, until neighbors no longer get along due to political differences.

When did live and let live become a part of our historical rear window view?

I do not tolerate black people. I do not accept Iraqi's. I will never TRY to accept or tolerate anyone. Who the hell am I to look down on someone, anyone, in the long run? I do try to walk a mile, use my empathy, and understand people who are different from me. Those differences are not skin deep, and are very much based on behavior and attitude. If you are cruel, bigoted, violent, or crass chances are I'm not going to trust you very much. I may even "write you off" if you're in the extreme. However I will most certainly try to see you in a bigger way, remembering you are someones child, someones love, someones parent, someones friend. Your skin color doesn't mean anything to me. And it shouldn't to anyone else.

I'm sick to death of racism, and racists. I know quite a few racist people, all of them are white. All of them have no higher than a high school education. All of them tend to be closed minded, if not somewhat selfish, lacking in culture or class, and for the most part, they are ignorant by nature. This isn't to say they aren't nice people. Some of them are my friends. But they know if they are going to make racist comments within my earshot they are going to have to back those comments up with facts, statistics, knowledge. None of them ever can. It usually boils down to "i used to live _____ and there were so many _____ there and all they ever did was ______."

Generalized bullshit based on smallworld experiences that equal nothing in the grand scheme of things.

I urge, encourage, and challenge you to stop accepting or tolerating other people. It is the most detrimental thing we can learn, or teach our children. I don't want you to be tolerant of black people, Muslims, homosexuals, transgenders, Catholics, Atheists, Mentally challenged people... etc etc etc. Do not be tolerant of people who are different than you; do not be accepting of them. Be HUMAN WITH them. Because there is NO difference between you, and any other single solitary human being on this planet.

We are all born the same way, we all have parents, family, we all go to school and are indoctrinated by our culture to become the people we become. We are taught to value this, and reject that, we are expected to live in accordance with the society and culture we are born into. And whether that culture is Islamic, or gangs, or religious cults, or wealthy snobby country club members, or tropical islanders... we are all people. We all love, and are loved, we all have our own personal challenges, skeletons in our closets, bad habits, fears, and insecurities.

And if you're judging anyone else based on your view of how they live, I suggest you take a good long hard look in the mirror, because you must have been raised by some very ignorant people, and you'll want to get a little mind expanding knowledge into your life, lest you become just another played out stereotype.

No, do not accept or tolerate anyone, acceptance is best used to deal with life experiences. I am overweight, it is an insecurity, yet I accept myself as I am. THAT is what acceptance is for - to learn to live with something that otherwise brings you down. Tolerance should only apply to things like food, drink; I don't tolerate wine very well, it gives me a headache. I have a low tolerance for ignorant people. I have a high pain tolerance.

The only way to break the cycle of racism in North America is to be honest and open about it. What is going on in Ferguson, and in other States as people protest the verdict, and the murder of Michael Brown is a huge step towards shining a light on a problem that is NOT GOING AWAY. It is only through making it very clear to every single person possible that racism is a problem, one that needs dealing with, that we will begin to actually teach people to stop being so closed minded, ignorant, foolish, judgmental, and ill mannered.

I applaud anyone peacefully protesting. I understand those who got violent, and the frustration and anger and fear that caused them to go to extremes. I cannot even imagine what it must be like to be a second class citizen. I was born white in Canada, my life hasn't had a lot of hardship or struggle. But I will openly and honestly say that yes - I see the struggle people of different races are undertaking, and whether you're Asian, Hispanic, Black, Indian... there are all these stupid political correct platitudes "my" people use to put you down, and make it seem cute. It's everywhere on tv, in the media, the stereotypes, the generalizations.

So I am making my stand, here and now. My line in the sand is drawn. I will not tolerate or accept your racism North America. I will stand up to it every time it rears it's ugly poorly educated head.

And I urge all free thinking Spiritualists to do the same. We cannot attain global unity until we do away with these harmful divides we have built up between ourselves. Those divides have become mile high walls. And it's time to knock them the @#^& down!

Loving & Accepting Negative People

Why is it that some days we are so patient, and able to weather anything that comes our way, and then other days it just seems like every thing people say is like nails on a chalkboard... we're just irritable for no understandable reason?

The short answer is self-awareness: when you are less aware of who you are, how you're behaving, and what you're about in the moment, it's easy to slip into a narrow scope of mind, and become fixated on feeling crappy.

The old cliché tells us not only to not sweat the small stuff, but also reminds that in the end it's all small stuff. And this is honestly true of life friends; there is really nothing so huge or horrible that requires our anger, snarkiness, or panties to get all bunched up. But we forget this from time to time, and our skin seems so thin we can barely tolerate our loved ones.

We all have bad days, we're human and it's natural to experience moments of utter agitation. But it's so important to realize and know that when you're in that frame of mind you are only hurting yourself. You're wasting your precious time dwelling on bad feelings, negative mindsets, and pointless judgment.

What About Chronic Pessimists?

We all know people who seem to be addicted to negativity, confrontation, argument, judgment, and know how exhausting it can be to try to meet these people with any amount of positive thought or happiness. Yet we all owe it to ourselves and our fellow humans to try to be part of the solution, as opposed to the problem. If you have a chronic negative thinker in your life and find it drags you down, or stresses you out, then it's time to do some deep soul searching. Some new age rhetoric schools of thought would have you think that these people need to be left behind, ignored, phased out of your life, because they will only bring you down. This is new age escapism at best, judgmental on a spiritual level, and accomplishes nothing. If you remove negative people from your life, you'll end up alone, because again, it is human to feel crappy at times!

I think instead of putting negative people out of your life, it's more productive to try to meet them in a middle ground, where you can be empathetic, supportive, and try to set a positive example for them. You then challenge yourself to remain upbeat and optimistic despite their griping, and perhaps can even come to value the importance of remaining detached and emotionally balanced. We aren't meant to alienate others because they think or behave differently than us; I believe we can build bridges, and perhaps help the chronic pessimist find some new ways to think, perceive, and approach life.

This isn't to say we bash our negative friends' and their habits, because that would be putting conditions upon your friendship or relationship, which is also pointless. Rather, try to accept them as they are, while remaining true to your own desire to be a positive force in your own life.

Some ways to remain friends with negative people, while honoring your own spiritual imperatives are:

• Knowing when to respond, and when to just smile and nod


• Interject reasonable amounts of positivity into the relationship without trying to modify their behavior


• Being honest with them about how tiring their defensiveness or anger can be


• Setting up boundaries, limiting contact to casual light hearted meetings ie: meeting for coffee


• Realizing they are perceiving the world in a different way than you, and being that negative is also exhausting for them. Be empathetic, realize how hard it must be to be negative, angry, suspicious, defensive etc


• Know when you've had enough, and honor your own needs.

Too much exposure to negative people can be contagious, so it's important that you recognize your own limitations, and learn when to walk away for a breather. I find you can over time bring your loved one to a sense of understanding without really addressing the issue directly; when they broach subjects that get them into that negative mind set - change the subject. If they incessantly want to complain, bash people, or whine about their life simply redirect their thinking by changing the subject. And if that doesn't work, just be honest and say "you know what, I really am not comfortable talking about this."

There is no need to avoid or separate yourself from negative people, or drama queens, or angry folks. You can love them, appreciate them, learn about yourself through them, and define your own ideals about happiness and positive thinking through looking at how they behave as opposed to how you would behave in their situation.

At the end of the day, you'll have a relationship that while maybe not entirely emotionally nourishing, will still be a two way motion; you accepting them as they are, and them knowing on some internal level that you care enough about them to not engage their anger or negativity.

And you never know, perhaps you'll rub off on them and end up helping them attain a more level headed, middle of the road state of mind along the way. This shouldn't be your directive, because again that would be you wanting to change the person; but if it happens organically then you've contributed to the well being of someone you care for.

We know as spiritualists and self-aware seekers of truth that a negative attitude is like a snowball rolling down a hill; it gathers momentum on it's own and gets bigger and heavier as it goes. So be a ramp to those people, so their snowball of pessimistic thinking takes flight while you're with them, and perhaps lightens their load.

Above all else, if you are determined to remain in relationships with negative people, remind yourself as often as you need to not to sweat the small stuff --  there is nothing so all encompassing in life that needs you to feel badly, suspicious, negative, or judgmental about. The world has enough heavy feelings in it already, we can shine a light in the dark by being a voice of upliftment, positivity, joy, and laughter.

Keep it light - life isn't that serious, unless you make it so.

Bullying: We Are All Responsible

This is a topic which is current, vital, and needs to be explored worldwide, as bullying is something which is becoming epidemic amongst our children, and indeed there is no age limit to bullying. To better understand the meaning of the word bully, it helps to first understand where the word and concept began.

When searching the etymology of the word, you find the following history of the word:

bully (n.) 1530s, originally "sweetheart," applied to either sex, from Dutch boel "lover; brother," probably a diminutive of Middle Dutch broeder "brother" (compare Middle High Germanbuole "brother," source of German Buhle "lover;" see brother (n.)).

Meaning deteriorated 17c. through "fine fellow" and "blusterer" to "harasser of the weak" (1680s, from bully-ruffian, 1650s). Perhaps this was by influence of bull (n.1), but a connecting sense between "lover" and "ruffian" may be in "protector of a prostitute," which was one sense of bully (though not specifically attested until 1706). The expression meaning "worthy, jolly, admirable" (especially in 1864 U.S. slang bully for you!) is first attested 1680s, and preserves an earlier, positive sense of the word.

source: Online Etymology Dictionary

You can see the word was originally a positive one, finding it's roots in love relationships, then evolving to mean a "fine fellow". Then, somewhere in the 17th century it shifted to become a "blusterer", and then "harasser of the weak".

Today we all know a bully is someone who picks on people who are weaker, younger, smaller than themselves. Bullying has become such a big problem in our schools, with our children and teenagers, and it has become such a frightfully big issue that now bullies don't just rely upon their words to scare others, or their fists and threats, now bullying includes knives, weapons, groups of tough kids mistreating smaller kids, and even in the extreme at times, including guns and firearms.

Why is it, that in 2014, when we are such a "civilized" society who are self-aware, understand the psyche, and psychology of what makes a person operate or "tick", are we now seeing such an eruption of violence and negative behavior in our kids?

The answer to me is so simple; they have learned this behavior from us, the elders, and in the last twenty years our mentality in North America has become so split due to political correctness, and our striving for "rights", that discipline has become a concept which no longer is cut and dry in our society.

When I grew up as a child in the 70's, and 80's, my parents had the "right" to discipline me as they saw fit. Depending on what I had done, my parents had the freedom and right as parents to ground me, govern my time and leisure activities, and when it was deemed necessary, they could spank me. These spankings seldom hurt my bottom as much as they did my pride, and truth be told while I do not support violence of any kind for any reason, the occasional swat on the backside got my attention, and helped me determine just how far I would push my parents as I just didn't enjoy being degraded in that way.

Now a days, parents are forbidden to spank their children, and there are so many help lines, groups, advocates and social structures set up that if a parent does spank their child, they can face legal recourse, and even have their children removed from their custody to be put into foster care!

I'm not saying bully's need a good spanking, or that it would even accomplish anything, what I am saying is that if parents had the freedom to discipline their children from an early age, maybe those kids would grow up with a better sense of right and wrong. Maybe those kids would think twice before pushing the boundaries out of reach if their parents had the right to teach them from a very young age that some behavior simply won't be tolerated.

This is just one aspect of what is a huge global problem though; parents know they are being watched, monitored and do not have the freedom to parent their kids the way they themselves were parented, and that can be a part of the problem. But it's only a small part of it.

Children Learn Behavior

When a child acts out, at early ages the parents either support or thwart that kind of behavior. Some parents believe their kids are just being kids, while others try to teach their children boundaries and limits. And yet the medical establishment does so much damage during these formative years by labeling these kids as having ADHD, and put them on medication, when in truth they are likely just very active kids who aren't being physically stimulated enough. Kids are now faced with a world where both parents must work to make ends meet, and often they are left in the care of the easiest baby sitter there is; the television. Kids don't spend nearly enough time outdoors playing, and exhausting their massive stores of energy. And then when they act out, or can't pay attention, or are fidgety we medicate them to make them easier to cope with, complacent, and simpler to deal with. We are medicating our children because they aren't active enough, and these medications are meant to dull the child's perception, make them calm, quiet, still. Are children supposed to be quiet little creatures who sit quietly and still for hours at a time? They are kids! They are meant to run wild, climb trees, explore their surroundings, use their imagination to play games, and above all else - be active, and curious and full of zeal!

It's just easier for parents to give their kids pills to calm them down, when in truth, most of the kids on these medications would be best served by going outside and playing.

Our civilization requires both parents to work, which is exhausting for a family unit. You take mom and dad out of their home, make them work 8-12 hours a day, 5-6 days a week, and when they get home they want to unwind and relax, yet the house has demands too, keeping it clean, keeping clothing laundered, family fed, there is no end in this time in our society to the things parents need to get done in order to simply keep the house running somewhat smoothly. So the tv gets turned on, or the video game systems, or movies, and kids are expected to stay indoors and behave themselves, while parents try to get all of their tasks completed, and what you have at the end of a week is a couple who need a vacation, and a child or children who are so bored, desensitized, and under-stimulated that the entire household is off kilter.

Parents are tired, dad may have a few too many beers to unwind, mom may become snarky as she just so badly wants to unwind but there is no end to the chores, work, and routine! So you end up with a child who sees his parents less than he sees his teachers, who isn't getting much exercise, proper sleep, nutrition, and you can do the math to figure out where this leads to.

If that child is seeing his parents snap, argue, abuse alcohol or drugs, chances are the child is going to learn to behave that way too. And this is one way a bully may arise.

Bullies Are Insecure

You don't become a bully because you're wonderful, and strong, and self-assured. You become a bully because you need to protect yourself, so you act preemptively, making sure you are in control of your own life by being on the offense rather than the defense. I'm sure many bullies are being bullied themselves, in some way in their life. Maybe mom or dad are angry, and treating the child badly, be it through physical, emotional, or mental abuse. In any event, bullies at the core are very insecure people, who do what they do because deep down within themselves they are not secure in who they are, and they are not at peace in their role in life. Bullies begin at early ages, on the playground, needing to be the loudest, the strongest, and the one with the most respect, they learn that they can make smaller weaker kids bend to their will by virtue of their words, their fists, and their cruel behavior. If this behavior goes unchecked by parents and care givers, then the bully grows up with the knowledge that they can control their own reality by using aggression and even violence as a means to stay in charge.

If this behavior is never addressed, the child becomes a teenager who has no concept of discipline or consequences, and then they become an adult who will in turn teach their own child that aggressive hostile behavior is how to get things accomplished.

How Do We Deal With Bullies?

This is the age old question; is there a way to handle a bully without ending up a target of their anger? My own daughter has been facing bullying in the past month since starting high-school. Her bullies are from a different school, who share her school bus. It began on day one of school, as this group of boys began making sexual comments towards her, to which her response was to tell them where to go, in not-so ladylike ways. She was not comfortable with how they were objectifying her and talking to and about her, so she put out a boundary immediately by telling them where to go.

The result was cliché, as these boys saw immediately how to push her buttons, and saw the fun in targeting her. As a group, they began to harass her daily on the bus, and the next week they threatened to beat her up the moment she got off the bus. The bus driver did not let her off the bus, and they stood there waiting for her to get off so they could beat her up. My husband and I rushed to the bus once the bus company contacted us, and my husband went after the kids, as they ran away. We confronted the bullies, myself, my husband, and our daughter. And I attempted to talk to them, relate to them, humanize ourselves to them, so they would recognize that our child has family, loved ones, and has a right to ride the bus in peace, just like them.

This didn't thwart them. The behavior continued. So I opted to get the schools, and the school board involved. Since then the threats escalated at first, as these boys were now threatening not only physical violence, but also sexual violence. And yet we did not back down. We stood up to these bullies, and even now they are still facing consequences as the school board has removed some of them from the bus temporarily, some of them permanently, and their parents have all been informed. They are being watched closely now, and it is becoming clear to them that their behavior is not okay, will not be permitted to continue, and they will face severe and harsher penalties should it continue.

In short, the way to deal with a bully is to not back down. EVER.

Bullies rely upon the weakness of their prey. They derive their power from the tears of their victim, they feel stronger and empowered each time a victim backs down, and slinks away. And yet the bully only gets stronger, meaner, and more dangerous. So it is up to the adults in our communities to deal with them.

We Are All Responsible!

Remember the old adage, "It takes a village to raise a child"? This is true - we must band together as adults, as parents, and as members of our societies, to make sure our neighborhoods and streets are safe for all children, and all people. Bullies need to know that no one is going to idly sit by and watch while they terrorize people by virtue of their out of control behavior.

And it is so imperative that as the adults, we also remember that bullies are created, and to keep in mind that at the core of these out of control kids is insecurity, and a lack of love and security. We must lead by example, and put down clear boundaries. If you see children or young adults mistreating anyone, you must speak up. It is so detrimental to turn the other cheek to aggressive behavior in our world. Just because it isn't happening directly to you or your loved ones is not an excuse to ignore bullying behavior!

If you see it - do something about it!

Our kids are living in scary times, the world is all lit up with technology, and now they face things we never even could conceive of at their age; cyber bullying, online thugs, violence and weapons in schools, these are things which are indicative of the state of our kids - they need rules, they need structure, and they need to learn morals and values lest they become adults who trod over everyone around them, carrying that bullying mentality into the world of business, and passing that behavior on to their own children.

It is not okay - and it is up to each and every one of us as freethinking intelligent people to take a stand, and clearly state through our actions and responses to the world that we will not tolerate bullying of any type, any longer.

I am sickened when I hear about children being beaten by other children, or of the all too often stabbings now in schools, kids with guns, kids beating the crap out of other kids.

Do you know why my daughter was targeted by the bullies on her bus? Because of the school she goes to. That was it - the reason. I asked the ring leader very pointedly "Why have you chosen to single her out? What about her makes you want to harass her?" his response was "She goes to **** and that is a school for faggots and queers!"

This boy has said very pointedly that he would like to beat my daughter, rape my daughter, degrade and humiliate my daughter, and all because he thinks her school is for homosexuals...

Something is very wrong. It is very wrong that I had to go to the lengths I've had to in order to see my daughter safe on her own bus. It is very wrong that her bullying was minimized by an adult mother of four children who works for student transportation. It is very wrong that the solution this woman offered us was to take my daughter off the bus and put her on another one. So the bullies get to stay on their bus and chase my child off? No - this is not adequate, proper behavior, and it is why I reached out to the board of education itself.

Make a fuss my friends, speak out, advocate for anti-bullying campaigns. Get involved in your community, speak up when you see bullying behavior, do not allow this to continue. It is up to each and every one of as us adults, as open minded heart oriented people, to draw a line in the proverbial sand and say "NO! This is not acceptable!"

And please, talk to your children. Be willing to see them without bias, and if you see that they have bullying tendencies please do not ignore this! Address it with them, talk to them, and if you need help, ask for help! Please do not let your children become adults who act like bullies, it is a disservice to them, and to society. If your child is being bullied do not ignore the situation! Fight for their rights, show them that they can stand up for themselves, and ask for help - teach them to go to teachers, authority figures, in order to report bullying and put an end to their own victimization!

If you're still reading and stuck with me through this entire entry, I thank you. This is a subject which has never been on the fore in my mind, as we've never faced it. Yet now that it's happened to my child I find myself wanting to become very vocal, and very involved. I want victims of bullying to know that it isn't their fault, and they don't need to continue living in fear! And I want bullies to know that they must change their behavior, or their lives will be fraught with adversity, as it is just not okay to treat others like garbage.

Let's get involved, and take back our kids' rights and freedoms, by making sure bullies do not prevail!

Being a True Empath: We FEEL...

We're all familiar with empathy; it's the ability to put ones self in someone else's position, imagine how they are feeling, identify with what they're experiencing, so that we can better understand them. Empathy is something most people are born with, it's an innate ability we all have, like the sense of smell, or a conscience. A few people in society have no sense of empathy, and these people are typically categorized as Narcissists, or in the worst case, Sociopaths. I wouldn't want to live without empathy, I can only feel that it would be a very narrow view of the world, worrying only about yourself, not caring about how other people feel.

Empathy is a beautiful trait and it helps us to put ourselves in someone else's shoes; empathy creates bridges of understanding through helping us to see beyond our own feelings, and allowing ourselves to get a sense of how someone else is truly feeling, being, and operating.

What I want to discuss here is not typical empathy. I know we're all familiar with empathy; what I want to talk about is being a true Empath. The term is not recognized in a literal sense by the dictionary, and in fact my first experiences of hearing the word came from watching Star Trek, TNG, through the character of Deana Troi. Yes, I'm going to appeal to your inner geek now, so bear with me as I indulge a little of my own Treki roots.  Troi, an alien being from another planet, works on the ship as the ships counselor, and her gift of true empathy allows her to not only imagine what another person feels, but to rather literally take on those feelings, so that she is actually experiencing and feeling what another is feeling.

I have met many empaths in my life, and we are all by and large the same type of people; we are vastly sensitive, often emotionally charged and passionate in our expressions of those emotions. We tend to be introverts at many points in our lives, as we can find large groups of people daunting. While society would deem us anti-social, in truth we are just hiding from the onslaught of emotional intensity around us, because we haven't yet learned to detach, and identify what is "our own", as opposed to what others are exuding.

Our lives seem to rotate around difficult experiences, which while experiencing them can feel so frightening, intense, overwhelming and unfair, but in retrospect we can all see that what ever we have endured, has been an opportunity for us to learn how to better live with our empathy in a balanced and unattached way.

How Does it Feel to be an Empath?

As a spiritualist, I generally avoid trying to speak for others. But when it comes to being an Empath, I know I can speak for all other Empaths in regards to how it feels to be so in tune with the energetic emotional frequencies of other people.

The short and simple is, if asked how it feels to be an Empath, my answer is: I feel.

Please understand that when I say I feel, I literally mean it. I don't simply imagine how another feels, I feel how they feel. Sometimes the extent of this feeling is so profound that I can get washed away in the other persons plight, becoming physically and psychologically reactive to how they are feeling. If a dear friend or loved one is hurt by someone else, I not only feel the pain they feel, the confusion, the chaos of sweeping between betrayal, sorrow, rejection, confusion, I also take that upon myself as it then becomes part of my reality. I am no longer sad for my friend, or sad with my friend, I am sad as though the pain my friend is experiencing is my own.

This is a beautiful gift much of the time; being able to put ones self directly into the reality of another person, so that you completely understand exactly how they feel, on multiple levels of emotions, physiology, psychology. And yet it can also seem and feel like a curse to Empaths, when dealing with feelings others display that relate to anger, rage, hatred, bigotry, depression etc.

The excessively negative emotions of people can be a real drain on an Empath. Many of us tend to become skillful athletes in light of this bombardment of the negativity of others, and skillfully learn to run from those situations. It can at times seem as though we are having a tantrum, or being chickens, as we just duck out completely and disown the situation, knowing we are about to be compelled into a turbulent emotional conflagration that we don't have control over. And that in truth is the crux of it; we don't have control over it, as we have not mastered detachment, and differentiation between what is "mine" versus what is "theirs".

Learning to detach is a lesson that often takes years, decades. It requires an Empath to acknowledge that they are not sufficiently handling the emotional onslaught around them.  The Empath needs to recognize that they are becoming emotionally volatile or fragile, and that they are not seeing clearly, as they are not centered. And then each day there after requires the Empath to be determined, self-aware, while being aware of external situations, people, experiences, and watching for signs that they are being "sucked into" the drama of others.

How Do You Know?

If having read this far you're not sure if you're an Empath, or not, let me clarify in great depth so that you'll really understand what an Empath experiences. I will work through analogy if I can, though as you may know I am pretty bad at that kind of parallel story-weaving. Just be patient with me, I will get there ;)

Imagine you are sitting in an empty room, on a chair. Then the door opens and in walks someone you know, someone who is very central and important in your life, and imagine they are angry. Imagine the rage rolling off them, their eyes blazing, chest heaving in anger, body twitching with agitation. Typical empathy has you stand up and ask "What's wrong??"

A true Empath begins to feel angry immediately, as their blood pressure rises, their breathing accelerates, the feel their chest tighten and their throat close into a lump. Instead of getting up and asking "Whats wrong?" the deeply attuned Empath doesn't need to ask what's wrong, they know everything is wrong. They feel it, the rage is now engulfing them too, their body has responded to the emotional download they're receiving, and now they are agitated, amped up, and being passionate and often irrational they burst from their seat, go to their loved one in a protective attempt to shelter them, and demand to know "What happened!"

On an energetic level, the Empath feels the feelings of others in waves of undulating warmth, heat, coolness and pressure as it rises within the body. It is actually rising in the spiritual Auric body, the chakras, yet it is felt vividly on the skin, in the organs, through the lungs, chest, throat, and head. The Empath does not care at this point about who or how or why as they are already embroiled in the rage coming off their loved one, they bypass the desire to know what is wrong, and hear what has led to this; they are already prepared to act, jump to action, without the facts, as they are feeling exactly as their loved one is feeling.

If you feel with that kind of intensity, depth, vastness and often uncontrolled turbulence, then you are an Empath too. If you can watch a movie, and not just cry because it was a beautiful movie, but actually feel as though you have lived the experience of the characters, identify so closely with them and their stories that you now feel as though it's a part of your own history and truth, then you are an Empath.

And if you are a true Empath, let me first give you a big energetic hug, feel my warmth, as I take you in my arms and cradle your head in my hand, and whisper into your ear "it's going to be okay..."

Learning To Detach and Center

Let me start by saying I am still working on this, daily, in earnest, as my deep empathy can still after 42 years of life drag me so deeply into the experience of others that I "lose" myself. But I work at it, daily, consciously, because I know that most of the things I feel aren't really coming from me. I know myself enough to know that who I am, when emptied of the feelings of all others, is fairly quiet, peaceful, and content. When I still myself, ground out, find center, and remove the heavy weight of energy I've absorbed during the day or week, I re-connect with who I really am.

And you can do this too my sweet sweet friend.

It begins with self-aware accountability. You must be willing in this moment to acknowledge that there is a small part of you that has somehow become "addicted" to your empathic receptivity. You have learned to become a hero to those around you, a problem solver, a "go-to" for all your friends and family, as they know when they come to you for understanding, they're going to get it, and a whole lot more! They will get validation, support, sympathy, and encouragement from someone who truly "gets them". This has either taught you to feel good when helping others through your ability to feel as they feel, or has taught you to avoid others and become isolated as it's just easier, or safer for you.

From one Empath to another, I want to tell you it can get better, but first you have to get over yourself, literally my friend, because you've taken on far too much from others, have been a fixer and manager and co-partner to too many others, and have likely spent more time focusing on "them" than on you. That is not a healthy way to live, and when you hit a low, you'll know exactly what I'm talking about, because us true Empaths hit the lows often enough. How do you expect yourself to keep taking on more and more and more of the heavy emotional energy of others, without becoming overloaded, and eventually cracking under pressure?? So just recognize it now, see it as a part of your cycle, and know you can change it. Yes - you can change your self.

It begins with those acknowledgements, and then it continues with determined self-aware observation.

How Does Observing Help??

If the oath of the Empath is "I feel", then the oath of the balanced Empath is "I observe".

As I often tell my clients, and friends and family, being an Empath is like being in a hurricane. The storm is the emotions of everyone around us in the world. Those emotions rage, spin out of control, create havoc and can lead to ruin. And yet, the Empath can choose to step into the eye of the storm. The eye of the storm is the calm center, and from this place of center, you can look in all directions and observe the storm, and yet remain calm within the neutrality of observational detachment, and not get blown away.

Get familiar with finding the eye - or "Center". Center is essential to human beings, no matter who they are, if they're Empaths, spiritualists or not. Center is balance. And when balanced in our own Center, we can see the storms raging around us in the world, and feel for them, care compassionately, and yet stay calm, think rationally, accept that some people are creating the storm on their own and do not need your help in making it rage harder.

So Empath, my sweet too-deeply feeling soul-kin, I urge you to find your own center, and each day as you wake, make it a point to affirm that "today I will observe, and breathe, and not react without first being neutral, sensible, and unattached to the feelings of all others."

This will be an ongoing lesson in your life, as you cannot expect yourself to change overnight. I have been consciously working at Empathy detachment for about 15 years now. Some days are better than others. Some days I forget, and get embroiled in the drama around me, or create enough of my own to get lost in. And yet the next day I can wake with clarity and review yesterdays behaviors, see how I let my Empathy get tossed around in the storm, own it, be accountable for my own part in it, then strive towards again finding Center, neutrality, and focusing on what is "mine", and only "mine".

Use your Empathy in positive ways, to help others find affirmation, hope, direction, and resolve. Do not use your Empathy to feel sorry for others, or help them add bricks to their wall of shame. Practise this, every day, in every way, and if you fall down, get back up dust yourself off, and continue on without a need or desire to put yourself down.

I am an Empath; I feel. Intensely, deeply, vividly, painfully, blissfully, wholly and fully. And I wish you the most blessed of experiences with your own Empathy. As always, I am here to talk to you, should you wish to talk about this further, or just need a friend.

What Would Love Do? Changing Your Reactions

Over the years that I've been reading Tarot for clients, and assisting people with self-awareness and awakening, one issue has kept resurfacing again and again; almost everyone I've ever had the pleasure to work with has wanted to know, "How do I attain peace, and stop getting sucked into drama in life?"

It's a subject we all grapple with in life, no matter if you are spiritual, religious, or an atheist; how do we simply disconnect from the drama all around us and just live in peaceful calm?

It seems like an insurmountable obstacle at first, and to be honest it does take time; lots of time, because people are easily swept away in the emotions of others around them, and human beings operate under a rather "gang mentality", we tend to get extremely embroiled by the events occurring around us and can find ourselves over reacting to any number of big, or small circumstances. But it is this over-reactionary type of behavior that robs one of peace, and magnifies problems making them more than they truly are.

The first step anyone will want to make when consciously deciding to be a peaceful person, is to assert to yourself that you have some very bad habits which need to be broken, and corrected. Negative thinking, and jumping to conclusions are indeed habits, and ones which only intensify if we let them. We weren't born with so many hot button opinions, or red flag issues that can "set us off", we develop these attitudes and mindsets as we grow, and watch and mimic others in our life behaving as they do. If you grew up with loud boisterous parents and family, chances are you're loud and boisterous yourself, and this isn't a bad thing, it's simply part of your "conditioning". So in deciding to make peace your touchstone, you have to commit to the idea that you have some behavioral and thinking habits which just don't reflect who you want to be. It isn't about feeling ashamed of who you are, or how you react to life's experiences, it is simply getting into the head-space of being self aware.

Make a list, as often writing these things down helps us better understand who we are, and on that list write down the attitudes and behaviors you feel you lack control or discipline over, which you would like to change. For me personally, my list has changed a lot through the years, as I continue to look more deeply at who I am, in comparison to who I'd like to be. My list would look something like:

• Let anxiety or fear determine how I feel about a situation before I have all the facts.


• Often let fear express itself as anger.


• Don't always listen intently to others, as I'm so eager to state my own feelings and thoughts.

My list would go on, and on and on, but let's cap it off there for starters. When you've written down your list of behaviors, and attitudes or bad habits you feel you want to change but struggle with, then commit it to memory, because this is where transformation truly begins.

What Would Love Do?

Whenever I'm faced with an issue or situation in which I feel my negative behaviors and reactions bubbling to the surface I find it imperative to stop and do a couple key things first:

• First and foremost I breathe - deeply - when you stop breathing you limit your brains ability to be the vital thinking and analysis machine it is.


• I then take a few moments while breathing deeply and ask myself "What would love do?"

Love simply radiates peace and calm, and it is easy to feel love while we are in a peaceful environment, yet when life throws a curve it is so easy to lose sight of Love, and get caught up in strong emotions. So as soon as something occurs which challenges your peace, like someone confronts you, or you are treated unjustly, or someone does something that just really ticks you off, rather than jumping into an emotional state of fight or flight, just breathe and try to imagine how the most loving of all beings would deal with the situation? You know how you would deal with it typically, by becoming embroiled in an emotional state of reaction. So the key is to do something different, to attempt to retrain your thoughts and responses to adversity or negativity. What would love do?

Love will always do what love always does; accept, create space for the other, understand, feel compassion, turn the other cheek (choose your "battles") and generally rise above the ego's need to be right, or satisfied by it's own cleverness. Love will always choose the higher moral road, and in this way, we know Love is right because of the feelings we have within us when we are being and doing as Love would be and do.

You know how it feels to get your panties in a wad, right? You feel your chest tighten, as your breathing accelerates, and your muscles clench, and your fists ball up; you feel your heart rate increase, as you begin to go into counter-attack mode. The responses your body gives you when you're in this reactionary state of being are all good indicators that you are not aligned with a higher state of being and thinking, because it is not healthy or natural to feel so tense, anxious, or eager for a confrontation.

But when you get into the mindset of being as Love would be, your breathing deepens, you relax your limbs and muscles, your stress washes off of you, and this is your body letting you know that you are on the "right path".

A dear friend of mine is a power house of energy; I call her a spitfire, she's very empathetic, and clairvoyant, and incredibly spiritually gifted. However she is sorely un-centered, and as a result she can get caught up in other peoples drama very easily, or rise to anger or sadness quickly, because she has no control over her inner peace. This is something she is working on, with a tonne of self-awareness, and a desire to be the Love she feels within her. I commend her for endeavoring to rise above her previous condition of emotional turbulence, as she knows that peace, center, and calm will not only serve her better, but also her family. This is a huge part of a spiritual awakening, because we live in a society and time in which people have very little control of their own emotions. It's difficult for an empath to operate in modern society as people are just out of emotional control, and can be dreadfully rude, boorish, and selfish by and large. So to dedicate ones-self to this level of self-aware behavior modification is a testament to the Spirit within you, and the journey you are consciously taking.

I don't know that any of us will ever master peace, or if that is possible while having a 3D existence in which we have to work, raise families, deal with every day problems and the complexities of life on planet Earth. But we can each of us take responsibility for our own emotional responses to life. Could you imagine a planet on which no one ever jumps to conclusions again? Where people gather the facts before becoming enraged, and polarized and sucked into drama, arguments, fights and judgment? How amazing that planet would be, where people could simply live and let live, truly.

Choosing peace, and to be as Love is, is a statement to the Universe as well; you are saying "I am dedicated to being a spiritually balanced being of Love, and know it does not serve me or anyone to let my emotions and fears run roughshod over my life."

So you've made your list, and have a general idea of what it is you'd like to work on improving about yourself, and your reactions to life's unexpected and yet all too plentiful challenges. You understand that you can either keep reacting the way you always have, which will rob you of peace, or you can rise above your petty ego, and childish fears and inadequacies, and strive to let Love be your true north. The next step is to live it - every day. In every way.

How Do You Maintain This Peaceful Outlook?

Affirmations, reminders, daily goals and an internal dialogue with yourself will help you change those bad habits into a new state of thinking, being, and doing. At first it will be something you need to remind yourself of, often. Getting into the practice of breathing immediately facing a challenge is a great first step, in those moments you are breathing you can assess the situation, and your own physical reaction to it, and then just take a step back, and observe the situation from a detached perspective. Remember to keep all things in perspective too, as while something can feel like a huge problem in the moment, hindsight often reveals that whatever had us up in arms was nothing more than a minor conflagration of emotions clashing, or a situation which wasn't as dire as we initially thought. In breathing, and giving yourself a few moments to take stock, and find a Loving and peaceful perspective from which to proceed, you give yourself an advantage; you literally rise above the situation so that you can be calm while dealing with whatever the crisis or problem is.

Soon you will find you need less affirmation, or daily goals, as your responses will naturally alter with practice, and repetition; eventually you will not be trying to be as Love, but you simply will be as Love.

So the next time someone cuts you off in traffic, or cuts in front of you at the checkout stand; the next time someone goes ape and starts a fight with you, or the phone rings with bad news, take some deep cleansing breaths, ask yourself "ok, how would Love handle this situation?" and then follow your hearts guidance.

There is truly no situation on this planet that needs you to fly off the handle and get all riled up. All you do accomplish by becoming embroiled in drama or emotional warfare is to add to your own stress, which is not good for the heart, and often end up feeling foolish afterwards after your temper has cooled off. So skip the theatrics, tell your ego it simply isn't in charge of your responses to life's adverse challenges anymore, and just remember to breathe. That is what Love would have you do.

In Great Love,