Attracting Money & Healing Abundance Blocks

I have been studying Reiki for a few weeks now and have received my Reiki level 1 Certification which is very exciting! I am performing self-healing every day now, working towards my level 2, and am anticipating great things as I begin to work with others, both hands on, and doing distance energy work. As part of my Reiki training I promised myself I would walk through any open doors, and receive any opportunities that were presented to me. So naturally, when I received an invitation to attend an online web seminar (webinar) about increasing your personal wealth through clearing Abundance Blocks, I accepted the invitation and made sure I would be free to watch online.

The webinar was extremely informative and valuable, and though I ended up leaving it before it was completely finished, I gained what I needed, and now would like to share it with you. Why did you leave early though, Dee, you may be asking? Well simply put, after the energy work portion of the webinar ended, the energy shifted as the hostess gave examples of her clients who had succeeded using her program, and as I looked to the website she had provided I saw the "catch"; of course there was a catch! It wasn't anything nefarious, and I am not putting the program she offers down, I just don't personally have an extra thousand dollars sitting around to spend on energy work to help me release my "abundance blocks". However, knowing what I do about energy, chakra's, healing and releasing blocked and stuck energy, I am confident we are all capable of removing these blocks ourselves, and change the way we think, feel, and act about money and wealth and abundance.

So let me share what I have picked up tonight, and also add my own intuitive spin, as I attempt to simplify the process of deprogramming your pre-conceived thoughts and notions about abundance, money, and work. Because let's face it, we've all been programmed and conditioned by our parents, our extended family, society, and experience to believe it is difficult to attract abundance, as well as developing other negative ideas or beliefs about what it "takes" to be financially free.

Let me start by talking about energy, chakra's, and the auric body, just to be sure we're all on the same page.

What Is Energy Work?

First let's understand the Chakra's, which is a sanskrit word meaning 'wheels of light'; these are numerous and plentiful, however many energy workers focus primarily on the first seven chakra's which are connected to the physical body and aura.

The Chakra's are a part of our spiritual body, or etheric soul, and when we are out of spiritual alignment or "center" our Chakra's can become blocked, by negative energy, or become weaker and less stable or productive. When you see an energy healer, such as a Reiki Master, or Shaman etc. they will address these blocks within your energetic body, cleanse them, and heal them so that your spiritual body renews itself with vigor, balance, and love. And as the spiritual body is directly related to our physical body, we can also have blocks arise due to physical illness, injury, or even suffer illness or injury due to a Chakra block or impediment. So hopefully you better understand the Chakra's now, and should you require more information please look here.

Energy workers are intuitive or empathic people who can work with the energy within and around you to help you heal and rebalance your Chakras. The word Reiki simply means "Sacred Life Energy", and a Reiki healer will help you to cleanse any blockages in your Chakra's, and then heal and invigorate them so that they are brightly working in tandem with one another again.

How Do We Get Blocks?

A blockage in your Chakra body is something we all experience, often enough, and its easy to understand how it happens when you begin to see how your energetic body is connected to your physical body. Negative thoughts can cause a blockage in your Chakra's. For example, let's say your significant other broke up with you tonight, out of nowhere, just came to you and said "I don't love you anymore, I'm leaving". How would that make you feel? Betrayed, rejected, hurt, confused to say the least? These feelings can create an energetic block which would then affect your bottom Chakra's, possibly even your throat Chakra if you do not get to express how you feel in response. This block can then sit in your chakra, like an icky black goo or residue, and sort of turn into sludge, which when not healed and acknowledged can fester, and literally cause an energetic block for years, if not your whole life. This can lead to depression, as your energy stops flowing smoothly through your body, and can actually lead to physical illnesses down the road. Everything from your self-esteem, to your perception of the world, to your physical health can suffer due to a blockage in your Chakral system. But clearing and healing your Chakra's is really so very simple, and it's something you can learn to do for yourself!

How Do You Heal Chakra's?

Let's say you're meditating, and thinking about, or visualizing (if you're able to) your Chakra's, and you get a feeling, or smell, or taste or see that there is something just not "quite right" with one of them. What do you do? Stay calm, and ask for healing Light to be sent to the Chakra, so that it may be cleansed, cleared of blocks, and healed. It's truly as simple as that my dear soul.

Using the assistance of a certified energy healer is also very helpful, as often a Reiki practitioner or healer will have the intuitive ability to see deeper into your Chakra's to things you may not be able to detect yourself, and have been trained to work with healing symbols, sounds, and frequencies, in order to help you come back into divine balance.

Close your eyes for a moment, breathing in through your nose, exhaling through your mouth, and think about your Root Chakra. It is red, and it is at the end of your tail bone, or at your pubic bone. If you can't see in your minds eye, then imagine eating something red like a strawberry. Or hearing the wail of a firetruck siren. Anything that helps you get in to the vibration of the color red. Now listen to your intuition as you examine your Root chakra; what do you feel? Do you get any emotional responses, or does your body respond with spasms, jerks, yawns etc. Any kind of response you get is an indication as to the status of that particular Chakra. If your intuition tells you something is "off", then explore it, explore the feelings you have within you about that particular Chakra, if a bad memory surfaces, let it, because your Chakra is showing you what caused the blockage, and then you'll know what you need to acknowledge and release in order to bring that Chakra into alignment and healthy vibrancy. Do this with each of your Chakra's, using the chart above if necessary.

Now I'm going to assume that you're on the same page, and understand your energetic body well enough to continue to the meat and potatoes of this post :)

What Is An Abundance Block?

From the day we are born, we are for lack of a better term "brainwashed" by those around us, or you could say "conditioned", to become who our parents and society believe we should become. We are taught what to believe, how to behave, and how to think. At some point in our early years, we are taught what to believe regarding religion, education, politics etc. Well we are also taught how to feel about money, whether we are aware of it or not. Maybe you grew up hearing daddy complain about how hard he had to work, or your parents bickering about bills, or not being able to afford this, and that.

Abundance Blocks are subconscious barriers we have created in our thinking, which sabotage our ability to create and attract abundance, wealth, prosperity. 

Were you taught that "money is the root of all evil" at some point in your past? Did you grow up seeing rich people as greedy, exploitative? Somewhere in your past, were you imprinted to believe that with money comes great risk, responsibility, and it changes you to become someone unethical or cruel? These are all thinking processes which cause blocks to your abundance abilities. And something which I am myself beginning to understand, and wish to share with you, is that God, the Source, Creator/Universe (whatever you wish to call it) doesn't want us to struggle, or lack, or go without. The Source of Love wants us to experience a rich and diverse life, and to generate our wishes, our dreams, and follow our hearts!

Something I learned years ago, but still do struggle with really truly getting on an energetic level is this: Money is simply an energetic way of saying "thank you" to someone who has helped you in some way, or an energetic way of being thanked for a job well done! It isn't the cornerstone of our being, and shouldn't be the focus, however it isn't evil, or wrong, and having it won't make you into some greedy megalomaniac! One thing the woman in the webinar said tonight that stuck with me was this:

Money doesn't change who you are, "money turns up the volume of who you already are." What she meant was that if you're a kind and generous person, and you all of a sudden come into great wealth, then you're a kind and generous person with the new found ability to share that generosity with others through acts of philanthropy. If you're a miserable person without money, you'll still be a miserable person with it. Money isn't what changes people, it's their thoughts about money that do.

Did you grow up believing you have to work your butt off to achieve any kind of financial freedom? That you'd have to work hard your whole life to hopefully retire and have a few good "golden" years? This is more flawed thinking which we were conditioned to believe in, which contributes to Abundance Blocks.

Let me list a few bullet points that focus on how we become blocked:

• you have to work hard to be a success


• nothing comes easily in this life


• if it seems to good to be true it probably is


• money makes people greedy and un-trusting


• having money is too great a responsibility


• you wouldn't know who truly loves you for you if you had a lot of money


• spiritual people don't need money or things to be happy

These are all cliche's which we have been taught, or conditioned to believe from the day we were born. And who says Spiritual people are less spiritual if they have money? How many beautiful places on this planet can you visit and see if you don't have money? Wouldn't you be better able to enjoy the world our Creator has gifted us with if you had unlimited resources? It is not wrong, or depraved, or greedy or arrogant to want to have unlimited wealth available to you. I'm not saying we should all start trying to manifest millions, so we can all have yachts and summer homes on the Cape; what I am saying is that too many of us think very small thoughts about ourselves, our worth, and our destiny, and it is possible to change the way we think, feel, and heal any blocked energy within our energetic body.

How Can We Change Our Thoughts?

This is where it gets a little tricky, because our thoughts are very deeply ingrained, and culturally enforced. It isn't easy to accept that we are worthy, we are supported, and we deserve abundant happiness, joy, and success. We weren't raised to believe these things! Most of us grew up hearing we had to work hard, study hard, work hard hard hard! And after all that hard work IF you were lucky, maybe you'd be able to retire by age 65 and spend a few relaxing years before you died.

Isn't that fundamentally flawed thinking? Don't you think?

God/Source does love us, each of us, and does want us to create the best, happiest, and most abundant life we can for ourselves. God doesn't want any of us to struggle, or worry, or go without in this life and the reason we end up struggling, worrying, and going without is not because of God, but because of our hardwired thinking, faulty logic, and lack of understanding about who we are in Gods eyes. All life is energetic, we are all intrinsically connected, the water in the oceans, the leaves on the trees, lightning in the skies, comets in the cosmos, all things are all connected via energy; Light. This Light is the eternity of all things, the Source, our Creator. And our Creator wants us to enjoy this experience of being alive!

Repeat after me: My true life purpose includes living abundantly. The Universe wants me to be abundant and happy. It will show me my blocks again and again until I clear them.

By showing your blocks again and again, the Universe will keep delivering you what you believe you deserve; so if you don't think you're worth a significant amount of freedom, joy, relief, and material liberty, then you'll keep struggling. And believe me, I'm right there with you!

I remember the day it happened for me; I mean yes I grew up hearing my own parents moan about money, but there was a pivotal day, when I was maybe 19 years old. I was at work, working late, and the cleaning lady came in to the office. She was an older Italian lady, very cute and sweet, and I loved her accent. We would chit chat frequently, and one day she out of nowhere took my hand, looked at my palm and said very matter of factly "You will never come into money, no no, you will have to work very very hard if you ever want to have money!" At the time I blew the experience off, as we're wont to do.

Yet, all these many years later, her prophecy has rung true. Why is that, do you suppose? Did she see my future? Anybody who knows me as a reader, or as a friend, knows that I don't believe we have one set in stone future, but rather we are creating our reality with each choice we make, moment by moment. So no, I do not believe she saw my future. I believe she saw a possibility, or a probability, or a smudge on my hand (tongue in cheek giggle there folks) and she told me something that I took to heart.

This is an abundance block - and one I can now work on cleansing, and healing. But it won't be as simple as just sending healing energy to my Chakra's, because I will have to change my own thoughts, feelings and beliefs about it.

The woman in the webinar had a really neat way of reprogramming ourselves, and I want to quote her because I just liked it a lot! When I work on overcoming this particular abundance block I'm going to say "I now delete and clear this old thought: across all time dimension space and reality - I invite light in to wash away all those patterns and habits and limits!"

Cute right? I like it, so I'm going to use it, it's simple, and it will help me to see this detrimental thought as a concept I can easily delete - get rid of, like some bad text on my computer - just delete and it's gone!

Here is an exercise we were given in the webinar, try it out yourself, you may find you want to start doing this each day.

Abundance Block Clearing Exercise:

Get into your receptive meditative space now, breathing deeply in through the nose, out through the mouth. Raise your vibration now, to your higher frequency, the one where you're in touch with your divine wisdom.

See, sense, know and allow the Light to enter your crown Chakra, and ask the Light to cleanse your thoughts, feelings and beliefs about lack, limitations, and struggling.

Allow the Light into your eyes, to cleanse your vision, to take away visions of lack, and to give you new clarity about abundance.

Allow the Light into your ears so that you may now receive true wisdom, hear good guidance, and know the way to abundance.

Bring the Light now into your throat, so that you speak your highest Light and Love, and express joy, abundance and bliss!

Now see the Light in your heart, where you can ask it to cleanse any feelings of lack, loss, sorrow, limits.

Draw the Light to your Solar Plexus, where it heals old hurts, frees negative thinking, and lets you know you are always supported.

See the Light move into your Sacral Chakra, removing your fear of being powerless, fear of failure or giving up, and letting you know you deserve and are capable of great things!

Move the Light now to your Root, ridding you of a sense of lack, or inability to step into your power.

Move the Light down your legs, through your feet, into the earth below you, let it move deeper and deeper into the Earth until it's at the core of the Earth where it can be nurtured with mothers Love. Leave the Light rooted there inside Earths protective core, and follow it now back up through the earth, into your feet, legs, back up your spine and out your Heart Chakra where you will now watch it move up and down bathing you in sacred radiating Light in 360 degrees. You are surrounded above and below - by Love, healing Light, as it rises, and expands around you, growing larger and larger, until you are entirely surrounded by this cleansing miraculous Light which heals all of your blocks, and connects you to the truth of the Source, and true unconditional LOVE.

Realize in this space you now hold that you are worthy of every good thing you can conceive of! All of humanity is! You are loved, and unlimited in Gods eyes, and the only limitations you have upon you are the ones you put there yourself, or allowed others to put into place through ignorance and lack of understanding about Love.

Release all negative attachments, and affirm to yourself that: "I am a magnet for positive energy, positive experiences, and abundance! I attract health and wealth and joy and love!" Make this your mantra, as you do this exercise daily, and lets see if we can retrain ourselves, together -- to start receiving the miraculous abundance of the Universes love for us!

Dealing With Specific Blocks:

As you become comfortable with this exercise, you may want to get more specific, because as you go deeper you'll realize these implanted or imprinted thoughts we were forced to believe when we were younger are plentiful! You may discover new blocks each time you meditate, and that's ok, simply clear it, release it, understand where it came from, how you developed it, who in your life taught you to think that way, then bless it and release it and cleanse it.

Money is simply a piece of paper by which we thank each other for goods, services, and acts we perform. When I give a Tarot reading, and accept a payment, I am saying "you're welcome" to the person who is saying "thank you" by handing me a payment. There is no wrong in accepting a payment for work you perform, any more than there is anything wrong in giving someone money for performing a task or service for you!

I'm going to add this to my nightly Reiki routine, to see how I can overcome my own abundance blocks, and I hope you'll add it to your own routine as well! And please do stay connected, and let me know how it's going. Have you been using a technique like this already? Have you got more insight to share? I'd love to hear from you!

I wish you the most abundant life you can live - NOW - Today! In this moment - you deserve all of your dreams to come true, and you deserve to FEEL deserving of all of this and more.

In Great Love,

Senseless Human Suffering: Being A Part of the Solution

There is so much going on in the world around us, it's so easy to get caught up in it all; to be swept away in the currents of society, and the endless parade of pain and loss and fear which is sweeping across the planet at this time.

I turn on the news and I see what is going on in the Middle East and my heart aches, as I think about the innocent lives being lost, wasted, thrown away, and quickly I feel my energy lower itself, and then I become depressed, and begin to operate from a very dense level of consciousness.

This is natural, and to those of us who are extremely empathic it is simply part of our own personal challenge, to remain neutral, centered, and focused on the positive all around ourselves.

I so easily get caught up in my own anguish over what goes on in the world every day, and when I pin point the tragedies and travesties humanity endures I simply feel so desolate and lost. It is so easy to forget that it is our own free will, collectively and individually, which has brought us to this place we currently hold.

And so I remind myself, and hopefully anyone reading this who feels the way I so often feel, that the best thing any of us can do is to stay grounded, centered, and in the moment. When we get caught up in global storms of ego, power, tyranny and cataclysm it simply drains us of our energy, and leads to illness, and despondency. And brooding over that which happens in the world will certainly not change it, will it...

While we may not be able to change the reality others are living in at this time, and that can lead to a great deal of aggression and unresolved anger within ourselves, it is vital that we all remember that we have within our grasps the ability to channel positive energy and thoughts towards those situations and people.

It is possible to be in the storm - watch it rage all around us, and still remain centered, within the eye of the hurricane, so that we can remain rational, compassionate, observant, and accessible to those around us who need us.

I fall into despondency so easily, as I am so extremely empathetic, and literally feel the pain, sorrow, anguish and loss of others. When I watch the news, or read an article about yet another bombing, or downed airplane, or act of terrorism, my throat chakra locks up and tears well in my eyes and I feel so damned helpless, and that is the hardest thing for me to bear; not being able to do anything to help those people on Earth who so desperately need help!

And yet, if I take a moment to breathe, center, focus, and reach higher within myself to a place of wisdom and Light, I realize that I can help, by simply sending my love, my blessings, my ardent prayers and positive energy. My warring ego spits angry venomous thoughts through my mind, raging at these notions, feeling as though it is not enough! And yet my Higher sense of Self assures me that it is all I can do, all many of us can do, and it is worth more than we may at first think.

While thinking positive thoughts, or praying will not feed a hungry child, or stop a gunman from murdering a helpless victim before him, it is better than feeling like a victim ourselves, or slipping into feelings of rage, revenge, polarized notions of an eye for an eye vengeance. When we get lost in the storm and begin to feel whipped this way and that, and lose sight of our own sense of peace and stability, then we become a part of the problem. And none of us want to be a part of the problem.

So while we can't physically become a solution regarding so many of the big pressing heart wrenching issues on Earth, we can maintain equilibrium at home, in our society and community. We can quietly maintain loving compassionate feelings which we can share with those around us, and as ripples on a pond, watch those energies slowly move around the world.

I became so angry earlier yesterday morning, as I read an article about the ceasefire in Gaza not even lasting a whole day, and I saw a woman comment on the article, saying if everyone prayed on their Rosary beads, the war would end. I literally felt like smashing my laptop to bits on the ground, her comment evoked such a visceral sense of raw fury within me, as I envisioned countless do-gooder people praying together to stop genocide, and it made me feel so useless, meaningless, empty.

Yet later, as I thought on it, and I did, as my thoughts kept circulating around the ire I felt within me at this woman's words, I realized I was being part of the problem in that moment. I was sending so much negative and harmful thought energy towards a notion which made me feel helpless. Here this woman had felt so strongly in her own beliefs as a Catholic that she shared a bit of positivity, and I had responded by feeling angry towards her, and her notion, and indeed her entire religion.

That gave me great pause. She was trying to be a solution, in whatever small degree I deemed it to be, and I was not only judging her, but judging humanity in such a negative light. While I do not think billions of people rubbing rosary beads and praying will bring an end to the aggression in the middle east at this time, I also know that belittling that notion is surely as pointless as engaging in the war itself. I felt ashamed of myself.

So I meditated, and I prayed in my own way, and I came full circle back to the place where I always end up, after feeling anger, aggression, and confusion within myself; I came back to Love.

While I cannot hop on a plane, fly to Israel, and physically save the lives of every Jew and Arab engaged in this conflict, I can pray for them, and I can be hopeful for them, and I can look into ways I can help in my community. I can see if the Red Cross has relief efforts I can in some way assist with. I can see if writing politicians will hold any value. I can make efforts to resist this war in a way which does not resist my sense of Self, and Peace.

So I exhaled, and I calmed the raging mama Bear I am deep inside my ego, and I shrugged off my own immense hubris. I am in the eye of the storm again, and I'm sure the winds will whip up around me again in the future, and I'll find myself raging in the storm, feeling thoughts purely negative, detrimental, and pointless again, and when that happens I will again come full circle. It's what I do. It is what we do, as a species - we fumble towards ecstasy.

While prayer, and positive thinking may seem banal and pointless to many, and I can understand too well that feeling of "what are they thinking?!", I also feel and know deep within me, that it is so much more healing to send feelings of love, light, and prayer to those who are suffering on this planet, than to feel pity, apathy, and desolation.

So perhaps you'll join me, in a few silent moments of prayer at this time. Nothing fancy, nothing predetermined, just take a moment, to close your eyes, focus on humanity, and send love to each man, woman and child on Earth right now. Every single one, regardless of age, race, creed, religion, or background. Send love to the terrorists, and the terror-stricken. Send love to those who abuse their power, and those abused by others in power. Send love, and pray for wisdom, serenity, and release from aggression and hatred.

It surely has to be more productive than raging over the injustices in the world.

In Love,

Ego & Communication: Lost in Translation

Did you ever try to tell someone something, or share something with someone, and instead of talking about the thing you wanted to talk about you end up having a ridiculous argument which spirals out of control, gets personal, and ends in confusion?

Chances are, ego stepped in and hijacked your discussion.

I talked about this type of issue a bit in the Spiritual High Horse post I made in 2011. The issue addressed there was how often times Spiritualists can let their Spiritual Ego take the lead, unwittingly speaking from a place of delusion instead of simple Love or Peace.

I'd urge you to familiarize yourself with the concepts of the Ego, and the Spiritual Ego, to truly understand our multi-faceted selves, and how we often lie to not only others, but essentially ourselves. 

You see, we are beings who operate on a few different levels, at all times. Our ego is our sense of identity as a Human being. The psyche is the deeper sub-conscious Self that usually expresses itself through dreams, or deep introspection. The Higher Self is your Soul, which you connect to through your Crown Chakra, and is the truest most authentic version of You on a Universal and Spiritual level. The Spiritual Ego is a savvy aspect of our normal ego, and it follows our journey of self-aware Awakening each and every step of the way.

The Ego seeks to protect itself, and all it feels is valuable and essential to it's survival. In this way you can call the Ego the "False Self" as it really is the by-product of the material world, and has been created, and conditioned by the people and culture around it. I talked about Deprogramming the Mind previously, and in essence that pertains to realizing that who we have "become" as a self-aware individual on Earth is largely due to all we've been subjected to, taught, and steered towards by others in our world. You aren't born with an Ego, it is in the formative years that one begins to develop, as "yours" and "mine" becomes crystal clear to a little mind, that is so much like a sponge. We begin to understand that there are certain ways to behave which are "good" and others which are "bad" and as a result our world begins to guide our values, morality, and personality as a result.

But that personality is not who you really are.

You are Light, water, carbon, and energy, and at the core of your creative brilliance is Love. That is what we all share in common - our Souls, which all originate from the same source of Light in the Universe - we are beings of Light and of Love.

But on Earth, our connection to our truth is only accessed through raising our vibration to a higher level, to be able to connect to our Over Soul through an Ascended state of being. Ascension is simply an upwards rise to a higher vibrating frequency. The Soul is brilliant and vibrates at a rate of speed which the lower level density of 3Dimensional reality simply can't accommodate. To be at One with your Higher Self, to receive messages of inspiration, to connect to Divinity you must accept a higher rate of frequency within you.

This can be achieved quite easily through deep breathing (meditation) or peaceful receptivity. Often, when engaged in activity that brings calm and peace, ones energy level raises upwards and we find ourselves feeling the inspired and fertile energy of our Soul. This can happen in Church, or listening to music, while reading, or being in nature. Anything that touches our heart can raise our energy to a higher state of being. And that is where the truth of the Self resides.

But what of the Ego? 

The ego isn't to be feared, or disliked. It is simply to be understood, and then mastered. To master your ego takes lots of time, patience, and detachment. I am nowhere near mastering my ego. It simply swells up at times and takes over and soon enough I find myself completely removed from where I intended to be, because Ego has derailed my plans with it's own hungry, ambitious agenda. Ego loves attention, and Ego loves being right! And I am so guilty of letting my Ego seek it's own glory and validation - often!

This puts a real monkey wrench into my plans when I try to share knowledge or wisdom with another person. My intention is always to help, to illuminate, to lend a helping hand. And usually if I keep my motives in check, and breathe, and keep Spirit vibrating within my intentions I am able to reach others through my words, or my deeds.

But I'm human, as we all are, and from time to time I stick my Ego's foot in my big mouth, and end up making a mess of a well intended idea!

An example of this happened just yesterday, on Facebook (where else?) as I shared a link to an article about a 1500 year old Bible found in Turkey which denies that Jesus was crucified. I have never resonated with the idea that Jesus was anything other than a brilliantly gifted Lightworker, or Prophet. This Bible emphasizes that, demonstrating Jesus as a mortal man, blessed by God, rather than being the son OF God - who was gifted with healing powers, as well as psychic talents, in order to help draw the children of Israel into Unity in a monotheistic (One - God) ideology.

In short, I find this new discovery intriguing, and wanted to share it! Well an acquaintance wasn't pleased with it, got defensive, and ended up unfriending and blocking me!

My immediate reaction was "boy, she must really have shaky faith to let a post on someone else's wall upset her so!"

My secondary reaction was "Boy, I really could have responded to her in a gentler and more patient way..."

I never said anything mean to her, I simply shared my beliefs, but in my often cool analytic delivery I likely caused her to feel alienated.  I felt deflated, and essentially felt a sense of loss, as I realized I'd had an opportunity to really engage this woman, and I'd failed.

And I realized, that yet again Ego had surreptitiously snuck into my responses to her, and I'd let it happen, and I'd lost a chance to have a truly illuminating moment with someone who deep within feels threatened by my rather unconventional beliefs. The weight of this failure sat heavy on my Heart.

You see, while I didn't say anything harmful to her, and I kept my response neutral and clinical in order to approach the topic from a place of pure science and data, I did something I realize I've been doing for a while without realizing it! When it comes to talking to hard core ultra-conservative Christians and Catholics, I get defensive. I expect to be looked at as a Pagan sinner in their eyes. I expect them to abandon reason in sight of their deeply held beliefs. I expect a breach in communication to occur simply because that is what often has happened in my experience.

I myself have been scripting a self-fulfilling prophecy. 

I apologize to every single person who has ever felt alienated by me in a religious discussion. While I may come off as cool headed, and fact based, the truth is, I have trust issues. And that isn't your doing - it is my issue to work through, and resolve.

While it is my highest and most humble desire to share knowledge with others, and help people keep an open mind, I immediately lower my own vibration and intent by putting up a wall and approaching these subjects with defenses in tact.

Because I've been embroiled in religious arguments in the past, I have adopted a very cool calculated sense of communication when it comes to religion - it simply feels safer to be remote, fact based, and rational in this type of scenario. But I do no one any good when I am letting my Ego divert the discussion.

So I accept this lesson, and I'm grateful to have finally figured it out. I don't know how many people I have made feel "less than" in religious discussions, but from this day out I intend to speak from my Heart as much as from my Head where personal beliefs are concerned. I will stop expecting to be misjudged based on my own personal beliefs. And I will stop assuming that every Christian or Catholic I meet is judging me out of the gates for not sharing their beliefs.

Do you see how Ego operates?

This is why it is imperative to be very honest with yourself on a journey of Awakening. Self-awareness is the most necessary ingredient on the table my friend; for if you can't be honest with yourself, then you're lying to everyone.

There is no harm in accepting there are aspects of who we are that are malignant at times. It's not a sign of weakness, or even a sin - we are physical beings on a heavy energy planet, dealing with our various senses of Self in a world where everyone else wants to shape our morality. It's bound to happen from time to time; ego will trick you and you'll never understand that ego is at the wheel - until you're ready to.

Even the best intentions can be laid asunder by a raging Ego.

Let us all attempt to be more honest with ourselves, about who we are, and who we really Are. And then maybe we can come together and communicate from the Heart, while letting down our walls of defense, and just make connections instead of messes.

Karma: Can You Live With It?

Over the years I've seen people refer to karma in various ways, and it's clear that the general public isn't really aware of exactly what karma is, what it's function is, and how it's created. I would like to dedicate this entry to dispelling some myths, clarifying the concepts of karma, and also discussing how karma is a very powerful tool which must be viewed with honesty during ones own journey of awakening.

Let's start by understanding what karma is, and by contrast, what it is not.

Karma is a an ancient sanskirt word, originating from the word "kamma" which means "action" "word" or "deed". The concept of Karma originated in ancient India, with Hindu's, Buddhists and other Eastern Philosophies. The idea of karma is that ones own actions, words, or deeds are creative on an energetic level as well as physically, and that what you do, think, or say is put out into the Universe as an energetic creative force, and it will then draw back to you energy of a similar state of vibration.

To better understand this, let's look at Karma as a Universal law, such as Gravity, the law of attraction, or relativity; for this is exactly what Karma is. Karma is the natural law of "as above, so below", in that what you do, think, or say on an Earthly level (Below) also enacts itself on a higher level (above).

What Karma Isn't:

Now we must dispell a few myths attached to the concept of Karma, before going further. I see people talk about karma as though it is a person, or an entity, referring to it as some righteous law keeper who rewards the good and punishes the wicked. Karma is not a person, or an entity of any sort. Karma has no conscience or consciousness; Karma is a principle put in place in this free will universe which is tied very closely to duality. We live in a reality which is built upon the principles of duality; you understand that every action has its reaction; and that all things have their mirror. Up is always mirrored by down, happy has it's counterpart in sad, even life is mirrored by death. Duality is the way this universe is set in to motion, so that our every experience can be fully appreciated by knowing it's similarity and its opposite. This is a learning tool which is invaluable to every soul alive; we could never truly appreciate the lush and wondrous sensations of Love and Peace unless we had something opposite by which to compare them to. So to better understand Love and Peace we get to experience loneliness, abandonment, and anxiety or chaos. This is duality. And for such a system of duality to work fundamentally it must be governed by a law which acts as a system of checks and balances; and this law is Karma.

You understand now that Karma is not a person, or a being with a consciousness; indeed it is simply a law of physics, much like gravity. It exists to measure our every action, word, and thought and then deliver us a result, or consequence so that we can fully learn about what we have put forward into the world. If you say something hurtful to someone, that will have a consequence; the tenets of Karma dictate that what you put out will return to you equally. Neo-Pagans and Wiccan's talk about the threefold rules of Karma, and suggest that what you put forth will return to you three-fold. I tend to disregard this type of thinking, as the law does not seem to favor taxing you times 3 on any of what you put out into the world. So let's look at Karma as a system by which what you put out you will receive back an equal amount of reaction, response, or consequence.

As Karma is a law of the Universe it is not biased, it has no favorites, in fact it is not invested in your words, deeds or actions. Human beings like to personify things like Karma in order to feel validated, but the truth is Karma isn't personal on any level, it is a natural law of energetic give and take.

How Karma Works?

Now that we understand what Karma is not, and truly see that it is a simple Universal law of balance, we can explore how Karma works. And it's really very simple to be honest, and won't require much explanation on my part; Karma gives back to you what you give away. If you do something kind, that goes into the Universe as positive energy, which will shine back to you in some way in your life. If you do something unkind, that goes into the Universe as negative energy, which will also shine back to you in some way in your life.

It's important at this point to note, this is not a system of reward and punishment!! Karma is not about rewarding the good and punishing the wicked; it is a tool by which we can grow, by reaping the rewards or results of our previous words, actions and thoughts. What better way to learn about how what we do affects the Universe energetically, than to have it affect us energetically as well?

Karma is active always; it is a constant law, and is at work in your life every second of every day. Now, being that it is a Universal Law, much like the Law of Attraction, it is wired up to your inner world, and your inner dialogue.

As with the Law of Attraction, you can say nice kind flowery things about someone, yet think negatively about them, and both Laws will disregard what you've said, and go to what you have thought - this is because this is where the truth of your energy is present. It is your deepest truth within that activates any Universal Law.

How to Keep Karma Positive?

Honestly you can't keep your Karma positive, the point is not to manipulate Karma, or change it. Karma isn't set in place to make you try to behave; it exists to help you change from the inside out. And that change can only come through experience, self-awareness, honesty, and ardently trying to become the highest and brightest version of yourself that you can.

So rather than trying to keep your Karma positive, focus on being a kinder and gentler person. The ways you can affect your Karma are so simple; follow your intuition. Intuition is a direct link to your Higher Self, or your Soul. And your Soul always knows what is best; Love. When in doubt, ask yourself "what would love do?" If you respond from that place of Love within you then you can be sure your Karma will be balanced.

Making Conscious Choices & Living With It

So now that we have a better understanding of Karma, as a Universal Law of balance and equanimity, we can talk about living with the results of your actions, thoughts, and words. There will always be opportunities in this world to react out of anger, or sadness, or jealousy etc, and while most of the time I would say "turn the other cheek" and just let it go, there are times when you just have to express your negative feelings in order to stand up for something or some one, or to make a point, or defend yourself or a loved one. We can't always turn the other cheek and sometimes you have to do something which will undoubtedly turn your Karma into the negative. If you are aware of this, and have weighed your options, consulted your intuition, prayed about it, and still feel you must stick by your convictions, then you must ask yourself "can I live with the Karmic results of this?"

And you must understand, Karma works in mysterious ways, and the cost could be anything from a "bad day" to an illness, or some great loss in your life. Depending on what you put out there, what you receive back could be life changing. So always be certain you are prepared to receive your Karma, before you do anything which will draw any negative Karma back to you.

Karma seems to work at it's own pace too; sometimes Karma plays out quickly, other times it seems to take ages. In fact lots of Karmic debts play out over several lifetimes. Depending on the amount of harm you've caused, you may carry Karma over into the next life, in order to truly learn from the negativity you have caused and expressed to the Universe.

So instead of worrying about what your Karma may be in the future, work towards clearing your Karma in the now.

How do you do this?

Get Honest, Humble, and Aware.

Sometimes you can clear your Karma with a simple heart felt apology. But giving that apology must come from a place of humility within you, where you realize you've caused harm. It is best to always follow your heart; if you've treated someone with less care than you'd like to be treated, perhaps you should take the time to right that wrong. It's best to always act from Love, as opposed to letting your ego feel "right". Most acts of negative Karma come from the ego itself, and it's need to be the center of attention, it's need to be right and validated and revered. But we know that the ego is an illusion; it is a false self which we build up around us in this very mundane world of petty insecurity. The ego wants more, whereas Love wants to express itself. So express yourself honestly, with the highest intentions of giving love, and creating positivity all around you, and if you've done or said something in your life which you regret; make amends. And don't do this to make your Karma different; do it because it is simply what Love would do.

The next time you wish someones Karma upon them, remember that Karma is always at work, in their lives, and in yours. Karma reacts to our deepest thoughts, and our every action, so instead of focusing on how so-and-so needs a good dose of Karma, focus on yourself, and what you're putting out there. If you can live with yourself, chances are your Karma will be good. If guilt eats at you in some way, it's a good time to start making a humble attempt to make things right between yourself, and anyone you've hurt, in any way.

With that said, I wish you the deepest Love that is within you - may it blossom through your every deed, word, and thought. With abiding Love,

The New Age Movement; Confessions of a Recovering Dogma-holic

Like so many of us on the journey of Spirituality and awakening, I explored various religions and beliefs in my first few decades on Earth; I had a deep passionate desire to better understand the Universe, my place in it, and the "why" which connects all living things. My first foray into God territory was into the Christian church, which I freely attended as a child, until I was 16 years old. I was lucky to have been raised by parents who allowed me the space and freedom to explore Spirituality at my own pace. My mother could well be described as a recovering Cathoholic; raised in a Polish Catholic home in the middle of the 20th century, she attended Catholic school, and experienced all of the dogma attached to that particular sect. Her hands were lashed with rulers by strict nuns, she took Catechism class, performed penance and gave regular confession. When I expressed a desire at an early age to go to Christian church, she told me I was welcome to go, but asked me to always keep an open mind. She was disenchanted by the dogma she faced growing up Catholic, and she did not wish to see her daughter become bogged down by the moral rulings of others based on what she felt were antiquated scriptures, and thousand year old writings.

I eventually fell out of sync with Christianity, as I got older, and began to understand dogma in a much more personal and far less academic way. When faced with the "absolute truths" the Christian church doled out, certain aspects did not sit well within me, and when I would question authority figures in the church, such as a youth pastor named Will for example, I was chastised, and never given plausible answers to my questions.

In short, I began to understand what my mother had meant, as I was seeing so many rules within the religion itself, and yet very few people adhering to those rules Monday through Saturday.

I decided God as I wanted to understand Him had to be far superior to the God I was being taught about in church; that he would be so ingenious as to grant his creation free will, and yet so critical as to judge His children for using that free will struck me as hypocrisy. Surely, God had more depth, and was capable of far more patience and love?

I spent the next decade or so exploring less mainstream belief systems, learning what interested me about various belief systems, ranging from Mormonism, to Buddhism, always gleaning valuable aspects of each faith, and yet always finding myself standing at a remarkable impasse in the end; the wall of dogma.

The rebellious nature within me wanted to get a better understanding of Spirituality, and my creator, and it seemed that no matter what I studied or examined, there was always some absolute law, or rule that just didn't sit well in my heart and mind.

Then I discovered the New Age movement, and what a revelation it was for me!

I found books and articles about subjects like out of body experiences, astral projection, channeling, and ascension, and I felt at One with what I was learning, uncovering, and discovering. It was very much like a home-coming for me, and my twenties and thirties found me cultivating a deeper sense of Spirituality through alternative arts, the occult, and the New Age movement which was sweeping across the planet in waves of beautiful expressiveness.

For a time, a long while, I felt free. The liberation I felt within the open-minded Spirituality I was exploring was so all encompassing for me, and for the first time in my life I felt as though I had found tid-bits and portions of a Truth so great, that it had to be right!

I had been reading Tarot cards for years, as well as runes, I-Ching, and crystals, as well as performing chakra cleansing's, body energy sessions, and Shamanic Voyages, and eventually I found myself transitioning from the student, into the role of teacher. And I glorified in this new aspect of my self-aware journey of Spirituality. I spent quite a few years guiding others, providing what I still refer to as Spiritual facilitation; or counselling. I was hosting the worlds most popular website for Awakening Starseeds, and Spirit seemed to be sending so many newly awakening souls to me for guidance, affirmation and direction.

As I settled into a very comfortable life of professionally reading Tarot, and offering Spiritual guidance to those who came seeking, I experienced a deep peace within me that I had never known previously. I spent the first decade of the new millennium living my joy, walking in harmony with nature, my Spirit guides, the Universe, and those around me who were also on their own individual path of Ascension and awakening.

Then, as it always will when one becomes too comfortable, the rug was pulled out from under me.

It wasn't one particular experience which led to a disassembling of my beliefs and assuredness in those beliefs, but rather a series of events which seemed to roll into one another, like a snowball gathering momentum, growing as it picked up speed. My online communities began to become argumentative, and were regularly being infiltrated by what are commonly referred to as "trolls", and I spent so much time trying to accomodate the needs of my valued long standing members, while still offering a safe haven to new members, that I tried literally everything I could think of to maintain a democratic, open, and fair community for the thousand plus members. But a revolution was brewing, and as my dearest friends and moderators and assistants unwittingly (or wittingly, who knows?) brought about a full blown mutiny, I began to crack under pressure, and made a series of choices over a year long period (or longer) which eventually lead to the community becoming a ghost town.

I removed the Awakening Starseeds website at this time, as I felt I was being pulled in so many directions, and was feeling victimized by the drama I was feeding into myself, and my Spiritual sense of identity began to unravel, unbeknownst to me until later...

Then my father passed away, 8 years ago, and I buried myself in the things that brought me peace and contentment, as I was losing my grip on my center and state of connection to Spirit. I began to withdraw into the old books, the old channelings, all of the materials which had piqued my curiosity many years beforehand, in an attempt to reclaim the feelings which had brought me so much joy in the beginning of my own Awakening.

And the downward spiral continued.

And it wasn't until I hit Spiritual rock bottom, and took a very long and critical look in the mirror, that I realized the folly of all I had been, done, and desired.

The New Age movement began with such pure and beautiful energy, and it created unity, and drew people together in the spirit of gratitude, celebration, and kindred soul family vibrations. Yet, at some point as the movement gained momentum, it shifted, and the energy became heavier, and more 3 Dimensional. And all of the things we were trying to transcend in our desire to break apart the old paradigm, had suddenly become the tenets of the movement themselves.

The trailblazers who had begun to truly spread the messages in the late 1980's, were making millions, and falling back into denser energy, becoming wrapped up in the illusion they were creating, rather than truly growing. And I believe that many of us who were actively trying to make a cosmic shift on planet Earth by raising the vibration to a higher dimensional state of Love and Oneness became confused, and instead of staying motivated in the moment to give, heal, and help, we were creating new dogmas, new absolute rules of engagement, and our ego's were working overtime to justify it, so that we could continue to pat ourselves on the head as though everything were still on track.

But it wasn't on track. 

The New Age movement lost momentum a few years ago. 

The monthly channelling's by beings such as Michael, Raphael, and Seth began to be just the "same old same old", spouting out rhetoric, having run out of anything original or truly inspiring to say.

Only a core few of the authors and trail blazers are still publishing new books regularly, mostly thanks to Oprah and her money making spirituality machine. People like Neale Donald Walsch, and Steve Rother began to sound batty, where previously they had truly BEEN enlightened souls of pure Light energy. And while there are still innovators out there who are definitely in it to win it, and haven't lost sight of the greatest truth within their hearts, they are few and far between. The only one I bother to read any longer is Wayne Dyer. And even he is repeating himself lately.

It's all been said, and done, and a lot of money was made, a lot of fads were marketed, and a lot of new rules were created. And in the end, it's wound up becoming one of the most confusing movements this planet has likely ever seen.

Why? Because now there are literally thousands upon thousands of people saying things like "namaste" to one another, who likely don't know the Mudra one uses while using the Hindu greeting. They refer to the Elohim, as though they are Ascended beings of Light, and not ancient Angels first referenced by Hebrew scripture. They talk about some magical Starseed named Adonai, not knowing that Adonai is actually another word ancient Hebrews used to reference the Holiest of Holies.

Basically, the New Age movement saw a bunch of innovating free thinking radical Indigo children follow their intuition by deciding it was time to raise the vibration of this planet, to slough off heavy 3D patriarchal energy, in order to bring about the revolution known as the Age of Aquarius. But what it ended up becoming is a mish-mash of ancient Pagan, Druidic, Hebrew, Christian, Sumerian, and science fiction (Roddenberry) scripture, lore, and cuneiform.

If you're still holding on to the old philosophies and ideals of the movement, ask yourself why? Consider the rules it consists of now, as opposed to 27 years ago, and the people profiting from it while you buy every book you can get your hands on about manifestation, or positive thinking.

I was a New Age Dogma-holic, for a long while, until it stopped serving me; until it stopped reverberating as "right" within me. Now, I am mostly label free, as I don't know where I stand truly. In a way I feel like a person who has been in a fall out shelter for about 50 years, after the big bomb dropped, coming out to survey the land for the first time. What I see is foreign to me, nothing is familiar, all that was has fallen away, and now makes no sense. So my instincts and intuition guide me to do what humanity does when something comes to it's natural end: start fresh.

If I must label myself, I'm going to type it in big bold face and tape it to my forehead for all to see: Spiritual Rebel.

The rules we've created, about what a spiritualist must eat, think, and surround themselves with in order to Ascend to 5th Dimensional awareness and density no longer apply for me. I don't think they apply to anyone. I consider the movement a grand experiment; and the experiment is over. And guess what?

It was successful.

We have spent the better part of the last 50 years birthing a grass roots movement, which brought us together in unity, in love, in a shared desire to know ourselves on a deeper and more meaningful level. We learned how to meditate, which is a skill any sentient being really owes it to themselves to possess. We sought to understand the physics of the Universe through the laws of Attraction, Karma, and Duality on Earth. We have expanded our consciousness, and explored our Chakra's, we understand that those wheels of light that spin on our Astral body are directly related to our physical body via our glands and vascular systems, and we better understand our overall health as a result. 

And most of all, we have learned that we have free will to do as we desire, and if something ends up going in a direction we didn't anticipate or desire, we can start fresh. 

As for the rules of the New Age movement? Hit delete my friends. Refresh. Return to Go and throw the dice again. The game is ready to begin anew, each moment, each day, each breath you take. So let's let the dogma off it's chain, throw it a bone, and then gather and have a go at the next New movement together. Let's keep perfecting our community consciousness and co-creation together, and good Goddess, let's keep making mistakes together, because those have taught us so much more than any singing bowl, or moldavite pendant, or any other pretty bauble ever could.

I Love You.

If The Truth Hurts, Then It Can Also HEAL

Mother always said, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all", and for the most part, Mother was right.

However, there is a fine line between minding ones own business, and suppressing ones own honesty. I find in this age of political correctness, people are very hesitant to speak their minds, and yet also in this online age of technology and social network relationships when people do speak their minds they can do so in a very passive aggressive and tongue-in-cheek way. I don't see the value, health, or merit in glossing over ones feelings, as it only creates ripples of discord and imbalance in an honest discussion or discourse.

While it is good, and inspiring to only speak positive words to those around us, in an effort to "be the change we wish to see in the world", there is a fine line between being kind, and being a duplicitous enabler. Telling someone what you know they want to hear, in order to avoid confrontation, while suppressing your own truth, values and dignity only makes you feel like a "yes-man", and does nothing to enlighten or illuminate the other person. There is too much head patting going on in the world at large in my honest estimation, and all this type of coddling does is give people the wrong type of encouragement.

I try to speak from my highest place of love and respect at all times, but I will never simply roll over and tell someone what they wish to hear in order to placate them or avoid their negative response. This may cause some to find me harsh, or even arrogant at times. And yet to those who know me very well, it is abundantly apparent that it is love that motivates my honesty. If I did not love people, I would not invest myself in open discourse with them. It would be simple to nod and smile and leave people with a sense of righteousness if I did not care about them.

But I do care. I care for people in such a deep and innate way, and this goes so much further than simply caring for their feelings, or vanity, or insecurities. You see, I care for peoples hearts and souls. I care for the fullness of authenticity within each sovereign person; and as I have been nudged by others at times through catalytic confrontation, I also use my intuitive sense of knowing of others to push them to dig deeper within themselves than they are used to.

This relates to personal growth; something every person on the planet can benefit from. As the Oracle at Delphi's message related: "Know Thyself". And to truly know oneself, one must see through the false layers of persona one builds up over a lifetime; the ego, vanity, the bullish sense of righteousness we develop as we live life in this grand realm of duality.

Our personalities are very much like onions, as a dear animated ogre named Shrek once said. With each layer you peel back, you reveal yet another, deeper layer. And as you peel back these false layers of the self, and the personality, they can cause tears, and yet with each layer another reveals itself. And the analogy of the onion peel is a simple yet poignant way to depict the fullness of a journey of self-aware awakening. While we discover things about our false layers, we can often face things that make us cry, and feel guilty, and experience regrets. The key is to not get caught up in those feelings, but to ardently continue to explore, peel back, and explore the deeper darker recesses of our psyche into order to reach a truer place of self.

Because I feel a deep love, kinship, and sense of empathy towards people and the human condition, and because I myself seek this deep level of self-aware honesty, I find it absolutely counter productive to play at politics with people. I show my love through straight forward relating. Now let me define this, because I don't want to give you the impression that I blunder through life like a bull in an emotional china shop, stepping on toes for the sake of opening wounds that I feel need exposing. It isn't my place to point out the flaws of another person; I have enough of my own flaws to contend with and understand and accept when I cannot transmute them. This isn't about surface level issues such as the physical, but always about something deeper within that compels a person to avoid the truth of how they are feeling.

A few days ago, a very dear person to me said something which was full of bitter projection, and generalized condemnation towards immigrants. This statement caused me pain, because I knew it was misplaced. It wasn't this persons true intent to be seen as racist or intolerant; she simply was feeling poorly about herself and projected that to a faceless nameless entity of external people, to avoid facing her true feelings of dissatisfaction with herself. I weighed my options, and chose brute honesty, because I love her very much. I told her that her statement was general, and somewhat racist. And her response was volatile, full of anger, righteous indignation, and she quickly accelerated and pointed all her anger towards me. I allowed her to vent her rage at me, while I calmly and very honestly attempted to explain to her that she was projecting deep feelings of pain and anger towards me, because she was not willing to just deal with the feelings themselves.

And she chose to play victim, which I was sad to see, yet I know the experience will give her a great opportunity to rise above her own limited perception of herself, and the situation itself. I eventually withdrew, telling her I love her, explaining that we would connect again in the future, and honestly telling her that I will always be here for her, however am not her punching bag. And I'm quite certain she will continue to point her anger at me for as long as it serves her to do so. And eventually the righteous anger will simmer down, and those feelings of sorrow and fear will still sit within her, and she will have to face them honestly, and perhaps even realize that blaming strangers from other countries, or me, was just a smoke screen for her to avoid the truth all along.

This is what people do; it is the human condition at it's most raw and simplistic. We avoid the pain within, because it hurts so god damned much, and instead we channel it into anger, and point it outwards, rather than working on the internal issues where it originates.

And this is why it is so fundamentally important to me that I be as honest as I can be with others. Because I love this dear woman enough to see the truth of her feelings, and to know that she was having a very bad day. Now, wouldn't it be more loving or kind to simply let her have space to vent that frustration, you may be asking?

Let me ask you, if I had said nothing, and let her make her veiled intolerant comments about immigrants, would that have done her any justice? I would have given her the silent message that A: it is okay to hurt others to feel better about yourself, and B: I don't hold higher expectations from or FOR her.

Sure, I could have let it fly, ignored it, chalked it up to a "bad day", but again, this is a very dear person to me, someone who I have seen victimize herself in the past, by disowning her own responsibility for her words, actions, and decisions, and I want so much more for her. I would not be able to look at myself in the mirror if I did not contribute some catalytic emotional pressure towards her; something to help her get through the BS layers in order to find a deeper truth within her. And the deepest truth within any of us is love. The only thing keeping us from feeling, living, and expressing that love is fear. And fear manifests itself as pain, sorrow, loss, longing, and frustration.

So I'll say it again, because I love people so dearly, I will never cow-tow to the ego and the insidious games it plays. I will never pat people on the head and say "there there, you're right, you're very hard done by and life is so hard on you" because I know that experience is simply the bi-product of our previous thoughts, feelings, and actions.

To truly show love, respect, compassion and empathy, we must be willing to be unpopular, to be honest, and to stand up to the most vile manifestations of ego and anger.

And when this very dear person is ready to exhale, and let her anger go, and approach me honestly in her pain, and her sorrow, I will then take her gently in my arms and whisper words of assurance and validation to her. For then she will be in a place to receive my compassion. For now, she only wants to fight, because she is so unhappy within herself and doesn't know how to direct those complex feelings.

And this is the type of love I welcome into my life too. I have learned more through adversity than similarity in my life, and when people in my life have held a mirror up to me and challenged me to see my own hypocrisy and duplicity, I have raged, and become righteously angry and volatile; and then I have gone within, seen and faced the truth they have gifted me with, and grown.

That is all any of us can do; be honest, and grow beyond our previous limited perception, towards a fulfillment of love, and peace, and acceptance.

The Truth about the Law of Attraction: Avoidance vs. Involvement

I think our collective search for enlightened self-awareness is a beautiful sign of our changing times, and a testament to the human spirit and will to be more than we currently are. On the journey of awakening, we encounter ideas and ideologies that test our boundaries, flex our compassion and force us to hold ourselves up to scrutiny as we attempt to see the ego clearly in order to grow beyond its limited and clingy insecurities.

One of the major tenets of the new age spirituality is the Law of Attraction; this is a large part of the movement, and one which is open to much interpretation, and ironically it's depth seems to grow as we do as individuals. In the beginning of a journey of self-awareness the LoA seems like a magical realm we can access if we act, think, and speak in proper or positive ways.

As we grow and evolve, we come to realize that one simply cannot play at attraction to bargain with the fates; one must shift their entire state of being in order to be in alignment with the fullness of the physics of this Universe.

One of the pitfalls along the journey, in regards to the Law of Attraction, which can catch you up and stick you in one delusional spot, is the notion that since like attracts like, you must surround yourself with only positive people, and remove all negative people from your life. I have seen people walk away from relationships, marriages, parents, family and friends because of this very issue, and witnessed the outcome as a result. It is never what you hope it will be.

The Law of Attraction promises more of what you put out there; if you remove negative people from your life because you only want positive people in your life, you will surely soon be surrounded by negative people. This is because the sub-thought, or the underlying motivator is fear; fear of the negative people, and all they bring with them. The Law of Attraction is a lesson machine, and there is certainly much more to be learned from our adverse relationships than our harmonic ones.

Ridding yourself of negative relationships will only serve to teach you about abandonment, disloyalty, and running away; you cannot escape karma. It is wiser to learn how to relate to these negative people in a more positive way. Rather than disassociating yourself from the negative people about you, it would be wiser to focus on what you can learn, and how you can help.

I learned this lesson in a poignant and super intimate way myself, through the relationship I have with my mother. While she is not a negative person per se, our relationship was negative, critical, and painful for me. I walked away from the relationship finally and stayed away for three years. During that three years I learned to come to terms with my feelings, guilt, anger, and thought I had done the "right" thing. Life was certainly more peaceful without the arguments we would have had. And yet, I missed my mother. And at the end of the experience, nothing was gained; in fact three years had been lost.

When I let her back into my life I learned immediately that nothing had changed; we still had communication issues, respect issues, and a massive imbalance in our relationship. So I began to ask new questions; rather than asking "why does this happen to me every time we talk?" or "How can she be so cold?" I began to ask "What is it about me that sets her off?" and "How can I adjust my behavior in order to bring out the best in her?"

When I adjusted my perception it all fell into place, magically. My mother wanted to nurture me, and I had never realized I was defensive towards that, feeling as though she was treating me like a child. She wanted to feel a motherly sense of control and power, so I allowed her to take on more a parental concern roll in my life again, and when I stopped being critical of her, she immediately stopped doing so with me. It has been a growth period in the last few years between us, as our power struggles gave way to a real and authentic relationship. We enjoy one another in a way we never did previously. When I got out of her way long enough to let her be my parent again, and stopped being defensive long enough to let her nurture, she became comfortable with me. And this allowed her to accept me more openly for who I am in return.

I am pleased to say, that after decades of unhealthy toxicity between us, we are now truly mother and daughter again. Neither of us are perfect, but neither of us are fixated upon the others faults. And for once, we can just enjoy each other "as is."

In this way, the LoA has truly "rewarded" me with "more of the same", in that I put in the genuine time and effort to see my part in the negativity in the relationship, and the entire dynamic of the relationship shifted as soon as I had the revelation I needed.

So this brings me to another pitfall regarding the Law of Attraction; this is a mentality I see many spiritualists exuding which needs addressing, as it is detrimental not only to the individual, but to the very planet itself.

"If I don't think about it, it isn't an issue."

Many new agers seem to have this idea that if they don't think about it, it ceases to be an issue; and they act as though this is positive thinking when in fact it is apathy and avoidance.

Sure, where you put your focus your energy intensifies. Yet if you look around you to the world at large, we are living in very uncertain times; there is so much cataclysm around us, hunger, war, tyranny, injustice, and none of these wrongs will be righted by turning a blind eye towards them.

The LoA would be best utilized by lightworkers and spiritualists who understand that shining a positive light upon the negative aspects of this world will exponentially benefit everyone, and everything.

None of us are here to experience an easy Nirvana; if we were, we would all move to Tibet and sit upon mountains with monks, chanting, taking up vows of celibacy and silence, so we can do kindness all day and meditate our way to higher levels of personal awareness.

We are not on that mountain however, and there are very real issues all around us that impose themselves upon our empathy and compassion, and ignoring them does not make them go away. Enlightenment is not something to seek for the sake of having it, nor is it something that comes easily; truly enlightened souls know that difficulty is the truest path to ease.

So do you want to really explore the LoA, and truly flex your awakening journey? Get involved. Get involved in anything that ignites the passion within your spirit. There are so many causes upon this planet that will fire your chakras and get your empathy boiling, and this involvement will connect you to others who are working towards a common cause; you will learn together, grow together, and discover real and valid ways to be the change you wish to see in the world.

I challenge you to challenge yourself; follow the path of least resistance and yet keep your eyes open and be aware of the world around you. Paying heed to the heartache of your fellow man will not drag you "down", but perhaps it will help you figure out a way to lift others UP.

The Law of Attraction is a universal law of physics; science, not a mystical system of barter or exploitation. Rather than focusing on what you can get out of it, try to see what you can put into it.

To paraphrase, for a little tongue-in-cheek fun;

"Ask not what the Law of Attraction can do for you, ask what YOU can do for the world around you."

God is Greater Than Your Deepest Truth

I am an ardent seeker of truth, and the truth is subjective, and hides under layers of subterfuge and ego much of the time, so truth seeking can be a needle hunt, and send one off on side tangents and journeys into the darker reaches of the psyche. For one to genuinely wish to see the truth of who they are, to really wish to understand who they are, they must be willing to take a lot of of cosmic anvils to the forehead, a lot of uppercuts to the identity, and it requires much uncomfortable eating of crow.

You see, the truth is something we seldom deal in when looking at who we are, as we tell our stories, and build up layers of comfortable persona-laden tidbits in order to feel more at home within the skin. To know truth one must see the fallacies within, clearly and without bias, and understand their own human condition intimately. It is our condition to seek comfort and safety, and often truth flies in the face of such things, making us feel twitchy and not at all at ease. So we rewrite the past, and build up bits of who we have been in order to live with it in a more peaceful way. 

We do this with God too, and this is indeed the most basic of our conditioning as a species. We identify with a deity that fulfils needs we have deep within, and so we personalize God and build Him in our own image and likeness. God becomes the parent we never had, the mentor we sought growing up, the shoulder we could weep upon and the hand which guides us lovingly. We put our own needs and wants and insecurities into our expectations of God, until we stop addressing God, and replace Him with the being we need; choosing our insecurities over truth.

But God is not the type of deity that coddles insecurity and pats heads and feeds cookies. 

God doesn't lie to Her creations, and does not waste time feeding false delusions with further illusions of grandeur. 

I see people on social networks addressing their Gods, praying for their petty wants and desires, pleading with and posturing and playing politics, trying to bargain with God in order to have their own will be done. Very few people are comfortable at the core with "thy will be done." In truth, we push our agendas on to God, and when God doesn't hand over the keys to the kingdom on a silver platter then victims are born.

I am a big fan of prayer; I pray often, quietly, inwardly and outwardly. I pray when I gaze upon the stars, I pray when I lay in bed at night, I pray when I see a baby smile. And when I think I want something I try to humbly ask God to do as She sees fit, and grant me the serenity to accept that choice. 

To truly love and accept God, you have to love and accept yourself, and understand a few basic principals at the core of your being;

• God is not invested in your drama, and He grants you free will - you will experience the consequences of your previous choices, so be sure you're able to live with your choices.
• God is not a wish master, She is not a genie in a bottle, no amount of asking nicely will grant your wishes. Want your prayers answered? Pray for selfless things. God loves givers.
• God helps those who help themselves. Get off your knees, begging doesn't become you.
• God is not a physical being, does not look like you, does not experience emotions like you, and is indeed far beyond any of our comprehension. If you truly understood WHO God IS, you would never feel fear, anger, jealousy, envy, or compulsion again.
• God has better things to do than answer your ever whim.
• God is greater than your deepest truth, your most fervent yearning, your most sorrowful pain.

To really have a relationship with the infinite energy of the Universe, the Giver Of Duality, the Granter Of Decisions, you will want to stop seeing Him as a He. Stop seeing Her as a She. God is All. God is energy.

God is vibration and sound and elements of light and dark and everything in between. God is ALL.

All couldn't care less about what job you do, or if you fall in love, or if your children are behaved, or if you get the raise, or house, or car, or anything else you ask God for. God gave you all the tools you need to grant these things to yourself.

What God does is exist - within all - lending Universal energy to All. You can access this energy and work with it, or you can ignore it and worship petty godlings and false idols.

And when it comes to world religions - they are all false idols.

Yet none are wrong, and there is no sin. It is all self imposed - God is the most accommodating creator you could conceive of - there is no limit to what you can do in Gods Garden.

I urge you to stop seeing God in the mirror, and start seeing God as more than you are, learn to let go of your dogma and pre-conceived notions, and seek the truth in the most honest and humble way you can. Talk to God, and then still your mind, turn off your agenda seeking ego, and listen.

God is always talking. Birds sing, God talks. Rains fall, God talks. A star falls, God talks. The Moon waxes, God Talks. 

Are you listening?

Miracles Happen - I Am Living Proof!

Twenty-Five years ago I had my first scoliosis surgery, and was fused from the middle of my spine to my mid-lumbar with titanium bars to correct a pretty impressive curve that was shaped like an "S". After that I had twelve uneventful years, with daily aches and pains and occasional trips to the local ER for pulls, tears and other painful episodes, but all in all I could not complain.

In 2000 after giving birth to my miracle child (she was born despite all the odds against my body) I began to suffer pain of a deeper degree on a daily basis. As the years went by this pain deepened until about five years ago I found walking all but impossible due to the pain and grinding in my lower back.

A year ago, on January 22, 2013 I had a spinal revision surgery to extend my rods down lower on my lumbar spine, as I'd worn away so much bone during years of bone on bone friction. And then last July I had another emergency revision, in which all hardware was removed and I was fused from my neck to my pelvis. Basically I have metal running the entire length of my spine, and both rods are screwed into my pelvic plates. 

After surgery last summer I was completely immobilized, and spent more time in hospital unable to move, walk, sit or stand. I was sent home in late August with daily nursing care, a hospital bed, and other personal aides for the bathroom and home. The road ahead was long, and punctuated by a lot of frightening question marks. 

Would I be able to walk again? Would I require further surgery? Was my mobility a thing of the past?

I fell into depression and during the fall of last year I found it difficult to keep my thoughts positive as I saw little to no progress. Some days I would weep from morning to night, as a feeling of futility settled upon me like a damp scratchy cloak. My husband and daughter were so supportive and loving, and without their patience I'm not sure I would have made it through the end of the year with my emotional well being in tact. 

Then as November gave way to December something miraculous happened, and for absolutely no reason at all, I began to grow stronger!

The last month and a half has been amazing in ways I cannot even express; I find myself walking without assistance, no walker, no cane, no limp and no pain that I cannot bear! All of a sudden my body has slipped into acceptance of it's new posture, and the debilitating pain that plagued me over the last few years has become simple aches and pains; which I surely am strong enough to handle. I'm a champion when it comes to aches and pains.

I did not pray or even wish for this; I was certain in my bleakest moments that the long descent into disability was under way, and I would never know physical strength again. I did not think positively or attempt to manifest good health, I did not dare hope for things that I knew surely were not in store for me. I turned my prayer and blessings outwards towards friends and family, and tried to come to terms with my inability to do the things I had once taken for granted. I attempted to graciously accept that my house would never gleam again, and that I would never put my own socks on again, and was learning to weather it with quiet resolve as I strived to reclaim any amount of dignity I could.

So as the last few weeks have gone by I've found myself wondering "how did this happen??" I did not pray for it, I did not dare. I did not expect or anticipate or even dream of it. I have become so accustomed to "bad news" regarding my health that I was adjusting my perception to accommodate it and try to find the blessings therein. I was truly beginning to find peace in the notion that the remainder of my days would be spent requiring assistance showering, washing up dishes, preparing a small meal...

But here I sit, fit and straight; my spine aligned as I have never known it, my hips even, my legs strong, the pain within my body minimal for the first time in half a decade. Why? Do I believe in miracles? Of course I do, but I have never thought myself worthy of one.

Worthy or not, I've received a miracle, and I am so beyond grateful and humbled and over-the-moon joyful that I cannot contain it! 

I do not understand why some people must suffer while others seem to thrive, nor do I know why some people toil while others experience ease and abundance. I have suffered and toiled for so long that the thought of ease or abundance makes me feel somewhat uncomfortable, as I wonder what the price will be for such blessings. And maybe there is no divine "reason" for my miracle, and my body simply decided it was time to get up, heal, and move forward. 

In any event, I will not take it for granted. I have spent so much time in the last decade abed, feeling exhausted by the litany of medications I have taken to deal with the pain of a crumbling spine. And I still have a long road ahead of me, as I attempt to use muscles which have lain dormant for years, and get my body up and moving again. But I am so eager, and happy to have the ability to push myself to tears, as sweat rolls off my forehead and I grunt with the effort of riding my exercise bike, or doing the stretches I have to do in order to regain any amount of flexibility.

What I wish to leave you with, through the sharing of my miracle, is the knowledge that the body is a brilliant machine that serves us so well without our even realizing it most of the time. The simple act of bending to pick up something from the floor, or rolling over in bed without taking five painful minutes doing it little by little... there is so much the body does that we do not consider until those things are no longer possible. 

When I woke up with my arms paralysed last January after a nerve injury during surgery, and spent three days without their use until the nerve began to heal, I learned to never take my arms for granted again. Do you know how frustrating it is to have an itchy nose and no way to scratch it?

The body is a temple; and the soul dwells within. Treat your body as you would treat your most prized possessions, with care, gentle maintenance, and gratitude. 

I was lucky to find a surgeon gifted enough to build me a new strong spine. I was blessed to find his colleague who has committed himself to my pain management and rehabilitation. I am in awe of the miracle I have received in the last six weeks, and whether I thank God or the Goddess, modern medicine, or my own body, I want the world to know that miracles really can and do happen.

Three months ago I could not walk without a rollator walker, and required help in and out of the shower. I could not reach the bottom shelf of the fridge or do up my bra. It took me upwards of 2-3 minutes to walk 20 feet down the hall to the bathroom, and I could not sit or stand without great effort and pain.

Today I stretched for 15 minutes, then rode my exercise bike for 20 minutes, and soon I will go do the dishes, have a shower, and straighten up my bedroom; because my body is able to.

I do believe in miracles. They happen every day.