Nothing But The Truth

One thing I learned early on in my life was to be honest. I tried lying as a young girl, experimented with it as every kid does. I pushed boundaries, told little "white lies", and always got caught. I had a tell - my blush. It was always very obvious when I was lying, so after a while I gave up trying.

As I got older and walked my spiritual path further and deeper I realized that honesty was much more than just "the right thing", it was essential to my peace and well being. Lies on any level mess up my energy matrix and make me feel like overall poopy.

I have been told by many people over the years that I am the most honest person they've met. This isn't always a compliment though, as some people find intense honesty overwhelming, or even intrusive. I battled it out with my mother for years over her drinking, and eventually my honesty alienated her, and we spent 3 years apart as a result. I learned in that time that sometimes it isn't necessary to be so forward with everything I feel. So the key lesson there was tactful honesty.

I now try to approach honesty from an intuitive place. I will sit with my truth for a few moments, and ask myself what the possible outcomes of stating it could be; and if Spirit nods yes, then I will be open. I can truly tell you, it has made all the difference in my marriage. My husband was a very typical "guy" when we met; emotionally distant, awkward, and shy. He didn't really know how to express himself, and boy was he in for a rude awakening with me! Over the years he got accustomed to my honesty, and eventually began to feel comfortable returning it. He found his voice, and his ability to speak up for himself, to not gloss things over to be polite, or to avoid rocking the proverbial boat. It was refreshing, and each time he looks me in the eye and reveals something he believes truly within him, I am in awe of him.

You see, honesty is about the most appealing trait a person can have in my eyes.

Now, when I say  honesty, I'm not talking about the nit-picky semantic-driven details that would drive a person crazy. It's not about saying "yes your ass does look fat in those pants!" or stating everything single thought you have in your head. I work with a woman who shares every thought she has, and it can be extremely tedious. The honesty I'm referring to is the emotionally driven truths within us. Things that affect you on a deeper level than the material or physical, which touch you in your heart or spirit, these are the truths I am talking about.

I try to be as honest spiritually speaking as possible. And I won't lie, I did play the passive aggressive airy-fairy for a very long time in my spiritual life. I would nod and smile and say all the right things, "blessed be" and "namaste" while meanwhile there was something deeper I wanted to say in response to someone, but I would bite my tongue. I thought that it would leave me open to being judged if I were that honest. And when I really put that under a microscope I saw how flawed that insecurity was. So now, when I feel compelled to share a truth within me in a deep and cosmic way, I do. I try to use tact, and tenderness, but as Neale Donald Walsch said in one of the Conversations with God books, "sometimes when a person is deeply asleep, you have to shake them a little bit"...

So if you ask me my opinion about something, know you will get it. And while my honesty may not always be right, know that I am aware of that, and do not share it with an arrogant sense of authority or condescension.

You see, I think if we were all really and truly honest about how we feel, how we see the world, how we see ourselves, and others; if we all were extremely unabashed in our feelings and observations, the world would be a much richer place for it.

We are a society which has been brainwashed into politically correct zombiedom. We aren't allowed to say what we want to say, we have to put a coat of whitewash on it first, make sure it's "clean" before we deliver any statement in public. It makes people second guess themselves, and it throws freedom of speech out the window. Yes, there are certain words or phrases which when used in a negative context are hurtful and inappropriate, but shouldn't common sense cover those things?

I strongly urge you to be honest with yourself. Painfully honest if need be. Look at yourself, until it hurts, and then look deeper. The journey inwards to your own psyche and inner world can be intimidating, and can reveal things about the self which are not always attractive - but that honest journey helps you to really get a total look at who you are, how you operate, and what you are all about. And if you see something you don't like, then you can work at it - honestly. With integrity and grace.

I have lost friends due to honesty over the years, and it has been sad to say the least, but I can not pat someone on the head and encourage self-destructive behavior, and I certainly won't lie to a loved one to make them feel better about their life. It detracts from the value I feel for people.

So ask me if your ass looks fat in those pants, I may dodge the question and answer it with another question :) But ask me if I think{__________} has a negative impact on your life because of {_________} and you can count on getting my honest take on it.

Honestly!